Kabanata 5

RUN

Tahimik akong nakaupo pa rin sa hapag, habang hawak-hawak ang kutsarang kanina pa nanlalamig sa kamay ko. Hindi ko na magawang galawin ang pagkain, kahit isang subo. Hindi ko rin alam kung gaano na ako katagal na nakatulala sa mesa.

Bakit ba siya nagalit?

Pilit kong inalala ang naging usapan namin. Wala naman akong nasabing masama. Tahimik lang akong kumain, kagaya niya. Hindi naman kami nagtalo. Wala ring kakaibang nangyari…

We ate silently… Then he stopped eating and looked at me.

Muli kong binalikan sa isip ko ang eksenang ’yon. He scanned me… and then his eyes locked on my chin.

Napakunot ang noo ko. Dahan-dahang umangat ang kamay ko at hinaplos ang aking panga.

Bahagya akong napadaing nang mapisil ko 'yon. May mga pasa nga pala ako roon!

He saw it.

Is that the reason why he suddenly got mad? Pero... bakit naman siya magagalit sa pasa ko?

Isang ideya ang namuo sa isip ko.

Did he just realize that I’m not worth the deal? That I’m a walking problem he should’ve never offered help to? Baka napagtanto niyang, I’m not just trouble... I am damaged.

Parang bigla akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig.

Huminga ako nang malalim, pilit na pinapakalma ang sarili. Kahit nangangatal ang tuhod, pinilit kong tumayo at inayos ang mesa. Kinuha ko ang mga ginamit naming pinggan at hinugasan sa lababo, kahit pa hindi niya ’yon inutos. Kaunti lang naman ’yon, pero inabot ako ng halos ilang minuto sa paulit-ulit na pagbabanlaw at pagpupunas, tila ayaw matapos kaagad. Tinabi ko rin ang mga hindi naubos na pagkain at kahit doon, nagtagal rin ako, sinasadyang bagalan ang kilos. Parang gusto ko na lang huwag matapos sa mga ginagawa ko para hindi ko siya kaharapin.

Pero… sinabi niyang pumunta ako sa living room. At alam kong kailangan kong sumunod.

Muling sumagi sa isip ko ang galit sa mga mata ni Matthew kanina.

Papaalisin niya na kaya ako? Huwag naman sana...

Napalunok ako at nag-ipon ng lakas ng loob 'tsaka dahan-dahan akong lumakad papunta sa sala.

Kalma, Rain. Kalma.

Nanginginig pa rin ang paa ko. Para akong papunta sa hukuman at may sentensyang naghihintay sa akin. At parang gusto ko na lang tumakbo. Pero saan naman ako pupunta? Wala naman akong mapupuntahan, kaya wala rin akong ibang pagpipilian kundi harapin 'to

Pagdating ko sa sala, nakita ko agad si Matthew.

Napahinto ako. Nasa kalagitnaan siya ng tawag. Nakatayo siya sa harap ng malaking glass window, nakatalikod sa akin habang hawak ang cellphone sa isang kamay. Yung isa, may hawak na, hindi ko maaninag kung ano.

"Make it personal, not under the company. I want it clean... Yes, now."

Puno ng awtoridad ang boses niya at mahihimigmigan pa rin ang galit.

"And bring the most effective and fastest healing ointment. I don’t care what traffic you face, just be here. As soon as possible.”

Kumunot ang noo ko. Ointment? Para saan? Did he get hurt?"

Bago pa man ako makagalaw, ibinaba na niya ang tawag. Napapitlag ako nang lumingon siya sa direksyon ko.

Awtomatikong nagtama ang mga mga mata namin. Nakaigting pa rin ang panga niya. Parang galit na galit siya sa buong mundo. At mas lalong nagdilim ang mukha niya nang bumaba ang mata niya at tumama na naman sa panga ko.

Naestatwa ako sa kinatatayuan.

Nang humarap na siya nang buo sa akin, saka ko lang nakita ang hawak niya, it was an ice bag. Mahigpit ang pagkakahawak niya roon, tila kaunti na lang ay sasabog na siya sa galit.

"Maupo ka," utos niya.

"H-ha?"

Mariin ang tingin niya. "I said, sit. Now."

Mabilis akong umupo sa dulo ng sofa, takot na baka mas lalo siyang magalit kapag hindi ako sumunod kaagad. Nanginginig pa ang mga kamay ko habang pilit kong pinapakalma ang sarili. Sa loob-loob ko, sinisigawan ko ang sarili kong huwag matakot. Pero mahirap, lalo na't ramdam na ramdam ko ang nag-aalab niyang galit.

His shoulders rose, like he was holding himself back from breaking something. He looked like he was in pain… restraining himself. As if he didn’t know where to throw the fury boiling inside him.

Then, without another word, ibinato niya ang cellphone sa sofa. Hindi man iyon malakas, pero sapat na iyon para maramdaman kong nasa hangganan na siya ng pagtitimpi.

Pisil-pisil ko ang palad ko para mapigilan ang pangangatog, hinihahanda ang sarili sa galit na inaasahan kong ibubuga niya sa akin.

Based on how he looked, I was expecting him to throw dagger-like words... to shout... to explode. Akala ko ay magagalit siya adahil natagalan ako sa pagpunta rito sa sala. Akala ko pagtatabuyan niya na ako paalis.

Pero hindi ’yon ang nangyari.

Lumapit siya sa akin at...

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko.

What?

He lowered himself to the floor, one knee bent, the other leg tucked behind him, like a knight before a queen, but there was nothing royal about the tension in his body. Ang siko’y bahagyang nakapatong sa tuhod niya, at ang hawak-hawak na ice bag ay mahigpit pa rin niyang kinukuyom.

Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko.

Matthew Fuentavello is... kneeling right in front of me!

What’s happening?

Hindi ako makagalaw. Nakatulala lang ako sa kanya habang tila tumigil sa pagtibok ang puso ko. Hindi ko alam kung dahil sa takot... o sa gulat... o sa kung anumang damdaming unti-unting simisibol sa loob ko.

His other hand rested on his thighs at first, clenched, before he slowly reached out.

Kung kanina ay tumigil, ngayon ay parang may nagkakarerahang kabayo na sa dibdib ko sa sobrang bilis ng tibok nun dahil sobrang lapit namin sa isa't isa.

Matangkad siya kaya kahit nakaluhod, halos magka-level lang ang mga mata namin.

He stared into my eyes... The anger was still visible, pero hindi nakatakas sa paningin ko ang pagrahan nun nang bahagya.

Napayuko, pero ramdam kong nakatutok pa rin siya sa akin. I couldn’t keep eye contact, hindi ko kaya. Parang matutunaw ako.

He noticed that.

Gamit ang dalawa niyang daliri, maingat niyang iniangat ang baba ko, halos hindi ako nahawakan pero ramdam ko ang init ng balat niya. His thumb hesitated near the bruise. He didn’t even need to touch it directly, yet I saw the way his jaw clenched again. His hand trembled slightly.

Para siyang natatakot na baka mabasag ako sa kahit kaunting galaw.

Marahang dinampi ni Matthew ang malamig na ice bag sa panga ko. Napaigik ako ng bahagya sa lamig at hapdi, at agad siyang napatigil.

Napatitig siya sa akin, and for the first time that morning, hindi galit ang nasa mga mata niya ngayon kundi… pag-aalala.

"Does it hurt?" bulong niya, halos hindi marinig.

Hindi ako nakasagot. Ni hindi rin makatango. I just stared at him. Gulat na gulat sa mga nangyayari.

Bumuka ang labi ko pero walang salitang lumabas doon.

I was sure that shock and confusion were written all over my face. I must’ve looked like a lost small kitten, stunned in front of a lion. Kita niya iyon, but he wasn’t paying attention to that. His gaze was fixed on what was probably a purple mark on my jaw. Tila wala siyang ibang iniisip ngayon kundi iyon. He continued holding the cold compress against my skin, letting the silence settle. I could feel the cold from the ice… pero mas ramdam ko ang init ng palad niya.

Pigil ko ang hininga ko sa takot na marinig niya ang malakas at mabilis na kabog ng dibdib ko.

“Who the hell did this to you?”

There was something dangerous in his voice. Something cold and sharp. His brows drew closer, and his face… it darkened even more.

Hindi pa rin ako nakasagot. Para akong nawala sa sarili lalo sa sunod niyang sinabi.

"Whoever did this to you..." he said, his voice dropping to a deadly calm that sent a chill down my spine.

His jaw tightened, and his eyes burned with rage.

"I swear, they won’t get away with it. I’ll make them pay. Slowly. I’ll make them regret ever laying a hand on you."

My lips parted. That wasn’t just anger. Pagbabanta iyon. At tila isang pangako.

At that moment, it finally sunk in. Galit siya, pero hindi sa akin, kundi para sa akin... He was mad because of my bruise.

Ang hindi ko na lang maintindihan ay kung bakit...

At kahit litong-lito na, lahat ng takot ko kanina ay unti-unting naglahong parang bula.

Napalitan ng isang bagay na mas mahirap ipaliwanag, isang damdaming hindi ko inaasahan... o inakala pang posible pagkatapos lahat ng nangyari sa akin sa nagdaang buwan.

Before I could even react, he spoke again, his voice lower and darker.

“Just tell me how you want them to pay,” Matthew growled, eyes never leaving mine. “I’ll do it. Right away. Was it your family? Or your asshole cheating boyfriend? Tell me, and I swear, every single one of them will pay for everything they’ve done to you.”

Para bang iniisip na niya agad kung paano niya bibigyan ng parusa ang sinumang may kasalanan sa akin.

My eyes widened. My heart pounded. I finally found my voice, although it came out shaky and unsure.

He wasn’t known for being ruthless for nothing. If he said he would do it, he would.

“I-it was... my tita,” I whispered, eyes lowering to my lap. “But no. Please don’t. You don’t have to take revenge. She’s still family.”

“Family?” he snapped bitterly. “Does family hurt you like that?”

I swallowed hard. My fingers curled on my lap.

“That was the first time she hit me,” I said, almost as if defending her. “She still took care of me when my parents died. Malaki ang unang na loob ko sa kaniya…”

Galit ako kay Tita, oo… pero kahit gano’n, hindi ko kayang balewalain ang kabutihang nagawa niya kahit papaano. Tatlong taon din niya akong inalagaan, at hanggang ngayon, dala ko pa rin ang utang na loob na ’yon. I’ve never believed in revenge, not even when people hurt me. Maybe because I’ve already been through enough pain… and I just don’t want to carry more.

What I long for now is something simple. Peace. A life where I can finally breathe, somewhere far from the hurt… and far from them.

"I don't want to hurt anyone..."

Nag-angat ako sandali ng tingin. Matthew was closing his eyes, jaw ticking hard. The ice bag in his hand trembled again, his knuckles turning white from gripping it too tightly.

His whole body was tense, fighting something within him. Rage, maybe. Or frustration. Or both.

“They hurt you.”

His words came slow and precise. Tila gustong ipaintindi sa akin nang maigi.

“They used you. Threw you out. Sold what was yours without even telling you. And they still had the audacity to lay a hand on you.”

Napayuko ako kaagad nang nagmulat siya ng mga mata at direktang tumitig sa akin.

“You’ve already paid for that so-called ‘utang na loob.’ You paid it in full. Sobra-sobra pa.” He leaned forward slightly, his voice sharper now. “So please… stop carrying it. Forget about that debt. And forget about them.”

I finally looked up, startled, not just by his words, but by the sudden softness that followed.

The fire in his eyes hadn’t left, but it had changed. It wasn’t violent anymore. It was protective.

“Starting today…” he said, more quietly this time, as if he was making a promise only I was meant to hear, “I will be your only family.”

My breath hitched. Only family...

He leaned closer, and the world around us seemed to blur. Mas lalong nagwala ang puso ko sa loob ng dibdib ko.

“I swear… no one will ever lay a hand on you again. Not while I’m here.”

Something inside me cracked. And then melted.

Sinong magaakala na...

The man known to be ruthless in the business world… cold, untouchable, always calculating, was kneeling in front of me now, treating me like I was something fragile. Someone precious.

And of all people…

Why him?

Why is it with him that I feel this strange… safety? Like, finally… someone is willing to fight for me.

And for the first time in a very, very long time… I wasn’t afraid anymore.

Alam kong, maybe to him, I was just someone to protect. Siguro'y naawa siya sa akin. Maybe he just felt responsible. Maybe I was just… a burden he decided to carry.

Pero bakit ganon? Tila lumulundag ang puso ko sa tuwa kaysa kaawaan ang aking sarili.

Because right now, while he was still kneeling in front of me… while his touch was gentle and his eyes full of quiet rage, I didn’t feel like a burden.

I felt like someone worth protecting.

And I hated that my heart… was starting to pound the hardest way I never felt before.

I didn’t want the life I ran anymore. I wanted… this.

Whatever this was. Even if it’s temporary. Even if it’s all just in my head. Even if I end up heartbroken again.

Because right now, right here… in this small moment where someone actually chose me, I finally felt like I was worth something.

And for the first time since everything fell apart… I didn’t want to run. Not because I have no place to go, but simply because I don't want to.

Not from him.

Not from Matthew Fuentavello.