Heart of Ice

🌺 Viviane 🌺

🌺 Five Years Before 🌺

“Come on, Vivi! Choose this outfit right away.”

“I already chose. I like the blue shirt with the khaki shorts.”

“But I do not like it. Select another. Please don't let me down, go. Tell me another one that would be nice” João Pedro insisted stubbornly, looking at me with both hands on his hips.

I looked at João Pedro and gave up trying to argue with him. When he wanted something, he insisted until he got it, and I didn't have the patience to debate the same question for several minutes… or hours, days…, but João Pedro did, so I decided to select another combination of clothes.

“I liked that white shirt with the blue shorts.”

“I also really liked this combination. You are the best friend I could ever have.”

I looked at him and stopped myself. There was no point in disagreeing with João Pedro. He knew how to be annoying and pushy.

“You're annoying, but also the best friend I could ever have.”

He came to meet me, and we hugged tight.

We were in his room, in the mansion where he lived with his parents, Mr. Rodolfo and Mrs. Marta Mendes de Albuquerque, as well as his brother, João Felipe.

I was the daughter of a couple of employees at the mansion, the driver Antônio and the cook Lucía, who had already worked for the family for over 30 years, since JP's grandparents, who were Mr. Rodolfo's parents, were still alive and for this reason, we had a house within the enormous property, in which I lived with my parents.

I grew up with the two brothers, and we studied together at the same school, as Mr. Rodolfo always insisted on paying for my studies and insisted that I should have the same as his two children.

I was the same age as JP, just a few months apart, and I think that's why we were such good friends. Unlike his brother, who always kept his distance from me, even when we were kids.

It was December and as the school year had ended, JP had been invited to a pool party at the house of one of Felipe's closest friends, Ricardo Alcântara. As always happened, JP wanted to take me with him, and we were now in his closet, where he wanted me to choose the clothes he was going to wear to that little party.

As always, when it came to JP, he had already decided which outfit he was going to wear and just wanted someone to confirm that it was a good choice.

I didn't understand fashion as much as he did, even though I'd lived all my life among the children of wealthy families since I'd studied with them since I was a little girl. I continued to be a person of limited financial conditions and who did not have the same luxuries as the bosses' children.

My mother didn't accept all the gifts Mr. Rodolfo wanted to give me, only my studies were carried out willingly and even though I was still very young, I understood her, because even though I was among the rich, I didn't feel like one of them. I couldn't, because many wouldn't let me forget that fact.

Unlike JP, who treated me like a sister, his brother was one of the ones who always made sure to point out the differences between us and I should hate him for that. Which unfortunately was not the reality.

“Aren't you going to get ready? We're going to be late,” complained João Pedro.

“I don't understand why you're worried when you love being late to places, all to make an entrance that catches everyone's attention,” I said, smiling.

“You are right. But today I want to enjoy every moment of this party. I just want to see Alicia's face, knowing João Felipe is going to New York, and she won't see him soon.”

He burst out laughing, and I couldn't understand what was funny in this story. I decided not to think about JP's antics at the moment. He loved to gossip and make fun of the girls who mistreated me at school, and I preferred to refrain from talking about them, even if it was to say bad things.

While JP finished getting ready, I left the room and walked towards my house, still deciding whether to go to that party, which would be full of nasty people, who never treated me well, always making a point of excluding me from their conversations and making me understand what they considered “my place”.

At the same time, I had a reason that made me want to go, even in the face of all that, which was João Felipe being there, on what he called his farewell to the country because he was going to travel to the United States the next day and I wouldn't have the opportunity to see him again before his trip if I didn't go to that party.

As much as I wasn't going to be by his side during the party, I could still be looking at him from afar and that would be enough for me, considering that he would spend years living in New York, where he intended to study and make their specializations in the financial market.

I was passing through the corridor, which is close to the living room when I realized that Ricardo Alcântara and João Felipe were talking, and since they weren't speaking in a low voice. They were talking about me, and I could hear clearly.

I was scared, afraid that they would see me, but I couldn't control myself, and I stopped to listen better to what they were saying, and it only confirmed a fact that I had known for a long time: I was not welcome among them.

I couldn't bear to listen any longer, so I quietly retreated down the corridor. Tears welled up in my eyes, and my heart ached with the realization that no matter how much I loved João Felipe, I would always be an outsider in his world.