12 - Noticing

JUNE’S POV

Everything is easier when you keep your guard up.

The walls you build around yourself keep you safe but Adrien Hayes didn’t seem to care about mine.

“You’ve been quiet.” He spoke as we sat on the stairs.

“I’m always quiet.” I responded.

“Not like this, is it about what James said? Don’t let it get to you…” he started but I cut him off mid sentence.

“It’s not that deep, don’t read into it,” I assured him, reminding him and myself that this was a fake relationship.

“Are you always like this?” He faced me with concern in his eyes.

“Like what?” I responded and removed my hair clip from my hair, showing my curls off.

“Acting like you’re fine when you’re not. We don’t have to act every time you know?” He said.

“I know and I am fine, stop worrying.” I said, confused why he was worried in the first place.

He was different from what I thought at the beginning.

And I wasn’t sure if that made things easier or worse.

“Have you eaten today?” He suddenly asked.

“What?”

“Have you had anything to eat?” He repeated himself and I shook my head slightly.

“Let’s go find you something to eat.” He stood up and dragged me with him.

“Hold on, I need to do my hair.” I said.

“It looks better this way, highlights your eyes.” He said casually. 

How and why does he do that?

I pushed the thought away and packed up my hair.

We walked into the cafeteria with intertwined hands. He held my hand like it was natural, I held his like it was necessary.

He ordered a chicken sandwich and lemonade for me and a salad for himself.

“How did you get her to give us food?” I wondered aloud. The lunch lady was usually strict about the food rules.

“She’s an Arsenal fan and I told her you hadn’t eaten all day.” He shrugged his shoulders and began eating.

“How did you know I liked lemonade drinks?” I asked after taking a bite of the sandwich he got. It tasted great.

“I’ve seen you with it multiple times. A bright yellow bottle is not hard to miss with Miss curly hair and green eyes.” He responded with a smile.

The only thing I could let out was, “Oh.” Then I said, “You pay a lot of attention.” 

“I’m a striker, I always do.” He replied and I rolled my eyes in response.

We both ate in silence. 

I suddenly noticed how close we were when his arms brushed mine. 

“You look like you’re about to run away.” He said and I turned to face him.

“What?” I responded.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked.

“Nothing.” I replied shortly.

“That’s a lie, you looked like you were calculating something. Even I don’t look like that in maths classes.” He said, dabbing the corners of his mouth with a clean napkin.

I chuckled but didn’t respond and he didn’t push it.

My thoughts drifted back to Westbridge and Adrien’s dad, I didn’t know if I was going to bring it up or not.

“Eat,” he said, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I frowned, “I am”

“Properly.” 

We returned our empty trays and moved out.

“Thank you, for everything, I’ll be leaving now.” I said and walked out of the cafeteria. I could feel his eyes on my back as I walked out.

I moved to the parking lot and saw Jules talking to her driver.

“I’ve been looking for you, where were you?” She asked. I noticed a bruise on her arm.

“What happened to your arm? Are you hurt?” I asked as I observed the mark.

“My arm got caught in the door, that’s what I was telling Mr Jonathan,” she started. “But you, where have you been?” She repeated herself.

It doesn’t look like a door did that. I bit back my tongue.

“I was at the cafeteria.” I replied simply.

“Hmm is that why you smell of wood and lavender?” She smirked at me.

“Adrien was there.” I reluctantly said. It felt like a confession, it’s not like we did anything illegal but I knew my best friend. She would make it a big deal.

“Alone in the cafeteria with an athlete, I see you girl.” She winked at me. She inspected my neck and lips. 

“Jules.” I stared at her, appalled.

“Whattt?” She exaggerated. “I’m just playing.” 

I rolled my eyes.

“Bye Jules. See you next week.” I said and walked away. 

“I love you too!” She yelled from behind me.

I walked to the cafe and got to work.

After my shift, I noticed one of Mr Bennett’s grand children crying.

“Are you okay darling?” I went down on my knee to search the girl’s face.

“I got a C on my test.” Her tears fell from her face like droplets. That moment reminded me of myself.

“Aw it’s okay,” I pulled her into a hug. “You’ll do better on the next one, just study hard and if you do, grandpa will take you to the food court, okay?” I consoled her.

She stopped crying and handed me a small candy bar.

“Thank you, stop crying okay?” I wiped her face and took her to Mr Bennett.

“Thank you June. Been trying to console her since but I guess she wanted someone like her to do it.” He said with a small smile.

I waved goodbye and was about to leave when Mr Bennett spoke. “You’re a good kid June, and you’re going to be an even greater adult.” 

Mr Bennett rarely gave out compliments and this one warmed my heart.

“Thank you.” I said and left.

Later, as I lay in bed, I thought about the little girl. 

How she cried over a grade, how she felt better after I comforted her. 

I used to be like that before I learnt things don’t just get better because someone says it will.

I learned to keep things to myself. 

To stay in control, because when you can control the things around you, the things you can’t don’t  feel as loud.