Imperfection

“You sent for me ma’am?” Lillian said as she walked into the study room, already having a bad feeling about the meeting and knowing of her great secret with her son, she couldn’t fight the nervous feeling she was having. She stood, fiddling the hem of her apron, her head bent as she studied her black leather sandals which looked old with mere looking at it. Her hair was covering her face, seeming to bury her in her own self. 

With one look, one can see she was trembling. The air condition in the room was moderate but she was trembling and definitely not from cold but because of the woman sitting opposite her on a sofa, casually sipping her coffee. Looking at how casual she looked, Lilly doesn’t know if she had found out about her and Shane but she couldn’t control her fear none the less.

Margaret looked as calm and graceful as she could while sipping her coffee, her short blonde hair looking soft by mere look that one will want to touch it. Her transparent gray eyes, just like the ones of the man Lilly loves but only that it doesn’t hold the tenderness he’s holds when they look at her. The few wrinkles on her face doesn’t change how exquisite and beautiful she looks. She was sitting with one leg crossed over the other, dressed in a designer’s top and plain black pants, her shoe’s heels were pointed and looked quite sharp that Lillian fears her heart might be the next place they will pierce. Margaret gently placed her coffee cup on the saucer then place it on the stool beside her. “What are you in my house?” She asked in a voice that sounds gentle but sends chills down Lilly’s back.

“I don’t understand ma’am,” Lillian whispered.

“What are you in my house?” Margaret repeated but with her voice chilling a few degrees.

Lilly trembled, believing then that she must have found out about her and her son, the thought increased her fear and her fingers shook but she still gulped and answered, “A maid ma’am.”

“Good. So you know you are a maid, why do you go after my son?”

At the question, Lilly’s head sprang up, one could see the look of horror on her face, she knew it, she has found out but how? How did she, who told her? But who will tell her, no one knows apart from her and Shane. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.

“Lillian, I’m going to say this once and it will be my first and last warning to you. The very day I will see you acting coquettishly near my son, is the day you will take your last breath.”

“But ma’am I...” She tried to protest.

“Let me finish!” Margaret’s voice was law as she clammed up immediately, “I have received complaints about you and God help me Lillian, the day I will see for myself,” she shook her head, “pray, that I show mercy for I won’t.” She looked at her, “do I make myself clear?”

“Yes ma’am,” Lillian nodded, all the while thinking on her words, she had received complaints, which complaints? Who complained? Could it be Diane? But she has never seen me with Shane, or have she?

“Stay away from my son, stay away from Shane. You are a maid and a maid remains a maid. A maid works like a maid, will be paid like a maid and will die as a maid, do you understand?”

No matter how much Lilly rejects her words, she still nodded, “yes ma’am,” her heart was shattering already, this was what she always tell herself, she is a maid, this is not a fairytale where the pauper wins the Prince, but she just can’t get her heart to listen.

“Whatever dreams you have with my son, abolish it. For no son of mine will be together with an imperfect girl. Follow in your family’s footstep. Your mother married my servant, I have many male servants, if you really want to be with a man, I can gift one to you but you will never, not in my house, not in my life, be with my son!” Margaret’s face tightened as she made the last sentence before adding “never.”

Lillian’s eyes welled up but she stifled her sob and nodded, “yes ma’am.”

Margaret stared at her like one will look at an unworthy object in disgust, “get out of my sight,” she shooed her and she curtsied before turning, opening the door and running out of the office. She closed the door after her, her legs grew weak when she was out.

She cupped her hand on her mouth to silence her sobs as the tears came pouring down her cheeks like waterfall. She took a step, then a second one before slumping on the floor, her shoulders shook with her silence sobs and she wondered what kind of life she was born into.

Footsteps sounded on the hallway and she scrambled to her feet immediately, she dabbed at her eyes with the back of her hands, sniffling in the process to clear her nose.

Shane appeared at the end of the hallway, he seemed to just be returning from work as he was still dressed in the black suit and pants he wore to work. One week old stubbles were visible under his jaw and he looked so tired like he had had a stressful day at the office. He froze for a second when he saw Lilly and then was by her side in quick strides. He grabbed her shoulders tenderly, a frown written on his face, “flower, what is it? Why are you crying?” He looked up at the door beside her and understanding dawned on him, “why are you here, what did she say to you?” He whispered.

Lilly sniffed and shook her head softly, she forced a smile his way, “nothing, she just called to ask me a few things” she gulped.

“What did she ask you?”

Lillian took a deep breath and closed her eyes, opening them again, she looked at him, “I’m sorry sir, but if there is nothing else I will do for you, I will like to return to the kitchen.”

Shane was visibly shocked at her words for she has never spoken to him like that before, “Lilly, what do you mean?”

“I’m sorry sir but can I go now?”

“Lilly...” He wanted to say something however the door opened and Margaret stood beside it. He quickly let his hands on Lillian’s shoulders drop on his sides. Margaret looked from him to Lillian, she communicated to her with her eyes which were filled with warnings.

“I’m sorry sir, if there is nothing else, I will leave first,” Lilly looked at her and bowed her head slightly, “ma’am,” then to Shane, she said, “sir,” and walked off immediately, not daring to look back. This is how it was supposed to be after all. This was how she had wanted it to be, do her job, earn her salary then carry on with her dream to go to college and also for her mother’s surgery, but her heart betrayed her, it fell for the one man she can never dream of having in this world, the one man that will never be hers.