Chapter 2

Hindi ko alam kung gaano na ako katagal nakatayo roon. Maybe five minutes. Maybe ten. Honestly, wala na akong idea.

Everything around me felt like it was moving in slow motion. May mga taong nag-uusap sa paligid, may mga yabag na dumadaan sa marble floor, may mga bulong na hindi ko naman maintindihan. But somehow, none of it was really reaching me.

Parang nasa sarili akong mundo. My hand was still resting on the edge of the coffin. Malamig. Sobrang lamig. Hindi ko na nga alam kung yung lamig ba ng kabaong ang nararamdaman ko or kung kamay ko mismo ang malamig.

I slowly pulled my hand away. Napatingin ako sa fingers ko. They were slightly shaking. I immediately curled them into a fist. Ayokong makita. Ayokong maramdaman. Ayokong aminin na hindi ko na talaga kaya. Huminga ako nang malalim. Inhale. Exhale. Pero parang walang nagbago. Still heavy. Still painful. Still empty.

"Miss Serena..." I heard someone call my name from behind. Hindi ako agad lumingon. I already knew what was coming. Someone was going to tell me to sit down. Someone was going to ask if I was okay. Someone was going to say something comforting that wouldn't really make me feel better.

And I was right. "Maybe you should rest for a while." Napalingon ako nang bahagya. One of the older women who had known my parents for years was standing a few steps away from me. She gave me a small smile, but I could already see the sadness in her eyes.

"I'm okay," I said. It came out almost automatically. She looked at me for a few seconds. Parang alam niyang nagsisinungaling ako. But she didn't argue. She just nodded and walked away. Napabuntong-hininga ako. Then I looked around. Ang daming tao. Too many. People I knew. People I barely knew. Some of them were family friends. Some were business associates of Dad. May mga kamag-anak din na hindi ko na halos maalala kung kailan ko huling nakita.

And everyone seemed to have someone beside them. Someone to talk to. Someone to hold their hand. Someone to lean on. I looked down. Ako lang yung mag-isa. I suddenly felt a strange pressure in my chest. Hindi ko alam kung lungkot ba iyon or exhaustion. Maybe both.

I swallowed hard and tried to focus on something else. Anything. My eyes wandered around the hall. The familiar furniture. The huge paintings on the walls. The chandelier above us. Everything looked exactly the same. Pero somehow, everything felt different. This used to be my home. My safe place. Ngayon, parang hindi ko na alam kung saan ako dapat pumunta.

I was about to look away when something caught my attention. Someone was looking at me. I felt it first before I actually saw him. That weird feeling na parang may nakatingin sa'yo. At first, I ignored it. Maybe I was just imagining things. Ang dami kasing tao. But after a few seconds, I couldn't help myself. Slowly, I lifted my eyes. My gaze moved across the room.

One person. Another. Then farther. And that's when I saw him. A man standing near one of the large columns. He was wearing a black suit, although his tie was already gone. The first few buttons of his white shirt were slightly undone, making him look less formal compared to everyone else in the room. One hand was inside his pocket. The other was hanging loosely beside him. He wasn't talking to anyone. He wasn't looking at his phone. He was just standing there. Looking at me.

Napahinto ako. For some reason, hindi ko agad naibaba yung tingin ko. I didn't know him. At least, I didn't think I did. So why was he looking at me like that? Hindi naman siya nakangiti. Hindi rin siya mukhang concerned. He wasn't giving me that look everyone else had been giving me all day. Yung look na parang sinasabi nilang, Kawawa naman si Serena. Wala. His expression was almost blank. Pero hindi naman completely emotionless. There was something in his eyes. Something I couldn't figure out.

I slightly narrowed my eyes. Maybe he noticed that I was trying to figure him out because his head tilted just a little. It was such a small movement. Barely noticeable. But I saw it. And somehow, that made me more aware that we were actually looking at each other. I should've looked away. Obviously. This wasn't the time to stare at a stranger. Pero hindi ko ginawa. Instead, I stayed there. Looking at him. And he stayed there too.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Parang may invisible reason kung bakit neither of us was moving. One second passed. Then another. And another. I suddenly became conscious of myself. My hair. My face. My swollen eyes. The black dress I was wearing. I wondered how bad I looked after crying for hours. I unconsciously fixed a loose strand of hair near my cheek. Then immediately stopped.

Why was I doing that? Napakunot-noo ako sa sarili ko. Seriously, Serena? You're standing at your parents' wake and you're suddenly conscious of how you look? I almost rolled my eyes. But when I looked back at him, he was still watching me. This time, I noticed something else. His jaw moved slightly. Parang napakagat siya sa loob ng cheek niya. Then his gaze dropped for half a second. Sa kamay ko. Then back to my face.

I looked down too. My fingers were still curled tightly against my dress. I slowly relaxed them. I didn't even realize how hard I was gripping the fabric. When I looked back up, our eyes met again. And this time, something felt different. I don't know what. It wasn't some dramatic feeling. Walang fireworks. Walang sudden heartbeat na parang sa movies.

It was quieter than that. Just this strange heaviness in my chest. Parang may something about the moment that I couldn't explain. And I didn't like not understanding things. Especially when it involved a stranger.

Who was he? Why was he here? Did he know my parents? Was he one of Dad's business associates? Or maybe a friend of the family? I tried to remember if I had seen him before. Nothing. Not even a familiar memory. But somehow... Parang may something familiar sa presence niya. Not his face. Not his eyes. Just the way he stood there. Too quiet. Like he wasn't affected by all the noise around him.

I looked at the people beside him. Nobody seemed to notice him. Or maybe they did, but I was too distracted to care. My attention went back to him. He shifted slightly. His shoulders moved as he took a slow breath. Then his hand came out of his pocket.

He rubbed the back of his neck for a second. It was such a normal gesture. Almost casual. But it made him look less intimidating. More human. I don't know why I noticed that. Maybe because I had been watching him for too long. Or maybe because, for the first time that day, I had found something else to focus on aside from my grief.

And somehow, that made me feel guilty. I quickly looked away. I stared at the floor. What was I doing? My parents were right there. People were mourning them. And I was standing there having some weird staring contest with a guy I didn't even know. I shook my head slightly. No. Hindi. I wasn't going to think about it. It meant nothing. Just a random glance. That's all. I took a slow breath and decided to walk away. One step. Then another.

But before I could completely turn my back on him, I don't know why, I looked at him one more time. And there he was. Still looking at me. Our eyes met again. This time, it was shorter. Maybe just a second. But for some reason, that second felt heavier. His expression didn't change. Mine probably did. Because I suddenly felt nervous. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. I wasn't nervous around people. Especially not around strangers. But there was something about that look. Something that made me feel like he was trying to say something without actually saying anything.

I waited. Maybe he'd look away. He didn't. So ako na ang unang umiwas. I turned around and started walking toward the hallway. I kept my pace normal. Hindi ako nagmamadali.

At least, iyon ang gusto kong isipin. But my fingers were still restless. I kept rubbing my thumb against the side of my index finger. A habit I had whenever I was nervous. Nervous? I almost laughed at the thought. Why would I be nervous? Because of him? No. Impossible. I didn't even know his name. I reached the hallway and stopped for a moment. I closed my eyes. Huminga ako nang malalim. I tried to bring my thoughts back to my parents. To what had happened. To what I was supposed to do next.Inheritance. Responsibilities. The future.

Everything suddenly felt too big. And that was where my mind should be. Not with some stranger across the room. I opened my eyes. Then I heard footsteps behind me. Slow. Steady. Someone was walking in the same direction. I didn't turn around. I didn't want to know who it was. But somehow, I already had a feeling.

I continued walking. And as much as I tried to convince myself that the moment in the hall meant nothing... I couldn't stop remembering the way he looked at me. Just a stare. Nothing more. Saglit lang dapat. Pero tumagal. And somehow, that was enough to leave a strange little question inside my head.

Who was he? I didn't have an answer. And at that moment, I wasn't sure if I even wanted one.