Seventy-Nine Thousand Reasons

Lily Thompson

I froze the moment the words left Isabella’s lips.

She looked so innocent standing there, clutching my phone, her face lit with the glow of the screen, but all I could hear was that one word echoing through my skull.

Debit—$79,548.

Why was Ryan getting debited?

My gaze snapped to Ryan, whose smile faltered for the briefest second.

“Why did the debit alert come to you, Ryan? I thought this was through the company?”

I asked, suspicion flooding my voice.

He gave a casual shrug. “It’s because I’m the one who signed off on your wardrobe fund, Lily”

My frown deepens and he adds “Theo’s the CEO, but he asked me to handle your onboarding. Including expenses. Denzol doesn’t just hand out wardrobe allowances without senior-level approval. It still routes through me.”

He shrugs lightly, calm, collected.“So yes, the debit came to me. Doesn’t mean it was my money. It’s just a message telling us how much we’ve used from the wardrobe allowance. It’s an automated alert, not a personal debit.

But if it makes you uncomfortable, say the word. I’ll get finance to transfer it your name so you’ll be getting the message instead”

He made it sound so official, so reasonable.

And maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t.

But something about it didn’t sit right.

I opened my mouth to probe further, but then he looked at me — really looked at me.

“Why does it bother you so much that someone actually wants to help you?” he asked softly. “Why do you always see help as pity, when it’s just love… or care?”

I stared at him. And then the words came heavy, bitter, and too close to the truth.

“Because I know what it’s like to depend on someone….then watch them vanish and have the rug ripped out from under me.”

Ryan’s brows furrowed slightly, but he said nothing.

“I know what it’s like to trust someone with everything, and then watch them disappear like it never meant a thing.” My voice shook, but I kept going.

“So no — I don’t see help as care, Ryan. I see it as debt. As leverage. As something someone can hold over me, just to remind me how small I am without them.”

I looked away, blinking fast. “I promised myself I’d never feel that powerless again.”

“Uncle Riri,” Isabella interrupted, “are you and mummy fighting?”

I sniffed and quickly bent to her height. “No baby. We aren’t fighting” I answered, smoothing her hair

“Do you think my friends will think I look like a real doctor?”

Ryan looked down at her and grinned, ruffling her curls. “They’ll be jealous they don’t look half as smart as you.”

Isabella beamed. “Mommy, can I sleep in my doctor’s coat?”

I laughed despite myself. The tension cracked. Just a little.

Then my phone rang.

Theo.

I excused myself and stepped aside to answer.

“Hey,” he said, a little too gently. “Just wanted to give you a heads-up. The board wants you to prepare a marketing plan.”

I blinked. “A marketing plan?”

“Yeah. Think of it as a trial assignment. They want to see what you’ve got. I know it’s short notice and I’m sorry for springing it on you—”

“I don’t mind,” I said quickly, eyes lighting up. “I want this, sir. I need to prove I belong at Denzol. And I will.”

He exhaled. “That’s what I wanted to hear. Knock ’em dead.”

I hung up and turned to find Ryan watching me.

“What was that about?” he asked, curious.

I hesitated, then told him. “The board wants me to draft a marketing strategy to prove myself”

His expression softened. “You sound excited.”

“I am,” I admitted. “For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m actually building something again.”

He didn’t say anything. Just nodded. And when we got home, I carried that glow with me.

At dinner, Isabella couldn’t stop babbling.

“Mommy! I’m going to show everyone my doctor coat, my shoes and even my stethoscope!”

I laughed, my heart swelling. For a moment, I wasn’t thinking about Ryan’s lies or my resentment. I was just… happy.

After we ate, Ryan cleared the table while I helped Isabella brush her teeth and tucked her in.

“Mommy?” she murmured as I pulled the covers over her. “I love my new coat.”

“I’m glad, baby.”

“And I’m glad we are staying with uncle Riri. I love him” she choked, snuggling her blanket.

My face dropped. My heart clenched. She loves him already. What I was trying to avoid had happened.The words were a punch to the gut. I couldn't even blame her; he was charming, attentive, everything a little girl dreamed of. Everything I once dreamed of.

I couldn’t stop her from talking or seeing him. I could never hinder her happiness but if he ever hurt her he’ll die at my hands.

I placed a kiss on her forehead.

Back in the living room, I sat on the couch with a notebook, trying to map out ideas. But everything felt like a struggle. No laptop, no tools, just me and my almost outdated phone and a pen.

Then, silently, Ryan came downstairs and placed a sleek silver laptop and a brand new phone next to me.

I looked up. “What is this?”

He slid his hands into his pockets. “I forgot to give you these. Company equipment. All executives get them.”

I opened my mouth to argue, to reject it on principle, but… I didn’t.

I needed this.

“Thanks,” I said, barely above a whisper, the word feeling foreign on my tongue

He didn’t leave. Just sat beside me, his arm brushing mine.

“So… how do you plan on proving yourself to the board?”

I straightened. “By showing them that I’m more than a pretty face and a college dropout. I’m going to create a full campaign: branding, outreach, long-term engagement plans—everything.”

His brows lifted. “You sound like you’ve done this before.”

“Not exactly,” I said with a small smile. “But I know people. I know stories. That’s what marketing is, right?”

He leaned back, arms crossed. “Need help?”

I shook my head. “No. I want to do this myself.”

“I figured.”

He didn’t move. Just sat there, watching me work. But the longer he sat, the harder it was to focus. His gaze felt like fire against my skin. Every stroke of my pen became shaky. Every breath, louder.

Finally, I slammed the notebook shut and turned to him. “Why are you staring?”

He didn’t flinch.

“Because,” he said quietly, “you haven’t lost one ounce of your beauty.”

I blinked.

He reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers lingered on my cheek, trailing softly down to my jaw.

I froze.

“You still do that thing,” he whispered. “The little shiver when someone touches your chin.”

And I did. I shivered.

He leaned closer. My heart pounded, lips parted. His hand cupped my jaw, lifting it so our eyes met.

“Ryan…”

Our breaths mingled.

He was inches away. So close I could feel the warmth of his skin, the tremble in my fingertips.

Then he paused.

“I remember what you said earlier,” he murmured, his voice barely audible. “About help feeling like leverage. Like debt.”

My breath caught.

He shook his head slowly, his eyes searching mine. “Lily… I never wanted you to feel that way. Never. I left you once. I know. And I regret it every single damn day. But I’m not here to rescue you, Lily. I’m just… trying to be the kind of man who doesn’t leave again. Who stands beside you, not in front. Who supports you, not cages you.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until his thumb brushed a tear off my cheek

He swallowed “I know what I lost… and every day I get to see you again feels like a second chance I don’t deserve.”

I blinked fast.

“You’re so much…Stronger. Fiercer. Carrying the weight of the world with one arm and raising a miracle with the other. I don’t want to save you, Lily, because you don’t need saving. I just want to stand beside you. If you’ll let me.”

I couldn’t breathe.

His hand was still on my chin, his lips just a breath away, and for a terrifying second… I wanted to close the distance.

I just wanted to remind myself how he tasted. He looked at me like I was a woman he wanted. Like I was the prettiest girl. His eyes on me made me feel like we were in college all over again. His lips hovered, barely a breath from mine. I could feel the warmth. I could already taste the mistake.

I shut my eyes and slightly leaned in, waiting for his lips on mine—-

“Mummy” I heard Isabella’s voice call out. She was coming down the stairs.

I and Ryan immediately gave space between each other. I pulled away fast like he burned me

Not just from the kiss. From the power I was about to give back.

What the actual fuck was wrong with me? Was I actually about to let him kiss me?

If I let this happen again… I wouldn’t be the only one shattered and picking up the pieces if it all fell apart.

I’m over him, I told myself. Again. And again. But deep down… a more dangerous truth whispered back: What if I’m not?