Hindi ko na hinintay na sundan ni Kuya Gavin ang sinabi, hindi na ako huminging ipaliwanag niya ang ibig sabihin, hindi ko na inisip ang mga matang nanonood sa amin, ang mga kaibigang alam kong naghihintay ng salita mula sakin. I only saw Kuya Gavin and his voice and words were the only things I was able to hear that time.
Tumango lang ako kaagad, sinisikap na huwag hayaang tumulo ang mabilis nangilid na mga luha. Inabot niya ang kamay at mabilis ko iyong tinanggap, walang sinayang na segundo at mabilis nang nag-umpisang maglakad.
Hindi ko alam ang nangyayari. Pero dahil nandito si Kuya Gavin, dahil malungkot ang mga mata niya, dahil mahigpit ang hawak niya at may pagmamadali rin ang lakad, dahil kinailangan niya pa akong puntahan dito, bigla nalang akong naniwala. Naniwalang si Kuya Luke ang may dahilan kung bakit siya ganito.
Pinahid ko ang unang takas na luha. Inalalayan niya akong makaakyat sa helicopter at bago pa a
“Oo, maganda. Oo, nagustuhan ko.”Kinagat ko ang labi para hindi kumawalaang hikbi.“But you would look more beautiful in it if you’re smiling.”Imbes na gawin ang ninanais niyang gawin ko, tumanggi ako. If smiling would take away his pain, if smiling can stop his heart from hurting, if smiling would give him a new heart, then that would only be the time I’ll smile.How can I still smile when he looks so weak? How can I still smile knowing that it can’t change anything?Binalik ko ang kinuha niyang halik, siguro para masiil ang lalo kong pag-iyak o siguro dahil iyon ang noon pa’y inaasam-asam kong gawin.Sana sapat na ito para maihatid sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko sa mga oras na ito. Sana sapat na ang halik na ito para mabatid niyang sa isang taong nagdaan, walang pinagbago, ito pa rin, ako pa rin ito, ang
MiracleThe array of long fluorescent lamps on the ceiling became so blinding. Madilim na sa labas ng nakabukas na bintana ng silid kung kaya’t naging napakaliwanag. Doon ko lamang pinabalik-balik ang tingin, sa bintana, sa mga ilaw, sa bintana at sa ilaw ulit.While the nurses and the doctor were all busy doing what they should do to the man lying on the bed at the center of the room, I busied myself too,looking around, doing all the things that would prevent me from looking at them.Hindi ako titingin. Kung titingin man ako iyon ay kapag nakabukas na ang kanyang mga mata.The sound coming from the heart monitor became louder and deafening. Ang sakit sa tenga. Kahit anong lakas pa ng kabog sa aking dibdib, nangingibabaw pa rin iyon. Tinakpan ko ang magkabilang tenga, I held on them until it hurt. Pinikit ko ang mga mata at nag-isip ng masayang alaala, alaalang kasa
I heard someone entering the room but I didn’t pay even a bit of attention. Nakaupo lamang ako, nakatulala sa ngayo’y bakante nang kama. I have no idea how long it has been. Tuyo na ang aking mukha at mga mata, maybe I ran out of tears or maybe this is just too sad, I am just too sad to even shed tears.“He is alive, Amaia.” A man spoke.I didn’t flinch, I didn’t move nor give any reaction to what he said. I was just still, unmoved.“I know. His hands felt warm last night. It was shallow but he was breathing.” Mahinang pagkakasabi ko bago nagpilit ng isang ngiti. Parang mapupunit ang gilid ng aking labi, hindi ko aakalaing magiging ganito kasakit at hirap ang itaas ang mga sulok ng bibig.“Do you think he was happy? Did I make him happy?” At dahan-dahan, naramdaman ko na ang mabagal na pag-agos ng mainit na likido mula sa aking mga mata.
College “Mine!” Pumagilid ang iba upang bigyang daan si Ate Shane para saluhin ang bola. Ako naman ay tumungo sa bandang kanan ng net dahil doon ang tantiya ko ay ipapasa ni Chezka ang bola. My judgement did not disappoint me. Just as I reckoned, when she has touched the ball, she tossed it to my direction. Hesitations and doubts didn’t harrow me before jumping to hit it. I was sure at my timing, I was sure at my stance, I was sure that I would get the ball for sure and that the other team won’t be able to receive or block it. And I did. Sumigabong noon ang malalakas na palakpakan at sigawan ng mga estudyante sa aming department. Hindi lang basta sila kundi ang iba pang sumusuporta para sa aming team. Para sa napakalaking gym na ito, napakalakas pa rin ng kanilang paghiyaw. May mga bitbit pa ang mga itong tambol at mahahabang balloons. Kung ako lang, siguradong mamamaos na kapag ganito na kalakas ngunit sila kahit na ganoon pa ang mangyari, pinakita pa rin nila ang kanilang suporta.
NewIt was already 10:45 in the evening. Mahigit isang oras na simula nang makipagtalo ako kay ate dahil sa damit na gusto nitong ipasuot sa akin at sa mga koloreteng gusto nitong ilagay sa mukha ko.Tinuon ko ang tingin sa ilaw ng matatayog na mga gusaling tanaw mula sa kinauupuan ko. Ate then slightly clapped her hands when she’s finally done with what she has been doing to my face. I drew my attention back to the mirror and the sight of the glistening pinkish tint on my lips only made me bite it. Its sweet yet slightly bitter taste quickly dispersed in my tongue.Sinubukan ko itong punasan gamit ang likod ng palad ngunit dito lang din napunta ito. Habang nililinis ang kamay ay muli namang hinuli ni Ate Aizel ang mga labi ko para malagyan ulit ito ng lip gloss.“Punasan mo pa at lalagyan ko lang ulit,” she warned.I looked at myself in the mirror again. The glossy pink tint on my lips complemented my blushing cheeks. And as I trace the plunging neckline of my dress with my eyes, I c
TopherMula nang makaalis hanggang sa marating namin ang kinaroroonan ng sasakyan niya, hindi niya binitawan ang kamay ko. Wala ring kibuan. I only followed his steps and watched his wide back the whole time.Nagmukha na naman itong higante ngayong natabi sa akin. Now that we’re outside and it’s brighter, I just noticed that he has a slightly tanned complexion. His jet black hair is messily brushed up with a neat classic cut at both sides. I could see a little bit of his tattoo peaking from the collar of his shirt. I also examined his huge hand and long fingers tightly holding my hand. At hindi ko namalayan ang bigla na lamang na paglitaw ng ngiti ko.Huminto kami sa gilid ng sasakyan niya at doon niya pa lamang ako nilingon.“Do you have a place in mind? Somewhere you wanna go to?”Umiling ako. “Wala pa akong masyadong alam na mga lugar dito.”He beamed as if he suddenly thought of a good place. Dahil sa poste ng ilaw, mas naging malinaw sa paningin ko ang mukha ni Kuya Topher. His f
I would have liked this tickle in my heart, if only it wasn’t caused by him. I would have loved the freezing breeze of the morning at wee hours, if only he wasn’t the one with me. I would have loved the hue of the yellow luminescence from the street lights permeating through the windshield, if only it wasn’t his hands manipulating the steering wheel.But because of that mistake, of that one avoidable mistake, I started hating all of this. I began hating myself and him… Topher.Nakarating kami ng condo nang walang umiimik. I have only heard him breathe heavily and let out a sigh from time to time. Maybe he, too, was reflecting on what happened between us, on how wrong it was.Neither of us could change what has happened. But we could hide it. That’s what I have been thinking the whole time. If we would just pretend like it never happened, if we would just act like nothing happened, and forget about it.“Nothing happened,” mahinahon kong saad nang buksan na nito ang pinto sa gilid niya.
“Dominic,” halos pabulong na at kabadong sambit ko habang nakatanaw sa kaniya.Topher slowly shifted his gaze into the figure that is now walking towards us. May bahagyang bangis ang mga yabag niyang umaalingawngaw sa tahimik na pasilyo. The fury in his brows is visible under the dim lights.Alam kong nakita niya ang nangyari. Alam kong magagalit siya. At alam ko na ang kasunod na mangyayari.I thought very hard on what to tell him at that moment. Piniga ko ang isipan kung anong idadahilan, kung paano makakalusot. But after seeing us kiss, seeing us in this position, just what excuse can I still tell him? Just how can he still believe whatever I am going to say?Naramdaman ko ang paglayo ni Topher sa likuran ko. Hinarap nito si Dominic na ngayo’y matalim ang titig sa kaniya habang nakatayo na sa tapat namin.“Dominic.” Napatingala ako sa kaniya nang tawagin niya ito sa pangalan.“Topher,” Dominic replied back, making me even more surprised that they know each other.Katahimikan na uli