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Isang kalapastanganan sa aking sarili kung sasabihin ko na kaya kong kalimutan si Treve. Hindi ko siya maaalis sa isipan ko kahit saan akong pumunta, kahit gaano ko pa piliing hindi siya isipin. Pakiramdam ko, nasisiraan ako ng bait sa tuwing hindi ko siya makita. Na kahit sa gitna ng pagre-review ko, siya ang lumilitaw.Am I... in love with him?Sasabihin ko sa sarili ko na hindi. Na dala lang ng init. Na ganito talaga kapag matagal kang nagsasama ng katCHAPTER 49 Dati, noong nag-aaral pa ako, palagi akong nagpapakatotoo sa sarili ko. My decisions were always shaped by being true to myself. There were no barriers in it, and the output would always turn out satisfactory... or at least, that was what I believed back then. Pero ngayong hindi na ako nag-aaral, ngayong namatay si Daddy, iyong desisyon ko na tumakbo at magpakalayo-layo ay dala ng takot. Fear consumed me before I even had the chance to think things through. I ran before I could fully understand what I was running from. And now... I made another decision, marrying someone because of conscience. Na iyong taong hindi ko lubusang kilala ay marami na palang nagawa noong nawala ako sa buhay nila nang mahabang panahon. Hindi ko maiwasang isipin na isang taon na rin pala ako bilang kasambahay. I've learned a lot. I've learned what hard work really feels like from the inside. Na mahirap din pala kahit na hindi na ako nag-aaral. I just always remember my Kuya Limuel whenever I fee
CHAPTER 48Siguro kung hindi lang ako nagself-reflect kagabi, baka umiiyak na naman ako ngayon! My Mom does not like seeing me cry. She absorbs other people's emotions so easily, and seeing me fall apart only makes things harder for her."Don't worry so much, Xianny anak... I am sorry, okay? I will... Ayaw kong iwan kita kaya lumalaban ako, Xianny.""I will do everything, Mommy. Everything it takes for you to get back to the life you deserve," sambit ko sa kaniya.Ngumiti siya. Hinugasan ko iyong mga apples na dala ko at nang bumalik ako ay nagsimula akong balatan si Mommy ng apples."But, anak... Lance told me that your Dad had arranged a marriage between you and Lance," she said suddenly.Napalunok ako. Nakalimutan ko na halos ang bagay na iyon dahil si Mommy lang ang laman ng isipan ko kagabi.Mabagal kong napagtanto na si Lance pala ang naabutan ko kagabi. Na dahil sa labis na emosyon, hindi ko naisip na baka may kap
CHAPTER 47Tiningnan ko si Lance. His voice has something I did not expect from him. He's kind, one thing that I never anticipated from a guy like him... Hindi ko makita na ganoon siya. I thought he was the kind of person you could not trust, the kind who did things only when there was something in it for him.But I was only thinking that because I was that kind of person myself. Naging masama akong anak at hindi inisip ang naiwan kong pamilya. Hindi ko naisip na hindi lang naman ako ang nasasaktan at may pinagdadaanan. And sitting here now, I felt so small. My pain, my running away, my excuses. None of it changes the fact that my mother was here, suffering, while I was somewhere else living as someone I was not."Ako lang at ang pinsan mong si Daniah ang may alam na may cancer siya, Xianny.""W-Why didn't you tell me, Lance?""You were busy chasing your dreams, Xianny. I did not want to disturb that," he said simply.May pumiga
CHAPTER 46Luna led me off the elevator. Her steps were slow and heavy as we looked for the room. Mine were oddly light.I want to rest. I want to sleep and pretend this day never happened. But Luna brought me here, and whatever is waiting behind that door is something I cannot keep running from.Not this time.Nasa tapat na kami ng pintuan, at hindi kumakatok si Luna. Tiningnan niya ako sabay abot ng aking kamay.Lumayo siya sa pintuan at naupo sa may bleachers malapit sa kuwarto. She smiled at me forcedly without her teeth, and gestured with her hand. Telling me to knock.Napabuntong-hininga ako at kumatok."Who's that?"The door opened. And before I could even process that the voice behind it was a man's, I already saw him standing there.Nanlaki ang aking mata nang makita si Lance... at sa dulo ay isang kama kung saan ay may nakahiga at nakasuot ng hospital gown."Xianny..."It fel
CHAPTER 45The ball is in my court. And I need to accept the truth that the next step was on me.Pilit kong kinakalma ang aking sarili habang nakasakay ako sa eroplano. This is the fastest way I know. The only way out of everything I left behind.Makukulong ba kapag peke ang pangalan mo? Will I be put behind bars because I falsified something? Because I lied about who I was?Naiyak ako lalo... Pero napagtanto ko, mas maayos nang ganoon.At least, hindi ko makikita ang ekspresyon ni Treve. Hindi ko malalaman kung galit ba siya o malungkot.Umalis ako sa mansion niya nang wala siya. Tinulungan ako nina Kyla na mag-empake kahit na labag sa loob nila na paalisin ako, pero alam nila na mas makakabuti iyon dahil takot na takot na ako noong mga oras na iyon.Napasandal ako at napapikit ng mata.Why does all of this still bring me back to Treve? Why is he the first thing I think about, even now?Malamang katula
CHAPTER 44I shrugged my shoulders.Hindi ko maintindihan si Manang. The way she said it—nakakatakot, at hindi ko malamang dahilan. Tila hindi ako mapanatag kahit sinabi kong nagbibiro lang si Manang Flory.Or maybe I was just bracing myself for a tough day. I needed to take an exam—which I already did. And I needed to tell the truth to Treve.Busy ako sa mga nagdaang araw para sa exam at hindi ko napaghandaan ang sasabihin kong dahilan kay Treve. Malawak naman ang pang-unawa niya. Hindi naman siya iyong tipong uunahin agad ang emosyon. He would take my explanation in a civil way.Pero paano kung hindi?Paano kung masabi ko na ang lahat—tapos pangunahan siya ng emosyon? Na sa loob ng mahabang panahon na nagsama kami ay nagpakatotoo siya, pero ako pala itong hindi? Na masyado ko itong pinatagal at kailangan ko pa silang lokohin lahat?Siguro iyon ang dahilan kung bakit, habang mas papalapit kami sa mansyon, mas lalong bum
CHAPTER 41Malalim na ang hapon nang lumabas ako sa review center."Thank you, Ma'am."Iyon lang ang nasabi ko sa instructor namin bago ako tumalikod at lumabas ng pintuan. Isang buwan na. Isang buwang halos lahat ng oras ko ay nakukuha ng mga libro, practice tests, at
CHAPTER 40Nagdaan ang ilang araw na hindi na maalis ang ngiti ko sa labi dahil hindi na rin umaalis sa mansion si Treve at palagi kaming magkasama.Hindi ko lubusan maintindihan kung bakit ganito si Treve. But I just compared myself to Kyla, Manang Flory, and all of the workers
CHAPTER 39Napakagat ako sa aking labi at halos malasahan ko ang dugo roon. Kinuyom ko ang kamao ko sa kutson nang maramdaman ko na dinidilaan na niya ang aking pagkababae."Oh, Treve!"My folds feel so very sensitive that even his warm breath made my whole body so warm
CHAPTER 38In sudden times, I feel like my action was so impulsive... that it is wrong. But I am happy. I know that I shouldn't do it, but my heart flips multiple times while imagining that I am coming back to Albay.Nasa likod ako ni Sir Eve habang papasok na kami sa eroplano,







