I Can’t Stop Thinking About Him

Joshua’s POV

My mind wouldn’t stop racing as I stared out the window of my opulent room. The city lights flickered in the distance, but they barely registered. All I could think about was him.

Stanley.

His name alone echoed in my head like a song stuck on repeat. I kept replaying every moment we’d shared—especially that night, the night everything changed. The night that made me question everything.

But no matter how many times I relived it, something inside me still felt... wrong. Unsettled. As if I was standing at the edge of a cliff, trying not to fall.

I turned my eyes to my phone. My fingers hovered over the screen. Call him? Text him? Would he even want to hear from me?

Before I could make a choice, a sharp, sudden pain shot through my head—so intense it nearly knocked me off my feet. I gripped the windowsill for balance, breathing hard.

“What the hell is happening to me?”

I slid down to the floor, pressing my palm to my forehead. My heart was racing. My chest tightened like someone had chained it shut.

Was this a bond forming? Or something worse?

I’ve spent my entire life hiding. Pretending. Lying.

Lying about who I am. What I am.

Sure, the world knows me as Joshua—the powerful CEO, the polished billionaire who built an empire. That part wasn’t a lie.

But the rest?

I’m a wolf. An Alpha. Born to lead one of the largest and most powerful packs on the continent. And yet… I left.

I ran away from them. From the expectations. From the hate. I ran toward freedom. Toward the chance to finally live my truth.

My pack was full of homophobes—men and women who despised what they couldn’t understand. People who would rather tear you down than accept your truth.

I couldn't live like that. Not anymore.

And then… Stanley happened.

That kiss. That one kiss at the bar. It shattered every wall I had built around myself.

I felt it.

The pull. The connection. The undeniable spark that only a mate bond could bring. I knew he felt it too—it was written all over his face, in the way his eyes widened, the way his breath caught in his throat. He tried to hide it, but I saw it.

I felt it in my bones.

“Mr. Joshua, a letter for you!” a voice called from outside my door.

I tried to stand. My legs felt weak. Heavy. Still, I forced myself forward, each step harder than the last.

The moment I opened the door, everything hit me all at once.

Darkness.

Weightlessness.

The floor disappeared beneath my feet, and I collapsed onto the ground. My body felt like it didn’t belong to me anymore.

My chest pounded. My vision blurred. The world around me began to fade, like someone was dimming the lights inside my mind.

“W-what’s happening?” I whispered to no one.

I could hear voices—muffled, distant, like echoes underwater.

I tried to reach out. Tried to hold on.

But everything felt so far away.

So... void.

Was this the bond rejecting me?

Or was I breaking under the weight of the lies I swore I'd never live again?

The voices around me were getting louder now, but I still couldn’t make out the words. Just sounds. Shapes moving in the blur of my vision.

“Joshua? Joshua—can you hear me?”

A hand touched my shoulder. I flinched instinctively, my wolf rising to the surface out of fear, confusion, and desperation.

I tried to speak, but my throat was dry. My lips moved, but no words came out.

I was trapped—inside my own body, inside my own mind.

And the only face that came to me… was his.

Stanley.

That kiss, that night, that moment. It wasn’t just attraction. It wasn’t some accident I could shake off. It was a bond. A pull from the universe itself. And now, something was wrong—terribly wrong.

It felt like my body was rejecting everything else but him.

“Get him to the couch,” someone else said, more urgent this time. I was being lifted, carried, but it felt like floating through fog. My skin burned. My heart wouldn’t slow down. My wolf scratched beneath my skin, restless and angry.

I’d heard about this. The mate bond reacting violently when ignored—when one mate pulled away or denied the connection.

But why now?

Why this sudden crash?

Unless…

He’s in pain.

The realization hit me harder than the floor ever could. My heart clenched as if Stanley’s emotions were leaking into mine. It had to be him. Something must have happened. Something that was calling me through the bond like a desperate scream.

I sat up abruptly, sweat dripping from my forehead. My breathing was erratic, like I’d just been dragged back from drowning.

“Sir, you need to rest,” one of my guards said.

“I need… to see him,” I murmured, voice hoarse but determined. “I need to find Stanley.”

They looked at each other in confusion, but I didn’t care.

“I don’t care what meetings are scheduled today. Cancel everything,” I ordered, my voice gaining strength. “Get the car ready.”

“Mr. Joshua—”

“I said get the damn car ready!”

They flinched. I didn’t usually shout. But this wasn’t a normal day.

This wasn’t a normal feeling.

I stood, wobbling slightly, and reached for my phone. My hands were shaking. I pulled up Stanley’s contact—my thumb hovering over the call button.

But I hesitated.

What if he didn’t want to hear from me?

But… what if he needed me again?

What if what we had was just lust and not even love?

I tapped the screen.

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

No answer.

I clenched my jaw and ended the call. My wolf paced inside me, furious and restless.

“I’m coming to you, Stanley,” I whispered, staring at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot, tired, but filled with something I hadn’t felt in years.

Determination.

Hope.

Love.

Even if he pushed me away… even if he didn’t want this bond… I had to see him. I had to make sure he was okay. Because the truth was loud and clear in my heart now—

I wasn’t just in pain because of a bond.

I was in pain because I was falling for him.

And nothing—not the world, not my pack, not even fate—was going to stop me from finding him.