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Ikalabing Walong Kabanata - Ang ilusyon

I stared at Takeru’s number. I felt like I wanted to give him a call, or at least I wanted to know how he was. I don’t want to torment myself, but I also don’t want to talk to him.

‘Why have you always loved hurting yourself, Aoi? Kung hinahayaan mo na lang sana, hindi ka na sana masasaktan.’

But I can’t bring myself to let him go.

I stared outside my apartment in a daze. My mind seems to be going to explode from the headache, and up until now, my heart has not felt at ease. Siguro dahil alam ko na may nangyari kay Takeru at hindi ko pa magawang makausap siya. Still, I don’t know how to approach him. After all, I don’t have any reason to do so.

I want to know if he’s okay, but I don’t have the courage to do so.

Why do I have to suffer like this? Why do I have to be in pain? All I did was let him go. I let him go. Hindi ko na siya pinghawakan, hindi ko na siya pinaglaban. Hinayaan ko na siyang gawin ang gusto niya, pero bakit? Bakit ako ang nasasaktan? Bakit sa kaniya parang wala lang?
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