Chapter Thirty-Two

Alina’s POV

“No…” his lips brushed my ear “But it won't be hard for you to keep quiet” He whispered.

My eyes fluttered closed as his lips touched my neck and he trailed kisses down my shoulder. My legs trembled under their weight, and I reached to touch his shoulders, desperate. My fingers dug into his flesh, and when he finally pulled away from the tender spot, I moaned quietly, craving more.

“You little slut.” His lips landed on mine in a fierce kiss, sending waves of pleasure through my body.

I broke the kiss abruptly, pushing him off me. “Slut right? Fuck off.” I spat, glaring at him.

His eyes widened comically. “What the fuck? You can't talk to me like that, Alina.”

I scoffed and walked towards the door. I heard him start to follow behind me, and he pulled me back.

Honestly, this was becoming a routine and it was starting to piss me off.

“Don't walk out on me.” He growled.

“I'm not, I'm going to bed.” I lied, responding tiredly.

“Liar.” he snarled.

I turned to glare at him. “I am not!” I shouted angrily, “Just let me go.” I pushed past him, trying to get by, not really sure where I was going.

Sebastian caught my wrist and pulled me against him so that I bumped into him, and I gasped at the contact.

His arms circled me, holding me firmly against him. I tried to pull out of his grasp, but couldn't; his hold was firm. A deep moan escaped me involuntarily when he nuzzled my cheek, and then his hands slowly slid under my sweater, resting gently on my bare stomach.

I gasped and froze at the sudden caress.

Suddenly, I felt my shirt being lifted and my bra being removed. I tried to struggle out of his grasp, but he only gripped my wrists tighter. He leaned closer, brushing his nose against the skin underneath my breastbone.

“Tell me something, how many men have you been with since the last five years?” he murmured against my flesh.

His breath tickled my skin, and I shivered. His mouth left the sensitive area, making its way along my collarbone before trailing down my neck.

“It doesn't matter.” I whispered, still not moving. “What are you doing?”

“I'm trying to seduce you” he whispered against my chest. “You know that.”

“Not like this.” I replied quietly, feeling weak and helpless. I hated that he had called me a slut, even though he didn’t mean it in that way, it stung.

“Oh so there will be another time? When you're tired or drunk. I can wait.” The sarcasm in his tone was clear as water and I hated myself for letting him get this far.

“No” I whispered, shaking my head. “There won't be anyone later.” The words felt foreign on my tongue. I was playing hard to get.

His hand slipped under the elastic waistband of my panties and I inhaled sharply, trying not to react.

“How about now, is it working?” He whispered softly against my throat, nipping and sucking lightly on it.

“Maybe a little… But it won't happen again Sebastian.”

“You don't want me?” He asked.

I didn't answer. I shook my head, not wanting to admit it aloud.

“Because I'm too good?” He laughed lightly as his hands were now cupping my butt.

I jerked away immediately. “Stop it.” I said harshly, trying to sound stern and strong.

“Why should I? Is that any way to treat your husband?”

“No… I...” my voice faded as I began to feel tears welling up in my eyes. “Sebastian.” I said softly, choking on the emotions rising inside me.

He stepped away from me and took one step backward. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No” I sobbed. “It's nothing” I couldn't look at him anymore. I felt embarrassed.

What was wrong with me? Why did I switch sides so easily? Why was I acting like a fucking weak bitch?

Sebastian’s hand lifted my face until it was inches away. His eyes bore into mine. “Then why are you crying?” I knew he wasn't asking me.

I gulped and opened my mouth.

Before I could utter a word though he put a finger over my lips. “Don't lie to me.” he warned, lowering his hand.

I stared at him silently. I couldn't trust my voice.

He sighed heavily and ran his free hand through his hair. “Alina...” he breathed my name as if tasting it on his tongue. I wondered how it would taste at this moment, how it would feel.

I still couldn't bring myself to say anything.

He gave me a tiny nod, mumbling a lifeless “Sorry”

Then he turned and walked out of the room without looking back.

I fell on the bed and broke into another round of tears. It was such a stupid thing to cry about. But it felt like I was crying over the pent-up frustrations from work and my family. And maybe some things were even true. The pressure of balancing everything was overwhelming and I hated myself every day.

I didn't hear Sebastian come in until later on and when he did, I found it weird that he would tiptoe. Was he hoping not to wake me or something?

I felt the bed sink a bit under his weight as he slept beside me on the bed.

“Zero.” I whispered in the darkness.

“What?” Sebastian answered beside me.

“Zero. The number of men I've slept with in the last five years. Zero because I haven't been with any man since then until you.” My voice sounded choked up.

The bed dipped slightly beside me, indicating Sebastian had moved closer.

But he didn't say a word after that. Neither of us did. The silence stretched in the darkness between us. I couldn't tell whether it was an uncomfortable or peaceful silence. I didn't know when I slept off, I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing.

“Hello?” I answered, still sleepy, feeling disoriented after waking up.

“I am guessing you got my roses”