Yo Mama Fat Jokes

"Daddy please" He looked up from between her thighs and gave her a warning glare "Careful little flower, you don't want to sleep with an aching pussy do you??" ●●● Lilliana Barnette is your typical timid teenage girl, who finds herself falling more and more in love with the handsome Damon Michaelson... her father's bestfriend, a man much older than her and one she's to refer to as her uncle. Damon Arnold Michaelson, a multi-billionare business tycoon, bachelor in his prime known for his irresistible charm amongst the ladies. He finds himself falling for his neice Lilliana, but ...being his bestfriend's daughter meant she was forbidden to him but his desire for her only grew with each passing day ...even when he was being intimate with other women. She took over all of his thoughts without even trying. He knew he had to keep his distance from her but instead, found himself wanting to touch her every chance he got. His mind wanted to own his bestfriend's daughter in ways no one had ever done not even her boyfriend. All the while, she innocently kept thinking he's not affected by her or her body unaware of his filthy need to claim her as his for everyone to see. Everything changes when his said bestfriend has to leave the city for a business trip, entrusting him with the responsibility of taking care of his only daughter. Leaving under the same roof, the two find themselves in a love/lust infested dilemma. It gets ever harder for them to keep their feelings for each other hidden with every passing day. Though they tried at first, eventually their forbidden desire wins. They start meeting up secretly as often as possible, away from prying eyes ...most importantly away from Lilliana's father's eyes.

10 years pass. Karmina breaks free and roams amongst the living. Her darkness continues to grow, and the inevitable demise of Humanity hangs in the balance. Yet, there is hope. Eight individuals. A shared destiny. Each one presented a role to the chaos that has ensued, but only one holds the power to save everyone. Love. Hatred. Hope. Death. Fate.

KEIRA I had just limited time left to waste my tears on a man that didn't deserve me. I'm making the most out of my life before I finally die. I'm going to try everything I have been hindering myself from doing because I was busy being the good girl. When I saw him at the bar that night, he ignited a spark I couldn't quench. A fire only I knew how it burned through me. He was twice my age but I didn't care. I wanted him and I knew it. I had just activated a new me and I'm loving it. I made the first move and his dominating aura took over. “I like your spark Bambi and I think I know what a lady in distress needs” He rasped, his voice lacing with possessiveness that sent shivers down my spine. GEORGE My heart leaped for Joy the moment she pecked my lips. I never thought she would have this so much effect on me. Every ounce of me desired her. She was so hot. I couldn't take my eyes off her after meeting her at the bar that night. Even after realizing she was my son's ex-wife, I was determined to make her mine and she was just about falling into my trap.

" Cindy you have to stay away from Brian" my mum warned. We are maids and that's how it's supposed to be I can't afford to lose my job and everything that I work for." Cindy and her mum Miss Grace work as maids in the Smith's mansion the second richest family in the country.. What happens when the oldest son falls in love with Cindy? Is their love going to withstand every obstacle, or are they going to go their separate ways? Read to find out!!

He is Prince Dymitri Lance Montague of the Kingdom of Nirvana, and she's his maid. They both fell in love with each other, but Serene clearly knew that their story was not a Cinderella-like love story with a happy ending. Hindi lamang ang estado nila sa buhay ang hadlang sa kanilang pag-iibigan kundi higit ang magulang ng binata na tutol sa kanilang relasyon. Ginawa ng mga ito ang lahat para paghiwalayin sila. Isang masakit na kasinungalingan na naging dahilan para labis siyang kamuhian ng binata. Na deport si Serene pabalik ng Pilipinas kasabay ng pagkakatuklas niya na siya'y nagdadalang-tao. Limang taon ang lumipas, habang naghihintay ng masasakyan si Serene kasama ang apat na taong gulang na anak mula sa pinapasukan nitong kindergarten, bigla itong tumawid sa kalsada ng hindi niya namamalayan. Muntik na itong masagasaan kung hindi lang mabilis ang driver ng SUV sa pagpreno. Ngunit hindi lang iyon ang nagpayanig sa buong pagkatao ni Serene, ikinagimbal niya rin ng labis ng masilayan niya ang mukha ng lalakeng bumaba mula sa backseat ng sasakyan. Si Dylan.. na noo'y biglang tumiim ang mga mata ng mapadako ang tingin sa kanyang anak.

Alicia and Alice were over pampered twins, spoilt to a fault. They got whatever they wanted as long as they requested it from their parents who were the Alpha and Luna of knighthood pack. They were literally living the born with a silver spoon life, they were lazy to work, train and cared little about the pack. One fateful day, the pack was attacked by the ruthless and bloodthirsty vampires. Being so unprepared, the pack was easily conquered and the Alpha and Luna were killed right in front of the twins. The remaining wolves were taken in as slaves, Alicia and Alice included. The twins were forced to face the harsh realities of life and unfortunately, they couldn't bend this one to their will. They finally get to meet the orchestrator of the attack, it was head of the vampires, king Azalea. Handsome but cruel, he hated wolves with every fiber in his body. As if fate was still not done with them yet, The twins mate turned out to be the king of vampires who killed their parents. How does it play out from here? The twins hated their vampire mate for what he did to their pack and parents and king Azalea hated the twins as well. Their future together already looked so bleak, could the moon goddess had made a mistake pairing them together? Follow this story to know how the twins learnt responsibility and duty the hard way and maybe, the hate can turn to love?

We share a world with beings not all like us, a world protected by old magic. In this Archipelago live the shifters; Lion, Wolf, Reptile, and Flyer. Each island is a perfect ecosystem for the prominent race of the land. Tropical, yes, but also filled with woods, deserts, jungles, and grasslands. Shifters here are destined to find their true mates in the fated unions of the islands. But if never found, they take their chosen mates. Creating stronger bonds and warriors all around. With this peace, The Archipelago is ruled by a beautifully regal Queen and her fated court. Together families are larger, stronger, and more loyal. The only one who seeks power and wants to rule over both worlds, The Shadow Warrior. His Shadow Clan army will stop at nothing to rule over all the shifters and even the humans. His plan, though bold, intertwines with the prophecy of the Queen.  A prophecy exists, but few know its true meaning. The Shadow Warrior has lived before and will rise again. He will stop at nothing to claim his prize, the Queen of the Shifters with amethyst eyes, but will he succeed? The Lion Queen, Kimarhi, is about to face the challenges of prophecy and fate. After losing her family, her path is set to rule over Lion Island. Little does she know finding love and destiny will set her crown in a blaze. She is passionate about the fight and willing to die for her people. But the love of her fated is strong, and it empowers her to become something more fierce. Channeling strength and the skill of her love, feeling the pull of the bond, and accepting her destiny. Will she win in the end, or will the hands of dark forces destroy her home and heart?

Being born a white wolf was supposed to be a blessing, but for Faith Collins, it was a curse. Her mate used her for her magic, then rejected her for her younger sister. Now, fulfilling her duty to her pack, she’s forced into mating an evil man for a peace treaty, trapped in a fate she never chose. Only, before vows can be spoken, Faith is kidnapped by the most feared alpha of all, Alpha Kaiden Reed. He was her pack’s greatest enemy and thrived in chaos. To others, he was ruthless and cruel, but to her, he might just be her salvation. As war ensues for her return, her fate rests solely in his hands. But can she trust him, or is he just another captor wanting to use her for her power?

"I believe we spoke on the phone today. I hope everything is in order?" As smooth in person as on the phone I turned and was met with the full force of his good looks. Just have me right now my inner wolf screamed. Dark rich hair, just long enough for a few curls to tease his forehead, coffee-coloured eyes, and olive skin. Several inches taller than me and was built like a Greek statue. Perfection. The crushing disappointment of his good looks hit me. He was definitely a shifter and therefore totally, immediately and forever off limits. Human’s just never look that good. Selene doesn't want a mate. She's ambitious, determined and independent. To end up shackled to a man who won't support her dreams like her sisters is her worst nightmare. The mate-bonds monthly heat, overwhelming lust-fuelled insanity terrifies her control-freak nature. Rocco doesn't want a mate either. Running a buzzing casino gives him ample opportunity to sleep with all the beautiful human women the city has to offer. Shifters are a hassle. Even beautiful, blonde haired wonders like Selene. Yet when their paths cross sparks fly. However the local Alpha loves taking proud women down a peg, his head Beta desires Selene and Rocco wants to kill them both. They are fighting against the very thing that may keep them alive as the cruelty of the pack's leadership turns against Selene. Her trick of hiding in a hotel and lying to her family every full moon can only last for so long...

Isang taon na lang ay graduate na sa kolehiyo si Lorelei Carpio ngunit ayaw ng sustentuhan ng kanyang Tita Agnes ang kanyang pag-aaral simula noong magkaroon ang Tita niya ng live-in partner. Ito ang nagpalaki sa kanya simula noong mamatay ang mama niya ngunit ngayon ay pinapaalis na siya nito sa pamamahay nito. Sa kagustuhang makapagtapos ay pumayag siyang sumali sa isang Sorority na nangakong tutustusan ang pag-aaral niya. Ngunit hindi niya alam na ang pagtanggap sa kanya ay may kapalit na mainit na gabi mula sa leader ng kasapi nilang Fraternity. At mas hindi siya handa matapos magbunga ng kambal ang pangyayaring iyon. Kambal mula sa lalaking hindi niya kilala at ni minsan ay hindi nasilip. Paano niya sasabihin ngayon sa bagong amo niyang si Hector Montanier na isa siyang single mother gayong ang gusto nito ay dalagang sekretarya? "I might require you to work 24/7, so make sure you don't have any extra baggage to attend to. Don't worry, I'll pay you triple or name your price," seryosong saad nito matapos iabot sa kanya ang blankong cheque.