You're So Old Jokes

“Any conversation we're going to be having is going to be in the four corners of my wall and after that, I'd love and appreciate it if you forgot my name, home address and social security number— if you have that, of course.” “Cute,” he laughs and then winces when I open the drink can with a pop. I raise a brow at him, urging him to continue and then take a sip of my drink as I wait patiently. “ Contrary to what you may think, I'm not here to hurt you or whatever it is you're thinking —” “No shit.” “I'm here to offer you a deal. One I know you wouldn't be able to refuse.” “Sure, Professor Xavier.” This is getting fun and it's the most fun I've had in a few days. “Marry me.” ********** I had a one night stand with a handsome, enigmatic stranger. It was drunk decision; one I promised myself never to indulge in. Putting aside my regret, I continue with life and the trials it keeps throwing my way. As a girl used to surprises, what I don't expect is seeing this stranger from months ago at my doorstep and offering me a deal I can't seem to refuse: a marriage contract in exchange for my biggest wishes to be fulfilled.

Riccardo Salvatore Armani is a man with a great body and brilliant mind who can be compared to a Greek god but with the heart of Lucifer. Yes, with both devilish and lovable hearts. Everyone conquered his devilish heart and none conquered his lovable heart, or yet… With no parents, no helpers, no bodyguards, no friends, no past, and no girls around, he is living a robotic life with the only character of yelling at people and killing ruthlessly everyone who comes in his way. Ishita Kapoor is a girl with a goddess physique, an Angel heart, and a brilliant and stupid brain at the same time. Having everyone around her, she is living a best yet worst life because of society's pressure on her. Everyone who sees her from the outside will see her best life but only when those who get to see under her always-covered body, will come to know her true life. Having everything and everyone doesn’t help her in her state.But, when a simple dare locked these two people in 2000sq. feet for 24 hours, he thought that this was just a day and it wouldn’t change his life and she thought she successfully completed her dare with the mystic man but they both didn’t know that there was more on their way which would change their life completely. MAFIA'S NOT SO INNOCENT GIRL is created by Priya Amour, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

Joyce and Jake grew up differently. Joyce financially struggled while Jake grew up with a golden spoon in his mouth. With the flick of his finger, he will get what he wants. Financially status is one of the main problems of Joyce. And this is the reason why she and Jake crossed each other in an unexpected event. It just started with a stag party that Jake will never forget and it’s an embarrassing moment on Joyce’s part. And when he found out who it was, Jake did everything he could to get what he wanted even if he pay everything including Joyce. Joyce was very annoyed with what Jake’s wanted to happen. She doesn’t look like money to reconcile with that Jake’s wishes. But eventually, they also agreed because of the problem that her stepmother was involved in. With the personality of Jake. Joyce fell in love without Jake’s knowing. Their situation became too complicated so Joyce broke the agreement and went away. After a long year, the two met again. And eventually, they will know that the reason why they met again was that they were destined.

I'm only sixteen ng makilala ko si Franz Zorego, ang hot business man na mas matanda sakin ng s'yam na taon. Unang kita ko pa lang sa kanya nasabi ko agad sa sarili ko na itong ang lalaking mamahalin ko. Kaya naman ginawa ko ang lahat para akalain nito na nasa tamang edad na ako. Pero hindi naitatago ang sikreto ng matagal na panahon. Dahil natuklasan nito na isa lang akong highschool student sa paaralang mismong pag aari ng kanilang pamilya. Mula noon ay umiwas na ito sa akin at 'di na ako pinapansin. Aaminin ko nasasaktan ako sa pag iwas nito pero anong magagawa ng isang gaya ko? Sabi nga nila isa lang akong hamak na bata na pagdating ng panahon mawawala at mababago rin ang nararamdaman. Totoo ba ang gano'n? Paano kung hindi?

Sa araw na nakipag divorce si Calista Everhart, ang divorce papers niya ay kumalas sa internet, at naging headline agad ito. Ang rason ng divorce ay nakahighlight ng pula. “Baog ang asawa, kaya hindi mabigay ang pangangailangan ng asawa.” Sa gabing yun, ang asawa niya, si Lucian Northwood, ay hinuli siya sa stairwell. Ang boses nito ay mababa habang sinabi sa kanya, “Papatunayan ko sayo na hindi ako baog…”

"What's wrong with us making love Clark? I.. I like you, kaya anong mali sa gagawin natin?" Halos manginig ang kanyang boses. He smile weakly saka inayos muli ang kanyang roba. "Someday you'll going to thank me for not making love with you tonight." Iyon lang at tuluyan na itong tumalikod at tinungo ang pinto. "No Clark.." She whisper. Papalabas na ito. "Someday you'll going to regret not making love with me tonight." Puno ng pait na sambit niya. -----<<>>----- Hanggang saan ang kaya mong tiisin para sa pag-ibig? Ano ang kaya mong ibigay para sa pagmamahal? Paano kung ginawa mo na ang lahat ay hindi pa rin sapat? Arabella Santana, the sole heiress of Don Armando Santana, a billionaire magnate. Spoiled rotten by her father. What Arabella wants... Arabella gets. But not Simon Clark Dela Fuente. Tahasan pa rin nitong tinanggihan ang kanyang pag-ibig kahit handa niyang ibigay ang lahat-lahat.

I'm finally pregnant after five years of marriage. I initially want Morgan Holt to accompany me to the hospital so I can surprise him, but he stoically tells me that he hates hospitals. I can understand and accommodate that. Then, he surprises me—he accompanies his new junior to the hospital for a medical checkup. At that moment, I know our relationship is over. When I bid him farewell, I say, "She's your true love's younger sister, right? I can understand why you've transferred your love to her. I wish you two well." His eyes redden. "I can't live without you."

Party-goer si Karisma. Isang gabi nang may magtangkang masama sa kanya ay iniligtas siya ng isang lalaki na nandoon, si Tobias Ortega. Nang malaman ng kanyang ina ang nangyari ay inutusan siya nitong pilitin ang binata na pumayag para maging personal bodyguard niya, kung hindi ay hindi na siya papayagan pang dumalo sa mga parties. Ngunit ayaw ni Tobias, kaya’t nagpasya si Karisma na pilitin ito at ligawan. Mapapapayag niya kaya ito?

An accident made Snow Cecy the most hated person of her husband. She was imprisoned and gave birth to a child in prison. After she was released from prison, it was her husband's crazy revenge and betrayal that met her and her children. Snow Cecy thought that one day she could wait for the truth to come out, but she only waited for a paper of incurable medical treatment. On the day of diagnosis, Vicdor Blake held his sweetheart and said to her, "you'd better die now. Don't hinder me from marrying Leyi!" At this moment, Snow Cecy finally understood what it means to die like ashes. In the fire, Snow Cecy held her child and had nothing to miss in this world. And when all the truth is revealed,Vicdor is almost tortured into a madman by remorse holding the ashes of the two people. Three years later, a person suffering from a terminal illness has become a famous doctor that is hard to find. However, the president has tortured himself to the death. Snow Cecy nestled in another man's arms and looked at Vicdor coldly. Even if you die now, it has nothing to do with me.

"What if... what if I had gotten pregnant back then? What if we had a child together? What would you do in that situation?" Ms. Julia leaned in, moving close to my ear, and whispered with a chilling intensity, "I would have killed him without a second thought." My eyes widened in shock, but the devil woman nodded with a cold smile. "That's right. Collin's heir can only be born from a woman who is exceptionally beautiful and exudes class, someone worthy of standing beside my handsome son. You, my dear, do not meet our standards. We have high expectations, girls." Marissa Bennett was left reeling from her mother-in-law's chilling words. Her elder sister, Renee, had abandoned her disabled fiancé on their wedding day, leaving Marissa to step in and marry him under the guise of Renee, all to save the family's reputation. The cruel twist? Marissa was forbidden from revealing her true identity to her new husband, Tyler Collins. After Tyler's surgery restored his health, Marissa's world was shattered when Renee returned, demanding her place as the rightful wife. Desperate to tell Tyler the truth, Marissa faced a dire threat from her mother-in-law, who vowed to kill her if she exposed the deception. Now pregnant and determined to protect her unborn child, Marissa must navigate the treacherous waters of the Collins family, seeking a way to escape and start anew, far from the lies and danger that surround her.