you re so old jokes one liners

25 years ago, a maternity nurse secretly switched me out for her daughter. Unfortunately for her, my six-year-old brother saw this and secretly switched me back. 25 years later, the maternity nurse comes knocking with her actual daughter by her side. She accuses me, the heiress of Crawford Group, of being an impostor. The company's janitor starts insulting me and insinuates that my lipstick is a cheap imitation. Even my boyfriend humiliates me with her. "And here I thought you were the heiress of the Crawford family. You can't even compare to a hair on Pammy's head!" When the DNA test results are out, everyone is stunned. "That wretch bewitched me, Lori! Please forgive me—give me another chance!" my boyfriend cries. I look at him icily. "Another chance to do what? To clean the toilets?"

All is fair in love, war and Business. Is it though? Grace never had it easy when it came to life. First she had to deal with her parents trying rip each other's head off. Her mother finally manages to take her away and escapes the man she called her father. But things take a new turn when a few years later, she witnesses her mother's death. She is left completely heartbroken and alone. She finally decides to pick her self up and stand back on her feet. But will she be able to carry herself after she lands a new job at a place she never expected, with a boss who is ready to walk all over her? Will things go the way she wanted them to or does fate has its part to play? ---------------------------------------------------- Her body jerked as she was pulled inside the office by his strong hand clutching her arms and within a second she found herself pinned against the wall, caged in the devil's arm. “What the..” her words were silenced by Aston's lips smashing against her own for a furious kiss. Time seemed to stand still as their lips molded together, the kiss an explosion of pent-up emotions that had been lurking beneath the surface. It was heated, fierce, and chaotic, a tumultuous clash of desire and resentment. A fiery story of two souls hard in the head, thirsty for love clashing together to maintain their pride. But someone will have to melt first. Who will it be?

Even in the modern time, she was given for marriage without her consent. Her father being so selfishness, also dragged his family along into his messy shit. As always, a marriage where a lady is been forced to, must have no love at all. Irrespective of the fact she was married to one of the richest man, she wasn't happy and their marriage lacked alot. In the quest to either grow their marriage or get a divorce after the contract was about coming to an end, the couple, fell in the uncast spells of one another.

Looking for the most handsome being on Earth?,Go for him . Looking for the most sexy guy on Earth?"Go for him . The guy that ladies drilled for, It's him.. Handsome but dangerous..he is the one. Seth Johnson,the handsome demon.. that's his nickname. The only truant that will caused trouble anywhere you see him.. Cross his lane, you are dead.. But even with all this these,he is the most brilliant student in his college..he never pay attention during lessons hours..is either he is in the bathroom having sex with his girlfriend or in the canteen.. But he is the best at everything concerning academic even no academic. His parents are divorced.. giving him free asses to do anything he wished to. Seth comes to school twice a week, those two days are always hot as a result of his prank and how girls are fighting over his dick.. Trouble everyday.. He just takes pleasure seeing students fighting over him. And then comes the heroin,her name is Pinky.. Beautiful, sexy and cute.. She behaves exactly like Seth... She don't care what people think about her .all she is interested in is to leave her life to the fullest.. When she came to wisdom academy and see how girls were dieing for Seth.. She decided not to act like them.. What happened when seth took an interest in getting Pinky in his bed.. What happened when two of Seth's friends fell in love with Pinky.. Who will she chose!!! Seth...the handsome demon!!! "Henry...!!! Kings!!!!

Ethan Francis is a professional photographer. He is good looking, tall, sharp-featured, well built, the balanced weight, and intelligent. He was the man, any woman would say yes to. And also the man, for all the wannabe models and the supermodels to be. Arthur Perry is the managing director of his father’s construction company. He is soon to be CEO. He is smart, talented, handsome, and respectful. He has a beautiful wife, Emily Watt, and a lovely daughter, Amity Perry. He has the perfect family. Or that is what his father defined as perfect for him.When the college sweethearts meet after years in an inevitable situation, they find themselves second-guessing their life choices.Read the complete story to know about their choices.

"Ausha would hunt you down whether you become a rogue or stay here, but I can protect you if you come with me." “Em...” I had just one option left—to leave with the bloodthirsty Alpha. Damn it. I was so fucked. After events that might make Danica’s stay in the Phoenix Pack her death trap, she must accept becoming the cold-hearted Alpha of the North’s mate and Luna for protection before the Alpha, who rejected her, comes for her life. Will her ruthless nature help her survive and stand strong through the dark days to come? Will she be able to earn the love and trust of the hole-hearted Alpha of the North, whose heart is guarded against love?

"Everyone knew she was his." ~ Ava and Lucas have been best friends since Lucas saw Ava at the playground when she was 4 years old. She is innocent and shy where as Lucas is more intimidating to everyone other than Ava. Despite this, they do everything together. Where ever one went, the other followed. Never going more than a day without seeing each other, it's safe to say they were inseparable. Now at 16, Ava is forced to spend a year in public school after being home-schooled all her life. How is Lucas going to react with all the new people she is going to meet, especially being so possessive over Ava. However, even though they are best friends, Lucas is keeping a secret from Ava. A big one. Lucas is a werewolf. And Ava is his mate.

"Doesn't it bother you?" I blurted out right there and then, having been asking myself that question since the night we slept together. I was curious, but I'd been obviously avoiding him. "What? That you're the heir to the Siren-" "That I'm trans," I said. I could care less about what he think of me being a Sirenio by blood. "T-That I'm a trans...man," "Does it bother you that I'm bisexual?" he asked me. I hadn't expected that response. Not when I'm having mixed feelings about all of this. "Does it?" he probed, closing what's left of the space between. His scent and warmth envelopes me as I'm caged between him and the sink. I shook my head. "Use your words, Miles," he said running his finger over my bottom lip. I shuddered at the sensation it brought to my body. "You were so good with those, that night," I sucked in a sharp breath. I looked away, and his touch disappeared immediately. "It was a mistake," I whispered, my heart racing. "What...happened was a-" "I don't do mistakes, Miles," Mr Stark said guiding my eyes back to his. "You should know that by now," I let out a shaky breath when his thumb found my bottom lip again. "Does it bother you that I want to fuck you right now?"

When a dare goes too far, 18-year-old Sophia finds herself in a compromising position with a stranger. Weeks later, her mother introduces him as her billionaire stepfather, shattering Sophia's world. But the chemistry between Sophia and her stepfather is undeniable despite the age gap. Then one fateful night, they let their desire take over. Will Sophia confront her past mistakes, her feelings for her stepfather, and the lies that threaten to tear her family apart? Or will one careless night forever define her future?

Currently being hunted, that's what Zenah's situation right now. If Yvrozz will find her saying the words 'Found you', her life will turned upside down, meaning she'll be in a mess, her life will become a horror and her freedom will vanished. Yvrozz gave her two weeks to hide, either she will flew to another country or stay. If he will find her and hug her uttering the word 'Found You', the playing tag will be over and she will be married with him. Can she hide completely? or accept their marriage willingly?