Yo Mama So Fat Jokes

“Accept me, Sarah.” Finnick begged. “I, Sarah Woods, of the RedWoods pack, accept- “What in Goddess’ name is going on here?” my brother’s shouting interrupted me as I was about to accept Finn as my mate. “Come on, Finn. Tell her the whole truth. Tell her how you’ve had someone different warming your bed almost every night for the last four years, sometimes more than one!” Finding out the boy she loved since she was 16 was also her mate was the best and worst day of Sarah’s life. Learning he’d been cheating on her was a betrayal she couldn’t forgive. She was heartbroken until fate put Zayne Davies, Beta of the Glass Lake pack, in her path. Zayne’s love healed her broken heart and Sarah thought she’d finally found her happy ending. Until Finnick found them and proved the Moon Goddess’ plans were far more complicated. Sarah must decide to either fight for her mate bond or run from both men. No matter what she decides, the increasing threat to the entire wolf kingdom is something none of them can escape. Like it or not, they are tangled together in a web of deceit, danger and desire that will either lead to their downfall or might just be their saving grace. *Warning: This book is an erotic romance featuring non-incestuous polyamory between multiple mates with bisexual interactions. This is Book 2 in the Celtic Wolf Series. Book 1- An Unwanted Fate- Completed Book 2- A Tangled fate: Bound By Her Betas- Completed Book 3- A Cruel Fate: Her Gamma's Regret-Coming Soon!

“Marek!” Straightening, I glared at her. “I think you forgot. I apparently need to remind you.” “Forgot what?” She was caught between the pleasure and the pain. “I am a monster. I’m bathed in blood. Molded by it. I’ve been in this filth for much longer than you have been alive, búsinka.” Her eyes widened. “Marek…” “You don’t get to run. You don’t get to think you are too damaged. That there is too much blood on your hands or that you are too soulless. I was there first. So don’t you dare shy away from me, zhena…” ~ ~ ~ Marek Baranov dedicated himself to his family and the Baranov Bratva. With three older brothers, no one expected him to marry for convenience or to tie the families together. So, he turned his focus to his work, both above ground and under. When Rosaria Bernardi, daughter of their rival Don Carlo Bernardo, crashes into his world with a death wish, and other option comes to light. He, the only single male in the Baranov family, could make the enemy kneel by marrying their very own princess. There is more than just years of bad blood between them, though. Despite their differences, the two find common ground in being raised by the underworld. A world forcing them to choose cruelty and blood over everything else. Marriage signed, the two come together and find an unlikely companionship that blossoms into something far more than either of them expected as the threats mount. Together, they learn to lean on each other. Even when things get messy, bullets fly, and the blood on their hands feels too much to bear.

Angelique Monroe is what everyone wants to be: she's beautiful, rich, smart, and a dominant omega heir to an entire pack. She's basically the queen of the world, or, at least, she's the queen of her own world... the one inside her head. In reality, no one can stand her. Everyone thinks Angelique is an insufferable woman who needs to be taught a lesson. And, twenty-four years later, Angelique finally gets what she deserves. After a trip to London and a dead human, Angelique can't run from the consequences, she has to face them. That's how she ends up in Wolf Camp For Delinquents, It's either that or prison. But Angelique didn't know how horrible that camp was going to be, if she had known, she would have preferred to spend her time in prison. Because Wolf Camp For Delinquents is hell itself. And the ruler of hell is Satan himself: Alpha Elliot Thorne. Elliot Thorne hates Angelique more than anyone else, especially when Angelique lies and says she's his fated mate. Suddenly, Elliot has to pretend to love the most insufferable person in the world. Warning: This is an unlikely love story with unlovable people.

Natalia’s life was not so easy before the marriage, but she really didn't expect that she would accidentally marry the most popular man in the pack. Adrian Miller, the future Alpha never taken her seriously in this loveless marriage. But Natalia never stopped making an effort to win his heart. She kept trying until it became too much for her, and she decided to leave him forever. However, she had a secret identity that was kept hidden from everyone. What would happen if everyone found out about it? What if he discovered she was the only person he had ever desired in his life? What if she decided not to forgive him and instead moved on?

SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK THREE *While this book can be read as a standalone, I'd highly recommend reading books one (Alpha Gray) and two (Alpha Theo) for context before this book* JAX : I'm no stranger to one night stands. Lots of girls want a hook-up with an alpha, so why should this one be any different? Maybe it's because she's the best I ever had. Maybe it's because she refused to tell me anything about herself. We agreed to one night, no strings attached. The problem is, I can't get that night out of my head; I've been obsessed with finding this girl since. When she shows up at the squad complex for training, I feel like it's my lucky day- until my best friend introduces her as his sister and things get... complicated. I can't go against bro code, right? Even if Quinn is my dream girl. Even if there's a crazy attraction between us that's harder to resist every day. I'm so screwed.  ~ QUINN : One night. It was supposed to be one night of anonymous, meaningless with a stranger. I just wanted to have a good time and forget about my cheating ex. It definitely did the trick- I haven't thought about my ex since, but now I can't stop thinking about that night or the sexy stranger who had all the right moves. When I arrive at the complex for a fresh start, I'm shocked to see him again- and even more surprised to find out that he's not only an alpha, but also one of my brother's best friends. Theo would Jax if he found out about that night. He can never know- which means I have to keep my distance. Even if I can't stop fantasizing about Jax. Even if it kills me.

“You think I want this?” she hisses. “You think I asked for this bond? I hate you. I hate everything about you. You killed my husband. You took everything from me!” “Then kill me,” I growl, my voice barely more than a whisper. “If you hate me so much, kill me and end this.” She shakes her head, her eyes narrowing. “I’m not giving you the easy way out. Not until I know what rejecting this bond will do to me and my pack. Not until I know what we’re dealing with. Until then, I invoke The Gallows Law.” *** Luna Katya's world is shattered when her husband, Alpha Andrei, is killed by the ruthless Rogue Alpha Ruslan. Grieving and pregnant, Katya is ready to see the man responsible for her loss executed. But when Ruslan is brought before her, the mate bond snaps into place, throwing her life into chaos. Shocked and horrified, Katya calls for a stay of execution, invoking an old law known as The Gallows Law, which forbids the execution of a fated mate. Now, Katya must not only face the anger of her pack, who are disgusted by her sudden connection to the man they all hate, but a mate who hates her and who she hates in equal measure. Caught in a web of anger and attraction, Katya must decide whether to reject the bond and risk its unknown consequences, or keep the Rogue alive long enough to figure out what the Goddess has cursed her with. But the clock is ticking, and the pack won’t wait forever for justice.

Lauren's life is turned upside down when her chosen mate of ten years leaves her for his fated mate. A mate who had rejected him for a more powerful alpha With her arrival back in their lives, Everything is stripped from Lauren leaving her with nothing. Feeling broken and dejected she leaves, unable to bear the consuming pain of betrayal. Circumstances force her back and she finds an unlikely ally in Alpha Sebastian. A man who is both feared and Revered. A king without a throne, he rules both the human and wolf world. He is also her ex mate's nemesis. Theirs is an unusual union. He's too cold and she's not his type. Love is not in their agenda. So why does she get a thrill when he calls her his? and why does he look at her like she's his salvation? Turns out their enemies are the least of her worries. Not when the real danger is in the fire that ignites between them. The fire that could set them a blaze in love and passion or destroy them. Note: This book is a two in one. Book 1: The Alpha And His Contract Luna Book 2: The Alpha And His Chosen Mate

“You love the way I touch you, don’t you, kitten? You can’t hide it. Tell me to stop, and I will do that immediately?” I couldn’t say anything; I was a complete wreck of nerves. He inched his face closer, and I arched my back so that it pushed my chest towards him.  I couldn’t control myself. I just wanted him to touch me. Needed him to touch me.   “Do you still think that this is a mistake?” He asked, his lips curved in a teasing smirk.  However, I was far too gone to argue.  “I’m not going to touch you until you beg me.” He stepped even closer. “Now, kitten, do you still think that this is a mistake?” *** *** *** **** In one single day, my entire life is turned upside down when Dad is brought back to the pack, lifeless and dead in every way. However, the last thing I would have expected was my mother to show up on our doorstep after thirteen years to take me in. Or maybe not, because nothing else can beat the insane attraction that I feel to this man. This man walking down the stairs and looking every bit like some Greek god of seduction. “Olivia, my husband, André.” Wait… He’s my stepfather?

Growing up side by side, as children of the pack Beta and Gamma, Lachlan and Seren should be the perfect pairing made by fate. But, after Lachlan’s father, the Beta of Black Crescent Pack died to save Seren’s life his son, Lachlan now holds nothing but resentment and hate for the beautiful young she-wolf. Coming of age is a date Lachlan has been waiting for. The date he will begin preparing to inherit his father’s title should be a special day for him, but instead is ruined by meeting his fated… The one person in the world he would not want to be fated to. The one person he hates most in the world. Seren. Surely fate would not be so cruel to fate him to the one he hates? But in a pack where tradition means rejection is frowned upon, Lachlan finds himself in a difficult situation. But, he has no intention of being with the person who causes him to live without his father. Can the two live in peace together with the matebond simmering?

Liara Haysbert's whole world revolved around her books and her family. She didn't want to find her mate just after turning eighteen because she wanted to become a doctor first. A part of her didn't wish to find her mate because she was scared that her mate would reject her. Because she used to struggle to speak in front of anyone, as she had been mocked her whole life because of her nerd nature. But life had another plan for her when out of the blue, her part crossed with her fated mate, a rogue. "Ple..please sto..stop following me." Liara whimpered, feeling scared, but immediately she realized something, "Oh!! I…I get it.. You can't s..stop yourself be..because of the mate bond. Let..lets reject each other, okay?" "Ple..please tell me yo..your name." She whispered. "I don't have a name, Liara. Everyone calls me by different names; you can choose one to reject me. The options are Bastard, Killer, Asshole, Black, Red, Speed, dickhead, Beast, heartless, leech, dog, etc. The list is too long." Liara's heart sank upon hearing this, and she soon realized what the hell she was going to do. She kept staring at him without blinking her eyes for a while before speaking. "Theodore." It meant 'a gift of god'. And he was indeed a gift by Moon Goddess; otherwise, they wouldn't have been 'FATED MATES.' * Book 4: Fated Mates: Love Over Everything (Ongoing) Book 3: The Rejected Luna: Daddy, Where is Mommy? (Ongoing) Book 1: Billionaire’s Ex-Wife & His Hidden Babies (Completed) Book 2: My Mate is a Witch (Completed) *** Follow me on social media. Search ‘sprachi12’