Bisa Tidak Mencintaimu Saja

**This is Book Four of the Pack Series. References will be made in this book to events that happened in previous books without going into explanation of those events. It is recommended that you start with the first book in the series - The Pack’s Doctor.

*One month before the second epilogue in The Pack’s Alpha.

Henry

“You’re making a big mistake, Henry,” Quirin growls.

“So you keep telling me, Q. But you get to crawl into bed every night with a woman you love after kissing your pups goodnight. I’m tired of sleeping in a bed that’s cold and waking up alone on an Alpha floor that’s so quiet it’s deafening.”

He sighs. “What about Wendy?”

“You’ve seen her, Q. If she was meant for me, she’d be feeling the pull. She’s four months away from her eighteenth birthday. If she were my mate, she’d be drawn to me. Instead, it’s just the opposite. It used to be that every time I went to see Connor, I’d see her. She always made sure to spend time with me. The last time I was there, I asked Connor if she was visiting you. Guess what? She wasn’t. She was in her room, talking to the Academy’s tech team.”

“Look, I don’t give a fuck what that Hijacker guy said to you. You know Wendy better than he does. You know how important family is to the Hills and you are family, Henry,” he says.

“Being family doesn’t mean I’m mated to one of Warren and Yara's daughers, Q. I can be considered family and not be mated to one of them. I’m already too old for Wendy. I’ve had to face reality. Now, it’s time that you face it as well.”

“You’re a fool for giving up, Henry. And coming from me, that should mean something to you. You KNOW I never intended to have a mate. But now ... now, I can’t imagine my life without Kennedy.”

“You don’t have to tell me, Q. Everyone saw you torture and kill Alpha Christer for threatening her. I’m happy for you, Quirin. Kennedy makes you a better man, everyone sees that. It still freaks me out that you smile so fucking much, but I’m getting over it," I say, chuckling.

“You’re such an asshole, Henry. You’re lucky I love you.”

“That I know, my brother, that I know. Please try to happy for me. This is important to me.”

“So, it’s a done deal?” he asks.

“I’ve booked a cabin in the woods for a week. I want to see if Justine and I are physically compatible. If we are, then ...”

Quirin sighs again. “Compatible. What a boring fucking word Henry. Sex should be explosive, mind-blowing, mind-altering, or life changing. Not compatible,” he says, as if the word personally insults him.

“Not all of us are as lucky as you, Q. Maybe you had to go through the shit in your life so that you could find Kennedy and have the happiness you deserve. I never went through anything like that, so maybe I don’t get to have the same happiness that you’ve earned.”

“What kind of fucking bullshit are you spouting? You’re one of the best people I’ve ever met, Henry. You deserve the best. You sure as fuck deserve more than compatible!” he growls.

“I love you too, brother,” I say, ready to end this conversation. “Tell Kennedy I said hi, and give the pups a kiss from Uncle Henry.”

“Kaylee and Kendra have already asked to test their new skills against you when they see you again,” he says.

“Try not to turn your daughters into assassins before they turn five, Q,” I say, making him laugh.

“Hey, no one will ever fuck with my girls.”

No shit. Word of Quirin’s ferocity has spread far and wide. Somehow, he’s managing to make half of his quadruplets into female versions of him.

“I’ll see you soon, brother,” I say.

“I love you, Henry, even if you are a dumb ass.”

I snort. “Love you too,” I say before hanging up.

When I arrive at my mother’s previous pack, I greet the gate guard who now knows me by name.

“Alpha Henry, welcome back. I’ll let Alpha Patrick know you’re here.”

“Thank you, Oscar,” I say, and make the now-familiar drive to the packhouse.

When I park and step out, Alpha Patrick is waiting for me, along with Justine.

“Alpha,” I say, nodding to him first, then looking at Justine. “Hello, Justine.”

“Hello, Henry.”

“Henry, I understand that you and Justine are going away for a bit. Are you staying the night, or leaving right away?” he asks.

I look at Justine. “I thought we’d stay here tonight and leave first thing in the morning.”

Patrick looks at Justine. “That works for me," she says.

I grab my bag out of the back seat and walk up to Justine, leaning down to press a kiss to her lips.

“How have you been?” I ask her.

She slides her arm through mine as we walk inside. “I’ve been good. How about you? How is your pack?”

We spend the evening talking over dinner, sitting with her friends who keep giving her smiles they think I don’t see or nudging her when they think I’m not looking. Obviously, her friends approve of me. Of course, I’m an Alpha. Most families and friends would approve of me for that reason alone. But Justine isn’t like other women. She doesn’t care that I’m an Alpha and that’s what drew me to her. She didn’t throw herself at me. She didn’t try to make herself into someone she wasn’t. She’s always been the same person, ever since I met her two months ago.

“So, where are you taking our friend, Alpha Henry?” one of her friends asks.

“We’re going to the shore. I thought it would be nice to hear the ocean at night and smell the salt of the sea,” I say, watching Justine. It was a guess on my part, but she seems amenable to leaving the forest for the coastline. Honestly, she’s been amenable to everything I’ve suggested since we first met.

“That sounds lovely,” she says, smiling at me.

That night, I walk her to her room, giving her a soft kiss before leaving her and going to my room. I have a week to be with her, to see if we both agree that we’re compatible. I haven’t said it to her like that, but she must know that this trip is to see if we’ll be a good match. I’ve made my attraction to her known and she obviously feels the same. This week will be a huge test to see if we continue to move forward.

The next morning, we pack her things into my car and then we head to the shore.

“So Justine, I know we’ve talked about a lot of things, but I was hoping that we could talk more personally and specifically during this trip,” I say as I drive.

“What would you like to talk about, Henry?”

“Well, for instance, do you want pups?”

“I absolutely do.”

“How many would you like?” I ask her, thinking of Quirin and Kennedy.

“Well, that depends,” she says.

“On ...?” I ask.

“Well, if I were to be mated to an Alpha, like you, I’d like at least two pups. However, I know that having an heir is paramount, so I’d be willing to have several pups in order to give my mate the heir that the pack needs.”

I nod. “So, two would be your preference, as long as you had a boy and a girl?” I ask.

“I think that would be perfect, don’t you?” she asks.

I think about Kennedy and Quirin and all the pups that they have. I think about Warren and Yara and all the pups they have. Even Connor and Madison are filling their Alpha floor with pups. Their packhouses and homes are chaotic, loud, and crazy, and I love every minute of it. Having grown up as an only child, I love feeling surrounded by family and love.

“I’m happy to give my mate as many pups as she wants, as long as I get my heir. I would never force my mate to have more pups. I’m not the one carrying our pup for five months. I’m not the one nursing our pup, so I would defer to my mate on the number of pups, as long as I have an heir.”

“Of course, that makes perfect sense.”

When we arrive at the cabin I rented, I’m very pleased. It’s on a cliff overlooking the ocean. There are steps down the cliff to the private beach below. Up here, there is a firepit so we can sit outside comfortably and watch the stars. After getting settled, I take Justine into town for dinner. When we return, I light a fire in the fire pit, and she grabs some blankets from inside the house.

“Shall we snuggle, Alpha?” she asks, holding up the blanket.

“I’d love to.”

We make love under the stars, feeling the heat of the fire and cool breeze of the night air on our skin.

The rest of the week we spend getting closer, talking, eating out or making food together, going on long walks on the beach, watching sunsets, and making love. There are no fireworks, not like what I’ve heard happens with fated mates, but Justine and I are not fated mates. I can make her come, even if she is extremely quiet about it. But more importantly, I know that she’ll make a great Luna for the pack and she’s willing to give me an heir.

By the end of the week, I’ve made my decision.

“I’d like to consider becoming chosen mates, Justine. What do you think?”

“I’d like that,” she says.

“Good. I need to get home, but next month, I’d like to bring you to my pack, let you meet them and see if you still feel like you want to become chosen mates. If you do, and everything works out, then I think we should move forward.”

“I’d really like that, Henry,” she says, kissing me softly.

“I’d really like that too, Justine.”