Mon premier et Mon dernier

It’s already cold out by the time, Adom manages to escape from his office. He doesn’t know why he still manages to stay late when it’s the interns that should be doing half of his work now. He thought once he got a permanent position at his job, and then got promoted he would go home right on time like all his other seniors. Guess he didn’t account for the fact that unlike his seniors he hated piling his work on the desk of his interns. He was just like them only three years ago. Struggling to find stability in the world, almost killing himself working through the stress. So he goes home late instead, every single day.

He’s supposed to catch the train but he’s so tired he can barely manage the short walk to the train station. His mind wanders, shivering through the cold permeating his suit, as he takes a look around the streets on his way. Usually he hangs his head low and walks to the train station with little to no concern for his surroundings. Tonight, though he’s especially sentimental.  

It’s been exactly three months now.  

His most recent break up that is. Adom still isn’t over it. Not because he’s still in love, or even particularly upset. But because the relationship ended due to the one thing Adom had promised himself he would never let happen. They had grown apart. They had stopped caring about the other person and that had led to them losing the love they once cultivated. Adom had always told himself that he would never be like that. That if he were ever lucky enough to be in a relationship, he would cherish that person to the best of his ability. He would never stop wondering what they were doing every day, he would never stop wanting to see their face, to be close to them and to always work on any problems they had before even thinking of giving up.  

But then he found himself in a relationship, a sweet one that he thought he would keep forever. And yet after two years it was almost as if they no longer had anything to talk about other than mundane conversations that ended before they even started. Those conversations ceased too, the excuse of being too busy all the more prominent. One day led to the next and when he had noticed he hadn’t seen his partner in the last month, or even wanted to, it was already too late. They were over and he could feel that in his bones.  

He had let them go, without a fight.