you're so old jokes one liners

Devi Cloud Valentino and Shemaia Rey Ocampo ay magkasintahan pero hindi boto ang ina ni Devi sa anak ng kanilang katulong. Dahil sa isang trahedya ay napilitang pumili ni Shemaia kung sino ang mas pipiliin niya, ang pera kapalit ang makipaghiwalay si Shemaia sa kanyang kasintahan o ipagpatuloy ang pag-ibig kahit may buhay na mawawala at yun ang kanyang ina.

Siya si Jake Andrew Smith-the type of guy every woman would want to be around. Gwapo pero pilyo, playboy at habulin ng mga babae pero ndi na muling nagseryoso dahil minsan nang niloko. After his girlfriend cheated on him he became cold and heartless. Right after the break-up, Jake also witnessed his father's death which added to the wound he is currently coping. Jake promised himself that he would never fall for women again and he became indifferent and arrogant. Hannah Suarez, mabait, independent at seryoso sa buhay. Never siyang nagkaroon ng interes sa mga lalaki dahil pag-aaral muna ang inaatupag nya. She's the kind of woman who would rather stay at home instead of partying or going out. Two opposite souls met and they were instructed to treat each other as siblings. Jake wanted to prove na di sya loser kaya ang galit nya sa ex nya ay kay Hannah nya ibinunton. However, just as everything seems to be going perfectly for Jake and thought he won by bullying her, he soon find himself falling in-love with her so called little sister. What will he do now? Will his secret ruin everything? Will he cross the line or let the destiny decide?

Second chances were given to those people who are willing to sacrifice and get your trust again. Its not easy to give trust again and forgive people. However, it is the only way to set your heart free from the past. This story is about the life of a girl named Urea. She was a leader of a newly elected gang girl group in their place. During the celebration, she and her group encountered the Ace's; a male group that is also a part of their organization. They were busy in their own life when Urea met Zero (leader of Ace's) in a bar. He asked if he can court Urea and she agreed. The next day, Urea met Dupe (member of Ace's) in a seashore and she remember something that changed her life in the past. Will she try to forget tha past for the sake of her future? Will she forgive Dupe of what he'd done before? Will she gave him another chance?

A ruthless man, an unyielding soul, and a wrongful entanglement… Four years ago, she had sent him to prison. It was only after he was executed that a look of obvious relief spread across her face. Four years later, he pulled her into hell. She was humiliated before his eyes, yet his hatred still burned high. As part of his cunningly-devised retribution, he was going to overwhelm her bit by bit, prudently and slowly luring her into his web of vengeance. To Edward Levin, Vivian Carraway would always be his possession, but it seemed like things would not go as he wished...

Tahimik na naninirahan sa probensya si Alexa habang pinamamahalan niya ang kanilang negosy sa lungsod. Nakatira lamang siya sa isang simpleng bahay kasama ang kanyang dalawang kapatid. Isa lamang siyang simpleng babae at walang kaartihan sa kanyang sarili. Ibang iba sa kanyang kakambal na Si Alexis. Alexis are brat, she gets everything she wants. She always wear a sexy dress and clothes, and all man looking at her they like her.

Opportunist-ganito ang tingin ng half brother ng fiancé niya kay Raquel. At para maiwasan ang lalaking gustong sirain ang nalalapit niyang kasal, pumunta siya sa San Ruiz. Doon niya nakilala si Drake, ang lalaking inakusahan niya ng akyat-bahay. Hindi maitatanggi ni Raquel ang atraksyong nararamdaman para kay Drake. Hindi niya napigilan ang sarili na mahalin ang lalaki kahit na ito ay isang pagkakamali. Nang lumipad palabas ng bansa si Drake ay nangako ito sa kanya na babalik. Pero hindi nito tinupad ang pangako sa kanya. Bumalik siya ng Maynila at handang magtapat sa fiancé niya tungkol sa kasalanang nagawa nang muling magkrus ang landas nila ni Drake. Nalaman niyang may kinalaman ito sa taong gustong sirain ang pangarap niya.

This is BOOK 1 for the TRILOGY: The Devil, the Mercenary & the SaintNicholai swear not to love again. His life was on auto pilot after Amanda, her first love died. Then faith played with him one crazy night, he met Cassie, a young beautiful angelic innocent girl. Now, he is in battle whether to keep his promise to his first love or break it to be with a woman he can't keep his hands and mind off with. He created a wall to guard his heart but then he met her. They were united by one crazy night, can they stop from falling to each other. Both can't take their mind from each other, both can't deny the attraction they have. Can they stay together when the past holds him hostage? This is a roller coaster story will give you one hell of a ride. When can he finally stake his claim and say angel you're mine.Book 1: Angel you're MineBook 2: Save MeBook 3: Broken Vows

BOOK ONE:“You can fight me all you want, Grace, but you can't ignore what you feel for me forever. If neither of us reject each other the bond only grows stronger. You feel it don't you, your need for me," He calmly said, inching his way toward me. I glared at him, the sound of his voice had me pooling in my. I hated that, hated that all it took was his voice to turn me on, "You're not my mate. I refuse to believe it!" Was all I said before I stormed out of there.__________________________After a drunken one night stand with a stranger, Grace Evans wakes up with a note left at her bedside. The last words of the note both startle and confuse her especially since she saw her mate die in front of her very eyes. What happens when the mysterious stranger now comes to claim her? Will she give in to him or will she reject him, killing his wolf and breaking his heart?

I'm a gloomy loner guy. I prefer not to associates with others. I have no friends, I'm nobody, lack of self-confidence, an introvert. My life is a mess. I'm scared, I don't know why I'm like this. I'm tired physically, emotionally, everything! I wanna end up this sh*t! Loneliness doesn't kill, but sometimes I wish it did! Until I met her, she changed my dark side. She became a light to me. But one day, I never thought she would suddenly disappear in my arms. I can't imagine losing the person who give the way for my future. She has been my inspiration to move forward in life.

I'll bear your pains, you simply bear with me... “Shusshhhhhh, it's okay, everything’s gonna be okay Maya, just relax, I am not here to harm you, I’m here to protect you, trust me, just this once, trust me baby, I’ll sort all this for you.” His magical voice caressed her soul and she began sobbing more like she wanted to empty her sorrows into him. “I... I am not a s*ut, I...I am not a p*rn star, I just wanted to work... I...,” she continued sobbing. Maya and Tazz Jindal are in love, but like all others who are truly in love, they have to pass the litmus test before their love can reach its pinnacle of success. After her sister met with a tragic end at the hands of merciless murderers because of her impending marriage, Maya was shattered and was left with no other option but to do what she did… Hurt the love of her life, Tazz Jindal, that left Tazz completely broken, shattered, humiliated, and emotionally disturbed. After getting treated for depression, Tazz finally makes a comeback, with an intention to find and avenge his humiliation caused by Maya. They meet, they play the game of hate and love, finally when all is sorted and Maya eventually lets go of her fear and decides to spend the rest of her life with Tazz, she comes face to face with another ugly truth that fate unfolds before her, and once again, the reason is Tazz Jindal. She is shocked when she realizes that Tazz had played a dirty game with her to avenge her, what Tazz was not aware of was the fact that the ace of the card was still Maya’s sleeve - their daughter Jia Amidst hatred, revenge, family, and love, will they be able to unite as one?