you re so old jokes one liners

8 years ago, Brian Regan and Elise Galloway accidentally slept together, but it was all just a misunderstanding. But, because Elise just left without explaining anything, the misunderstanding ended up becoming a problem in the future. Finally, 8 years later, they met again when Elise applied for a job as Brian Regan\'s new secretary at the man\'s company. Can they resolve their past misunderstandings and work well together as a boss and secretary?

25 years ago, a maternity nurse secretly switched me out for her daughter. Unfortunately for her, my six-year-old brother saw this and secretly switched me back. 25 years later, the maternity nurse comes knocking with her actual daughter by her side. She accuses me, the heiress of Crawford Group, of being an impostor. The company's janitor starts insulting me and insinuates that my lipstick is a cheap imitation. Even my boyfriend humiliates me with her. "And here I thought you were the heiress of the Crawford family. You can't even compare to a hair on Pammy's head!" When the DNA test results are out, everyone is stunned. "That wretch bewitched me, Lori! Please forgive me—give me another chance!" my boyfriend cries. I look at him icily. "Another chance to do what? To clean the toilets?"

Meet Skyler Jackson. She is the Alpha's 17-year-old nearly 18-year-old daughter, but is also the pack slave and the Alpha's punching bag. She dreamed of a mate when she was younger but doesn't believe, anymore. Meet the Mason brothers: Cole, Elijah, and Nathan. They are the Alphas of the most feared pack in the country. They are said to be ruthless and cruel to whoever crosses them, but they will also protect packs and loved ones with their lives. What will happen when Skyler meets these three brothers? What will happen when one commits the ultimate betrayal? Will she be able to forgive? Will his brothers? What will be in Skyler's future? *** Warning read at your own discretion as this story may trigger some readers as it contains physical and sexual abuse, violence and mature scenes. Please read at own discretion!

"Ausha would hunt you down whether you become a rogue or stay here, but I can protect you if you come with me." “Em...” I had just one option left—to leave with the bloodthirsty Alpha. Damn it. I was so fucked. After events that might make Danica’s stay in the Phoenix Pack her death trap, she must accept becoming the cold-hearted Alpha of the North’s mate and Luna for protection before the Alpha, who rejected her, comes for her life. Will her ruthless nature help her survive and stand strong through the dark days to come? Will she be able to earn the love and trust of the hole-hearted Alpha of the North, whose heart is guarded against love?

In a whirlwind of passion and consequence, Andy, a struggling pauper finds herself entangled in a one-night stand with a billionaire Drake, leading to an unexpected pregnancy. But there's a chilling twist- a curse on Andy’s lineage makes abortion impossible except the father of the child is ready to die, leaving them both in peril. As Drake's impending wedding with Stephanie looms, he must show between protecting his future and confronting the dark secrets lurking within his soon-to-be wife, Stephanie. An unexpected twist occurs when Drake's mother happens to be Andy’s father's first love and the reason his manhood was destroyed. In a table of love, betrayal and the sinister forces of fate, who will emerge unscathed in the ultimate battle for survival? Will the child be killed? Will the wedding hold? Will Stephanie's dark secrets be revealed before the wedding? Will Andy’s father get revenge? Read on to find out!

Scarlet blood trickled from my thigh as I clutched Arvin Owen's hand. "My belly... It hurts so much..." He shook off my hand indifferently. "Come on, I know it's chicken blood you are using. Debby just suffered abuse from her husband and is now in the hospital without anyone to care for her. Don't be so spoiled!" But what flowed from me was not chicken blood. It was my life slipping away.

"You have been a very bad girl wife"...Alyssa Jones is in love with Carl Miller for as long as she can remember.Dalton Miller is in love with Alyssa for as long as he can remember.What will happen when their parents decided to marry Alyssa with Dalton who is her best friend and in love with her and Carl with Amara, Alyssa's sister?Will Alyssa accept her best friend as her husband or will she continue to love Carl?Will Dalton make Alyssa fall in love with him? Relationships will get messy. Hearts will break but among all these will Alyssa be able to find her one true love?

All is fair in love, war and Business. Is it though? Grace never had it easy when it came to life. First she had to deal with her parents trying rip each other's head off. Her mother finally manages to take her away and escapes the man she called her father. But things take a new turn when a few years later, she witnesses her mother's death. She is left completely heartbroken and alone. She finally decides to pick her self up and stand back on her feet. But will she be able to carry herself after she lands a new job at a place she never expected, with a boss who is ready to walk all over her? Will things go the way she wanted them to or does fate has its part to play? ---------------------------------------------------- Her body jerked as she was pulled inside the office by his strong hand clutching her arms and within a second she found herself pinned against the wall, caged in the devil's arm. “What the..” her words were silenced by Aston's lips smashing against her own for a furious kiss. Time seemed to stand still as their lips molded together, the kiss an explosion of pent-up emotions that had been lurking beneath the surface. It was heated, fierce, and chaotic, a tumultuous clash of desire and resentment. A fiery story of two souls hard in the head, thirsty for love clashing together to maintain their pride. But someone will have to melt first. Who will it be?

Looking for the most handsome being on Earth?,Go for him . Looking for the most sexy guy on Earth?"Go for him . The guy that ladies drilled for, It's him.. Handsome but dangerous..he is the one. Seth Johnson,the handsome demon.. that's his nickname. The only truant that will caused trouble anywhere you see him.. Cross his lane, you are dead.. But even with all this these,he is the most brilliant student in his college..he never pay attention during lessons hours..is either he is in the bathroom having sex with his girlfriend or in the canteen.. But he is the best at everything concerning academic even no academic. His parents are divorced.. giving him free asses to do anything he wished to. Seth comes to school twice a week, those two days are always hot as a result of his prank and how girls are fighting over his dick.. Trouble everyday.. He just takes pleasure seeing students fighting over him. And then comes the heroin,her name is Pinky.. Beautiful, sexy and cute.. She behaves exactly like Seth... She don't care what people think about her .all she is interested in is to leave her life to the fullest.. When she came to wisdom academy and see how girls were dieing for Seth.. She decided not to act like them.. What happened when seth took an interest in getting Pinky in his bed.. What happened when two of Seth's friends fell in love with Pinky.. Who will she chose!!! Seth...the handsome demon!!! "Henry...!!! Kings!!!!

Ethan Francis is a professional photographer. He is good looking, tall, sharp-featured, well built, the balanced weight, and intelligent. He was the man, any woman would say yes to. And also the man, for all the wannabe models and the supermodels to be. Arthur Perry is the managing director of his father’s construction company. He is soon to be CEO. He is smart, talented, handsome, and respectful. He has a beautiful wife, Emily Watt, and a lovely daughter, Amity Perry. He has the perfect family. Or that is what his father defined as perfect for him.When the college sweethearts meet after years in an inevitable situation, they find themselves second-guessing their life choices.Read the complete story to know about their choices.