You Re So Old Jokes One Liners

I had been married to Lucius Martin for three years, and in all that time, there was never a shortage of women around him. Each time he brought another woman home, he would give me a necklace worth a fortune. In just three short years, I had accumulated ninety-nine necklaces. When Lucius fastened the hundredth necklace around my neck, I no longer cried or made a scene. Because this time, the woman he cheated with was my own older sister, the one who had beaten and scolded me since we were children. The man I loved most joined hands with the person I hated most to torment me together. At that moment, my heart finally died. This time, I took the initiative and walked up to Lucius, placing a house purchase contract into his hands. "As long as you sign this," I said, "you can do whatever you want with her." A flicker of surprise crossed his eyes, but in the end, he signed without hesitation. For the first time ever, he even leaned down and gently kissed my cheek. "Good girl," he murmured. "You've finally learned to behave." I personally opened the car door for him and watched as he hurried off toward my sister. When the car disappeared completely from sight, I let out a long breath. Then I reached beneath the documents and pulled out the paper hidden there—a divorce agreement.

To celebrate my mom's birthday, I fly back from abroad. At the same time, I plan to meet my fiancé, Kylo Winston, whom I have never met before, to discuss calling off the engagement. Unexpectedly, the custom cake I ordered for the special occasion gets knocked over. Kylo's childhood sweetheart, Nora Cullen, even falsely accuses me of dirtying her limited-edition designer bag. She screeches, "Who do you think you are? How dare you get engaged to Kylo? I'm his real wife! As long as you kneel and beg for mercy and say you're a worthless good-for-nothing, I'll let you off. Otherwise, I'll let you have a taste of what the Winston family of Silverlake is capable of!" I look at the ruined cake in my hands and smile frostily. What perfect timing. I'm planning to break off my engagement with Kylo anyway. So, I dial his mother's number and say, "I just heard the Winston family has two future daughters-in-law. Is that true?"

Synopsis Katherine McQueen's world shattered when her father borrowed from Massimo Hollingsworth, a ruthless New York billionaire who commands the fearsome Hollingsworth dynasty. When Massimo arrived to collect his due, a tragic accident left him in a coma. Desperate and cornered, Katherine was forced into a marriage she never wanted. His powerful relatives plotted his death, certain he wouldn’t survive, eager to erase her as well by throwing her out once she becomes a widow. But Massimo did survive. When he awakened, the ice in his gaze was nothing compared to the fury in his heart. He recognized Katherine as the daughter of the man who orchestrated his accident. Hatred replaced reason. Cruelty became his weapon. “I heard you might be pregnant with my child already? Abort it. I don’t want a child from your wretched bloodline.” Devastated, Katherine fled, building a new life far from his shadow. But seven years later, fate played its cruel hand again. At a bustling amusement park, her brilliant young son, a boy who looked like a miniature Massimo, pointed to a man on stage. “Mom, why does that man look so much like me?” “Because he’s your uncle. But remember, never cross his path. He’s dangerous… he even threatened me while I carried you.” Yet her son was no fool. Taking matters into his own hands, he wrote a letter to Massimo. "You are my dad, but you terrified my mother while she was pregnant with me. What kind of father does that make you? I hate that I look so much like you. But guess what? I’ve come to stay and suffocate you.”

On our wedding night, my fiancé's best friend barged into our room for the third time, claiming a wedding prank. Having had enough, I warned Sam Whitman that if we didn't consummate our marriage that night, it was as good as over. He glanced at my half-unbuttoned dress and dismissed my words as a tantrum. Then Candace Lombard stormed in for the ninth time, ripped off the covers, and livestreamed our intimate moments. Sam merely pushed me aside and told me to be understanding. She climbed into our bed, smirking as she claimed the spot between us. "Wedding night prank? I get it," I grinned, leaning into her livestream camera. "Alright, everyone, fire up those donations! I'm about to let my husband take a mistress live. Let's make it a show!"

On my son, William Lewis' birthday, I secretly visit the learning center he studies at in hopes of giving him a surprise. But when I tell the teacher that I'm Will's father, the latter frowns in response. "You say you're Will's father?" I nod, feeling a little displeased. Although my wife, Amelia Garrett, is the one driving William to and from the learning center, there's absolutely no reason for the teacher to doubt me like this. But suddenly, the teacher smiles brightly at me and tells me he'll bring William with him soon. As I watch him walk through the door, I decide to not take this matter to heart. The next thing I know, the teacher reappears with two burly guys flanking him. "That's the one! He intends to kidnap children from my class!"

There's a month to Angela Thompson's wedding, but she's no longer sure whether to proceed with it. The reason for her doubts? Her fiancé, Carl Swain, wants to have a child with his good friend's widow, Lucy Hogg. Carl says, "Keith was my best friend. He died so suddenly, leaving Lucy alone in this world. She tried to take her life a few times, you know. Maybe having a child will help her get past this." Angela can't understand it. She says, "Lucy can adopt or marry someone else if she wants a child. She can even go to a sperm bank abroad if she wants! Why do you have to be the one to have the child with her?"

Just as she’s starting her new life in Las Vegas, she gets an urgent call to return home to Atlanta. Deila Barbson could be stubborn, witty…among other things but she wasn’t the rogue her family thought her to be so she answered with equal urgency oblivious to what awaited her— her past. She’s faced with the person that’s haunted her beautiful nightmares everyday for two years. Betrayed by her heart, she found herself running again from whom she still longed for as the very air she breaths. Breathing was as difficult as commitments. Would she stand unbroken or she melt under his touch? Time they said healed every wound so why did his heart still bleed at the sight of the woman that left him shattered sixteen months ago? Hard-headed as he was, James Martin felt open as if it were yesterday he got stood up on his planned proposal dinner. He wanted answers, from her, from himself; why didn’t he feel anger towards her for breaking his heart? Why was his heart still thudding with hope at the sight of her? Why did Deila still unman him as if he wasn’t the macho CEO that intimidated even the Mayor? And most importantly, why did she return? Behind the unwilling woman and broken man was the dark secret both their families shared. What would be keeping them apart? Their ego? Or the family secret? Warning: This book contains mature words and sexual encounters that aren't suitable for readers under the age of 18.

"My life is yours, Esther, my heart belongs to you. You can do with it as you wish." ******* Two species are fighting for Dominance. Werewolves and vampires. Werewolves are under the protection of Dominic, the immortal lycan with an untraceble scent. Princess Esther is the only vampire who can trace the elusive Dominic's scent, because she is his mate. So, she has been given a task of finding him and killing him. Without Dominic, the werewolves would be vulnerable. Dominic needs to get rid of Esther to survive and continue to protect the werewolf species against vampires.

After suffering all kinds of infertility treatment, Mango was finally pregnant with Nathaniel’s child. But it turned out another woman had already conceived Nathaniel’s child for 5 months. Just after claimed her pregnancy, she was kidnapped by Nathaniel’s bodyguard and almost died in the fire he set. It was universally acknowledged that she was dead. But that’s not true. After five years, Mango came back to Nathaniel’s side as a famous international car designer seeking revenge. Except for a different title, she also had a different face which looked more gorgeous and a different identity, mom. Her son Zion, a four-year-old boy, who shared the same beautiful almond-shaped eyes with Nathaniel was much more mentally mature than the kids of his age and also sought revenge for Nathaniel. However, revenge wasn’t the main purpose of them coming back...

Under the same roof with someone you find insanely attractive? Your supposed stepbrother? Sweet boy, bad boy all in one, horny devil for only you? count me in. ---------- She grew up beside him. Their parents got married. Best friends. Partners in crime. Practically family. But then… his older brother came home. And now her best friend’s house and new home doesn’t feel the same. Not with him in it. Nicolas, Tall, tattooed, and infuriatingly mysterious. He’s the boy who missed the wedding, the other brother she never met, the man who makes her heart race and her mind spin. But He’s also her best friend’s older brother. Her father's new step son. Her not so stepbrother. Off-limits. Or at least… he was supposed to be.