You Are The Knife I Turn Inside Myself Novels & Stories

I fell to my knees as the truth shattered everything I thought I knew, my ears ringing loudly as a new voice rose inside my head, cold and sharp and cruel, whispering over and over again. Stab yourself. I screamed and shook my head, clutching my skull as tears streamed down my face. “No,” I cried. “No, no, no.” Stab yourself. I tried to resist, I really did, but my body moved before my mind could catch up, and with a broken sob I ripped the knife away from Alpha Lucien’s chest and, with no control left in me, I drove it into myself. The world stopped. The air went still. My body went cold.

Because without her, I didn’t have a light. “I’m Knives!” I introduced myself with a wide grin that I didn’t feel, and yet, I felt like laughing at his expression. He was just about to piss himself, seeing the darkness in my eyes. The darkness that just wanted to kill him and have his blood on my hands, instead of hers! But for now, I pushed back the instinct to kill him, because despite hating it, I needed him alive.

I am compelled to grasp this knife, as my life is at stake. I'm numb; my entire body is devoid of sensation. My inner Goddess is screaming at me to drop the knife and flee. However, my body begs me to fall to my knees. To submit to the darkness in order to bow down and pay respects to the dark lord himself. I will not submit to her. I am not going to let my body betray me, and I shove the knife forth, slicing through the air. I watch as the scarlet red liquid splatters on the ground, and I am struck by its stunning hue.

I stabbed myself with the knife and laughed at myself as I drop on the floor bloody. I blinked several times. I looked at my fingers, they are wet with my blood. But it seems like I am okay, internally. I stand up and a knife is in my chest. I grabbed it quickly threw it away and stared back at the drawer. an eye was creeping there, glaring at me. Shush, she can hear you. -------From the author---------

"There she is. Hello." For one breathless moment I was balanced on the knife's edge of becoming — half woman, half something vast and silver — and it did not hurt. For the first time in twenty-four years, the thing inside me wasn't a wound. It was a self. Then I lost my nerve and slammed the door, and the silver snapped back under my skin, and I dropped to my knees, gasping.

"You miss your father don't you? You want to see him again? Cause I'm gonna send you to him right away." He suddenly brought out a small knife from his pocket. Kimberly let out a sharp cry as she sighted the knife. "Leave my presence," he growled. Kim stood up and ran for her dear life.

And again. And again. Then I coughed. Blood spilled again. My legs gave out. I dropped to one knee. He watched me quietly. No fear. No anger. Just calm. That made me angrier. I reached into my pocket. The silver knife. I had carried it for protection. Funny. Now I knew what it was really for. He noticed the knife. “You don’t have to do this,” he said. I smiled. “For the first time,” I whispered, “I’m choosing something for myself.”

Caspian’s confession didn't just break the ice in my heart—it shattered the very foundations of my reality. He hadn't just found me in this life. He had hunted through the corridors of time to find the version of me that survived. "You came back for me," I whispered, my voice trembling against his lips.

Knives have always been my favorite weapon, there’s so much you can do with it. “So here’s what we are gonna do..”. I lean back a little, pointing the knife to them. “You’re gonna confess..”. I said to the much slimmer one, he won’t be fun to skin. “While I torture him, for every wrong answers he gives me. I’m gonna cut off a hunk of your flesh, does that work for us?” I laughed as I watched the fear in their eyes. “But first,” I continue, bending forward until my face is level with theirs, “I’d like to introduce myself. The devil always gives an introduction before he takes your soul.”