Alpha's Regret: Reclaiming His Gifted Luna

“I can't have two mates at the same time. I'm rejecting our bond. I want a divorce.”

Those three sentences, spoken by my mate, by the love of my life, shattered my heart and set me on the path to my destiny.

***

I give our dining room another critical look, making sure everything is in place. I want this to be perfect. Tonight is our third wedding anniversary.

Three years! I can hardly even believe it.

I want our memories of tonight to be the kind we look back on throughout our lifetime. Stories for the grandkids. I love the idea so much, I can't stop smiling.

As if on cue, I hear the crunch of my mate's boots on the path to our front door. Evander is a strict Alpha, often harsh, but he makes the same demands of himself that he expects from every member of the pack. Absolute punctuality is the least of it.

My heart sings as each step brings him closer to me. I’ve waited for this moment all day long! I can’t wait for him to see how much love I put into our celebration.

He opens the door and crosses the threshold, and my breath catches the same way it did three years ago on this very day – the day of our wedding. My Evander, my Alpha and King. My mate for life.

"Aurora," he says. There is something off in his voice, in his posture, and my bubble of bliss instantly bursts.

"Nalani woke up."

All the air whooshes out of my lungs at once, leaving me weak and shaking. Nalani. Evander's first mate. 

Three years ago, she was mysteriously poisoned and fell into a coma. The depth of her unconsciousness destroyed the mate bond she had with Evander, leaving the pack without a Luna. 

To everyone's shock – including my own – I became his second chance mate. As is so characteristic of him, upon learning of our match, Evander married me immediately. Through his decisive action, the pack had a Luna, the Alpha had a mate, and life went on as it should.

For three years, Nalani laid in a hospital bed, motionless and silent. But two days ago, she began to stir.

"She's back," my mate says, a tremble in his voice. "I felt it the minute she opened her eyes."

He swallows hard, as Adam's apple bobs in his throat. I watch mesmerized. I know to the depths of my soul that what he's about to say next will change my life forever.

He's going to choose Nalani, my mind whispers. But, no! Please. Anything but that.

He meets my gaze, then speaks the words: "Our mate bond has returned."

The floor seems to drop out beneath my feet. "What about us?" The words fell out of my mouth, propelled into existence by my utter shock.

"Come on, Aurora," Evandar replies, clearly annoyed. "Let's be honest for once. You needed me – needed the title of Luna – to secure your place in the pack.” 

His words punch me in the gut. I taste bile. "What?"

He has enough grace to look away, unable to meet my eyes after making that brutal and completely unfounded accusation. "I was the only chance for you," he says, and there is no emotion in his voice. "But you were nothing more than a second chance mate for me."

"You can't really believe that?" I demand, appalled he would say such a thing. How could he even think that? Just yesterday I was playfully kissing his wounds while I stitched him up after

There's a flicker in his eyes, the briefest hint of doubt. I see it because I know him so, so well. Why does he doubt my words? 

The look is gone before it has a chance to take hold, and his proud, rugged features soon settle back into chiseled stone. 

"The fact remains: I can't have two mates at the same time. I'm rejecting our bond. I want a divorce."

I look around our dining room, at what was supposed to be our romantic celebration. The decorations I selected for our special night seem to mock me. "Why her and not me?" I ask, because that's what this all really comes down to. 

He made a choice. It wasn't me.

His face goes hard. Harder. "My wolf needs her."

Everything within me goes suddenly, devastatingly still. And there it is. The one thing I could never hope to compete with, the only thing I can never give him. 

Nalani has a wolf inside her, one Evander can mind-link with whenever he pleases. I do not.

"No matter what we shared these last three years, without a wolf, you'll never bear me Alpha children."

I gape at him, thunderstruck.

All those nights he held me in his arms and kissed my brow meant nothing to him.

All those mornings I got up extra early to make him his favorite breakfast were for nothing.

The love I gave him every day was never reciprocated.

I never thought of myself as someone who could be so easily deceived, but it seems that I was wrong.

Nalani's stand-in, a pitiless voice whispers in the back of my mind. You are merely the second best.

This man that I loved, that I gave my whole heart, is now telling me he wants to be with someone else, that I am not quite good enough for him anymore.

My bottom lip quivers and I pick up the slightest hesitation in Evander's stance.

"I see you're beginning to understand," Evander says. "This wasn't an easy decision, Aurora, but it is the right one. My wolf has been starved for company for too long. The pack needs me to be strong. Nalani can make me stronger."

"I thought my love made you strong…" Is it a plea? I feel like I'm trapped in an awful, funhouse mirror world and I just want to find my way out.

"That was then. This is now."

The words are a slap in the face. I gasp. I know he's remembering saying those exact words to me more than once. Under the apple tree, in the garden, on our wedding night…

"Wait here," he says.

It's a command, not a request, and I do as I'm told as he heads back to the front door. When he returns a few moments later, he brings a woman with him.

"Hello, Aurora."

Nalani is more beautiful than ever. Her skin glows and her eyes sparkle with…malice? No, that can't be right. Why would she hate me?

"I see no reason to delay the inevitable," Evander declares. He's in full alpha form now – regal, stoic, ruthless. I can feel the power rolling off him.

"Aurora, you will hand over the title of Luna to Nalani in a formal ceremony on the night of the next full moon, which is tomorrow night. As your first act in your new role in the pack, I want you to kneel before your Luna and swear your allegiance."

Nalani's smirk makes me sicker than I've felt in my life. I look at Evander, but he refuses to meet my gaze. He stands resolutely by Nalani's side, one hand on her shoulder.

The grandfather clock in the hall ticks off one second. Then, two. No one moves. No one speaks. I choke back the whimper that wants to escape my throat, my chest, my heart. My cheeks burn and tears sting my eyes, but I drop to my knees as instructed. 

Evander is my alpha. My mate – despite his sudden, agonizing request. Three years ago, I swore before the entire pack to honor and cherish him. For my own pride, for the pride of the pack, that is not a promise I intend to break.

Not ever.

My mouth dry, my stomach in knots, I kneel before my new Luna. "I swear to submit my will to yours and offer you my undying devotion onto my death, my Luna." Each word of the ancient oath is like barbed wire in my throat.

"Well done, Aurora," Evander says, his voice low and approving. He reaches a hand down to me, and I take it, allowing him to help me to my feet. His skin is warm, his grip is firm, and my heart cannot help but stir at the contact. Does he feel it too? Has he ever?

"I think she's fine now, Evander," Nalani says from behind us. "I'm sure she can stand on her own."

Evander lets out a long sigh, then slowly releases me. I've never felt more alone than I do now standing here in front of them.

"Leave us, Aurora" Evander decrees. "You have my permission to stay in the guest bedroom until after the ceremony. Once that is complete, other arrangements will be made for you."

"Evander–"

"No," he says softly, but with firm authority. "You're dismissed. Go."

I want to argue, to beg, to try to prove my worth and love, but I know that forcing the issue – and challenging his word – will only lead to him hating me forevermore. That is not something I could bear.

I turn to leave, but my legs don't seem to want to hold my weight any longer. The room spins, taking my already upset belly with it. Saliva floods my mouth, the unmistakable forerunner of vomit.

"Aurora?"

I hear Evander's voice from a distance, as if from underwater. I stumble. The next thing I know is my cheek pressed against the cool, wooden floor, then my whole world goes dark.