THE BREAKDOWN

She tried her best to calm down but she couldn't control her emotions. Everything was getting too much for her. She needed fresh air, she couldn't breathe anymore, she felt like she was getting a panic attack. She stood up and headed for the door, he followed her. Once she was outside she could feel the fresh breeze hit her face, it was a stark contrast to the heat that was filling her up inside. She started heaving as she was crying, she was totally out of control, her breathing was unsteady. She was bent over from being out of control and crying. He tried comforting her but she pushed him away, she needed space and he was not giving it to her. "Please, leave me alone. I need space right now."

She tried normalizing her breathing but it was difficult to regain control of her emotions. She tried comforting herself by hugging herself and telling herself it was all okay. Everything was over, she was in a safe space. Finally after a few minutes she managed to calm down. Once she regained her composure, she stood up straight. She straightened her shoulders took a deep breath in and then out. She turned to him. "Why tell me now?" She asked. "I want you back. I know it might be a bit late but I still love you, I never stopped loving you Maya." He replied. "I'm in a relationship right now Alex. I'm engaged to a wonderful man. Why only come see me now? Is it just because you saw me now?"

"I admit it was good running into you, I never imagined I would see you again. I came back a few months ago, I stayed abroad for treatment and studied there. I also started a business and decided to branch out back home. I tried looking for you but found out you were seeing someone so I didn't plan on reaching out to you. I didn't want to disturb your life but then I saw you in my club and I just couldn't stay away. Seeing you brought back all those memories and feelings. Feelings I tried so hard to bury when I found out you had someone else and that you were happy. When I saw you the first thing I wanted to do was to hold you in my arms. Do you know how hard it was to see you and know that you are no longer mine? It felt like my whole world was crashing around me and there was nothing I could do. Do you know how lost I felt Maya?" He moved closer...

She wanted to respond but had no idea what to say. What could she say? She did not want to give him false hope. She knew she still loved him very much but she could not be with him anymore, she already had someone else and she was happy but yet she could not bring herself to say she could not be with him anymore. She was so conflicted. She loved them both but differently, she knew she could not make a choice as she was already with someone else and James loved her deeply. What she had with Alex was different to what she had with James. With Alex it was a teenage young love with passion and excitement and a lot of ups and downs and with James it was a mature, steady, healthy relationship. She needed to get away from him and soon or she just might end up making a big mistake and once that mistake was made there was no going back.