"No" I jerked his hand off my shoulder and began walking away as fast as I could.
"So that's it?" I heard Travian muttered but I chose to ignore him.
"You said you wouldn't hate me" He added and for some reason, my feet got stuck on the ground.
My heart and mind was in a complete mess and I wished I didn't leave my home seeking solace in a bar.
"But you ran away the moment no eyes were watching"
"And so what?" I barked, turned around and faced him.
"I said I won't hate you but that never meant I will stick around and let you ruin me" I wasn't in my right mind and whatever I was saying was my emotions controlling me.
"Ruin you? When did I ever say that? You know it better than I do, how much I've always wanted you" Travian began counting strides forward, closing the distance between us.
"But you never loved me" I whispered, heartbroken, "and even if you do, that doesn't mean you'd be any different" I took three steps back, evading his closeness.
"Soren" Travian called as he reached out for me, I pulled away evading his touch.
"Don't please" I begged in a choking voice, "don't make this even harder and more complicated for me...let's pretend we don't know each other " I didn't wait for him to agree or disagree, I turned and ran away.
I knew it was a stupid idea to leave the house, and the stupidest to ask him to pretend we don't know each other but I've said it anyways and that's better that way for us.
*****************
After what happened last night, I barely slept and now, I feel like shit forced to roam the daylight.
I walked back to the counter after serving a customer, Luke had his eyes on me like he was trying to make sense of my situation.
"You look exhausted!" He pointed out and I just nodded.
"Want to grab some rest? I can let you slide off for today" He proposed.
I thought about it but then, I shouldn't accept it. Luke has been nothing but kind to me, way more attentive and I don't want to use his goodness for my own gain. I did this to myself and I must face it alone.
I forced a smile, "don't sweat it, I'll be fine.
I went inside, poured myself a glass of fresh water and gulped it in a go.
Feeling better, I carried myself back outside to wait in case there's a new customer. There, I spotted Travian and the lady from the other day.
They both walked into the building, chatting as she giggled. Even if I wanted to ignore it, I couldn't miss the way their hands were wrapped with each other, and how she kept caressing Travian's arm like it was very normal.
I am no fool not to understand the situation, it's either she's he's girl and their dating or it.
I felt a lump in my chest as I came to the conclusion he really isn't for me and he's with someone better.
I guess she isn't scared of love and she's better off with him than me.
Travian glances at my direction and our gaze meets, I quickly evade his stares, forcing down my saliva down my throat.
They went ahead and took their seats. With a deep breath, I walked up to them and forced a smile when the lady's gaze met mine.
"Oh, it's you again," she chirped.
I nodded, "yes, it's me...can I have your order please?"
I felt Travian's hot gaze on me, willing me to look at him but I didn't give in. I want to avoid him as much as I can.
"Cappuccino for me" she said and went about texting.
I held my breath, getting myself ready to face Travian. When I was sure I could take whatever, I turned and faced him, trying to keep the professional smile on my face even though I couldn't.
"Can I have your order?"
"Black coffee and extra sugar" he said, his eyes never leaving mine.
I noted it in my small booklet and turned to excuse myself when he said,
"Can we talk? Please!"
Chaos, that's all I felt inside. The urge to want to say yes but I stopped myself from saying it.
"I don't have time for leisure, I'm sorry" with that said, I turned and walked away.
I handed the orders to Luke who went ahead to make it. While I waited, I couldn't stop myself from feeling hot, like there was a fire inside me that way trying to burn itself to life.
I needed some air, some space to get myself back in control.
"I'll be right back" I said and quickly walked away. As soon as I saw the restroom door feet away, I fastened my pace and rushed in.
I reached for the sink, poured water and washed my face. It was helping, a bit though.
After I was done washing my face, I pulled out a tissue and patted it dry. Then I raised my head and saw my reflection in the mirror.
Damn, I was disorientated and I fear that my days of peace of mind are long buried in the past.
“I didn’t recognize the person staring back—just a cracked reflection of the peace I once hoped to find.”
"Why the heck will you choose to come here of all places?" I cried in silence.
I left for a new town for a reason, peace and a new beginning, that's all I ever wanted. But Travian doesn't seem to comply with it, that's why he had to follow me, chasing me around like my most desired predicament that I long for yet wish for it to stay far away.
While I stood there lost in my thoughts, the door creaked open and someone walked in.
I glanced at the mirror straight to the door and was once again left astonished to see Travian standing there, staring back at me with an even more determined face.
"Shit!" I cursed under my breath, my head ran wide trying to think of a way to escape him, again!
I held my chopsticks, nudged the grilled pork on my plate, and let it fall back again with a soft thud. The smoky aroma curled toward me, but it did nothing to stir my appetite. I stared blankly, my chest hollow, weighed down by an overwhelming desire to vanish from this place.Across the table, Luke, Travian, and Tessa were still chatting, their voices blurring into meaningless noise. I barely registered the words anymore. But as Tessa went on, I realized—she was a bragger. And her favorite subject? Herself and Travian. Always circling back to their shared past like some story she couldn't let die. The smirk on her face, the glint in her eyes... God, I must’ve sighed in my head a million times, each breath tighter than the last."But I guess we are coming back… together," she said, smiling like an old fool who still believed in fairy tales.My head jerked up at her words, my eyes locking on Travian’s face. I searched for something—anything—that resembled truth. The kind of truth that
I spent the entire shift barely keeping myself from unraveling. My composure clung to me by threads, each minute dragging with the weight of everything I was pretending not to feel. Every order I took, every smile I forced, every polite nod—it was all part of the exhausting performance I’d grown far too skilled at. But inside, I was a storm. A tangled mess of regret, guilt, and something else I couldn’t quite name.The second the clock hit closing time, I didn’t waste a breath. I grabbed my things with urgency and turned on my heels, desperate to vanish before anyone could stop me, before my resolve cracked open and spilled across the floor.But I wasn’t fast enough.“Leaving already?”Luke’s voice floated toward me, smooth and casual. I turned to see him approaching, tugging off his apron and folding it in his hand. There was something warm in his eyes—gentle, maybe even hopeful.I gave a short nod, paired with a noncommittal hum, already pivoting away when he added, almost uncertain
I could live with myself. I could carry the weight of every bad decision, every reckless word, every broken promise. But the one thing I couldn't live with—the one that gnawed at me like a quiet, relentless ache—was the thought that I had pushed him away. That I had driven him out of my life with my own hands.Now, I’m right back where I started. Back to being the version of myself I had worked so hard to grow out of—quiet, withdrawn, locked inside an invisible shell, too scared to peek through the cracks in the walls I so carefully built for protection. Walls that once kept me safe... but now only keep the world out. And him, especially him.Travian never came back after that night. Not in the way I needed him to. Everything between us dissolved, like ink running in water, until our connection—something that once felt inevitable—became almost unrecognizable. It was like watching a flower slowly wither, too far gone for water to save it.Our relationship—if you could even still call i
"excuse me" I didn't know what to feel and how to feel, but what I do know is sitting here wasn't the best idea so I carried myself to the restroom before any other theme could ask me what's going on.I paced back and forth, unable to understand what was going on. The door creaked open and Travian walked in and I lost it"What the hell was that?" I snapped, clearly angry and dissatisfied with what he did."Why the hell did you give him the go ahead? Did I ever say I want to date him?" I kept on talking as the situation seems to be sitting on me."Why are you so offended? Would you rather I kissed you before your crush and tell him you are mine?" Travian barked, visibly with the same level of energy as me."I'm not fucking yours, you hear me?" I restored. A wicked smirk appeared on his lips, he took slowly steady steps towards me and out of instinct, I retracted my steps behind."Are you sure about that?" He kept on approaching, and I kept on moving behind until there was no more space
The weekend came and went so fast, it almost felt like it was being chased away by something invisible.It slipped through my fingers like fine sand, each moment dissolving quicker than the last—but every second spent with Travian lingered in my memory like a tender whisper I didn’t want to let go of.I never knew life could be this serene, this breathtakingly simple. Everything felt softer. My steps were lighter. My thoughts, clearer. It was a new kind of peace—one I never knew I needed until now. And God, I wish it could stay this way forever.I reached for the already-prepared cup of coffee resting on the service tray. The warmth radiating from the cup seeped into my palms, but it wasn’t just the coffee that had me feeling warm. My mood was floating on a cloud, and I could feel it spreading to everyone around me like an unspoken melody. The customers smiled more. Conversations sounded lighter. The entire cafe felt...beautiful.Maybe that's the Travian effect.“You look so lit,” Luk
Thirty minutes have gone through the movie and I'm already feeling bored... well, not exactly bored, but something felt missing. There was a hollow ache blooming inside me—strange and persistent. I wanted something, something more, and just leaning into Travian’s arms wasn’t enough to satisfy it. His warmth should’ve been comforting, grounding. But it wasn’t. Not this time.I pushed myself away from him gently, my hands pressing against his chest to create some space—maybe what I needed was distance, some air to breathe, a moment to think. But the second our bodies parted, it worsened. Like pulling away from him only made the craving stronger. My entire body rebelled against the space I tried to give it. It turns out I didn’t want to be away from him. I wanted to be closer. Much, much closer.Why? What was this odd, wild feeling that had suddenly surged from nowhere—unannounced, uninvited—and was now tormenting me without mercy?I leaned back into Travian’s arms, but this time, I didn