Your Regrets Mean Nothing To Me Novels & Stories

Tori’s voice was barely a whisper. “It was a mistake.” I exhaled heavily. “But you’re unhappy with your marriage.” “I’ve lived with that for the past three years, surely I can do that for a few more.” “Really? You’re going to do this?” “I ask again. How much to make you leave and keep quiet?” “I don’t want your goddamned money. You’re going to regret this.” She picked up her bag and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. I had to hold myself back from screaming my lungs out. Lately, I found myself doing things and regretting them immediately.

"I am sorry for what happened today. I feel so guilty I cannot even sleep. That is why I called." "I know how hard it must have been, especially for someone like you who stays out of trouble and keeps to herself." "I am really sorry about Bessie. She is not okay in the head, and I promise I have nothing going on with her." "I honestly do not regret holding you at the office or how close we got, but I am sorry if it made you uncomfortable." "I was upset about it earlier, but not anymore. Still, I meant what I said. I am not interested in anything romantic with you."

For a moment, the muffled bass from upstairs seemed to fade, and all I could hear was the frantic, heavy sound of my own pulse pounding in my ears. Then I looked away, breaking his gaze. “You don’t understand,” I muttered, the words meant more for myself than for him. He tilted his head, considering me. “Maybe not. But I understand what happens when you lose something you didn’t think you’d care about until it’s already gone. I know that particular flavor of regret.”

None of it means anything anymore. With him daring to cheat and have sex with another woman behind my back, it means that everything he ever said was just a lie. Either to cover up his filth or to keep me from suspecting anything. Ouch, my stomach. It feels like it's being squeezed. The baby in my stomach must know that its mother is hurting, which is why it is reacting like this. I've lost count of how many tears have fallen. And I've lost count of how many times they've changed positions. But I'm still here, letting the cold air hug me.

Then, she tightened her arms around me. "Of course I do. We've been together for ten years. If we don't get married, what else would we do? Why are you overthinking this?" Yeah. Ten years. But the words carved into that metal box kept flashing through my mind. [The greatest regret of my life is that I couldn't marry you.] Natasha let go of me and immediately started talking excitedly about tomorrow's wedding rehearsal. She even started imitating the pastor reciting the vows. "For richer or poorer… In sickness and in health…

I needed to say this, “This morning…” I felt Gideon tense under my hands, and I knew if I looked at him he would be glaring. He didn’t want me to speak of it, but I had to. “If it… If it was you…,” I stumbled through the thoughts that had been repeating in my head all day, “I can’t regret it. I refuse to regret it.” I raised my head and saw his stare fixed onto my face as I spoke. “No one could feel what that felt like and regret it. It was… something bigger than either of us,” I knew this made me sound like a hopeless romantic, but I just needed to know that he’d felt it too.

Words failed me. Baron sighed, opening the car door and sliding in. He started the engine and the hum of it filled the silence. “Yeah,” he said, keeping his eyes on the road, “you wanted something you can’t have. And you’re hurting yourself for it. That’s the worst part. The truth is, there’s nothing left for you to fight for here.” I buried my face in my hands, trying to hold back the hot sting of tears. My regrets pressed in from every side, heavier than the pain in my side, heavier than my broken pride. Every word Charles had said replayed, echoing, hammering inside me.

"When you retired back then, I thought it was such a shame. It's just like how you felt when I retired, too." Maria looked up. "Why?" Robin sighed. "You loved that man so much, you gave up everything. The home you grew up in, the cello you had practiced for years. And now, look at how it all ended. I just feel sorry for you." Maria lowered her eyes. The steam rising from the coffee blurred her vision. Her tone remained calm, without a trace of regret. "I loved him plainly and wholeheartedly, and gave everything without holding back. I have no regrets now that I have to leave. That's enough for me. As for those who hurt me, I believe they'll get what they deserve eventually."

I did not regret many things in my life. Regretting them means that I would have made a different choice, gone through a different path than the one I had right now. But I would have done it again. And again. Without a single thought. “You knew they were together?” Garett’s wide eyes and grin should have set me off. And perhaps, in another world, they would have. But I didn’t care. “And you said nothing?” I stood from my seat. “If that is all—”

But every time she closed them, the image of Sean smiling at Patricia haunted her. Disappointed? That word was too small for what she felt. This was the total annihilation of her dignity as a woman. Niana reached for her phone on the nightstand. Her fingers trembled as she searched for a contact. But she stopped. She couldn't call anyone right now. She had to think. She had to be strong, even if her heart was shattered beyond repair. She looked at the laptop again. The video on the screen was paused on Patricia’s face, smiling triumphantly at the camera, as if the woman knew that one day Niana would see this.