Ch. 3: Examine

“Please, have a seat.”

May inaayos pa rin si Dr. Collins sa table. Nang humarap siya, halos mapatigil sa paghinga si Ciara. He stood tall, skin-toned, his sharp gaze cutting through the room. But more than his presence, it was the familiarity that struck her most.

A sharp breath escaped her when it sank in who he really was, her bag nearly slipping from her grasp. “C-Colton…?”

The corner of the doctor’s mouth lifted, as though he had been waiting for her all this time. “So you still remember me.”

“Colton… ikaw pala si Dr. Collins?” bulong niya, halos hindi makapaniwala.

“Yes,” sagot niya agad, nakatitig lang ito ng mataman sa kanya. “Colton Astor Collins. Small world, huh? You… married my cousin.”

Nanlamig naman si Ciara. “I thought we’d never see each other again after you left to study abroad,” she said softly.

“Fate brought us together again,” Dr. Collins murmured, opening a notebook on his desk.

Hindi naman makasagot si Ciara, nanginginig na ang kamay na nakahawak sa bag strap. “I… I didn’t know. Akala ko kasi ibang Collins. If I had known—”

“If you had known, would that change anything?” putol niya agad, leaning forward. “Would you still have married him? Or… would you have chosen me?”

Napatulala naman si Ciara, pinipilit makaiwas sa tingin nito. “Colton, please. This is inappropriate. You’re my doctor now.”

Colton’s smirk. “Doctor, cousin, old flame, call me whatever you want. Pero ‘wag mong sabihing wala kang nararamdaman ngayon. Kita ko sa mukha mo, Ciara. You’re nervous… because it’s me.”

Ciara couldn’t help but study his face. “Hindi, I’m just… surprised,” mabilis niyang sagot, pilit na pinapakalma ang sarili.

“Surprised?” He let out a soft laugh, but it was clearly bitter. “Ako rin. Surprised na ikaw pa rin ang iniisip ko after all these years… at mas surprised na kay Luca ka nauwi. Luca, of all people.”

Ciara’s gaze sank, leaving her at a loss for how to stand tall or find her voice. “Mahal ko si Luca…”

“Do you?”

“Tell me, Ciara, are you happy? Does he satisfy you? Or are you just convincing yourself na tama ang pinili mo?”

“Colton…” She pleaded softly, embarrassment flooding her face. She had never been asked such a blunt question by any doctor.

Dr. Collins didn’t flinch. He stepped closer, so close she could nearly feel the warmth of his breath. “'Wag kang magsinungaling sa'kin. I can see it. You look empty. As if something’s missing.”

“Please, tama na 'yang mga tanong mo. This is just a consultation,” her words came out desperate, struggling to contain the fluttering anxiety in her chest. The questions made her increasingly uncomfortable, especially being alone with him in that room.

Colton’s lips curved into a smile, yet his eyes carried a weight and darkness that was hard to ignore. “No, Ciara. This is fate giving me another chance. At kahit asawa ka na ng pinsan ko…” saglit siyang tumigil, saka binulong, “you’ll always be the girl I should have had.”

Hindi pa rin makapaniwala si Ciara na si Colton nung highschool nga ang kaharap nito ngayon, a k.a Dr. Colton Astor Collins, dati niya itong crush nung high school. Gwapo kasi ito, at ramdam niyang may gusto rin sa kanya. Madalas silang magtago sa likod ng gym, kunwari nag-aaral, pero nauuwi sa paglalampungan, hawak ng kamay, stolen kisses, at mga halik na tumatagal nang lampas dapat. Doon niya unang naramdaman yung init at thrill na hindi niya makalimutan, parang siya lang ang babae sa mundo ni Colton. Pero pagkatapos ng graduation, lumipad si Colton para mag-aral abroad, kaya natigil ang lahat. May kaya kasi ang pamilya nito, hindi tulad ng kay Luca. Si Ciara naman, kahit kaya siyang pag-aralin ng mga magulang niya, pinili niyang magtrabaho agad. At sa huli, nauwi rin siya sa pagpapakasal kay Luca.

“Two years?” Colton snapped his fingers in front of her face, trying to jolt her back to attention. Nakahalukipkip na ito at diretso ang tingin sa mga mata niya, na parang binabasa niya ang bawat lihim sa loob ng isip ni Ciara. “Dalawang taon na kayong kasal ni Luca… at wala pa ring nangyayari?” He smirked, clearly enjoying the teasing.

Napayuko ulit si Ciara, pinipisil-pisil pa ang mga kamay niya. Gawain niya ‘yan kapag super kinakabahan. “Gano’n na nga po, Dr. Collins kaya nga ako nandito.”

“Strange. Kilala ko si Luca. Alam ko kung gaano siya ka-proud sa sarili niya. Pero tell me, Ciara, how is he in bed?”

Parang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig si Ciara. "Dr. Collins…" Nagkandarapa pa ito kung ano ang gagawin, nag-iisip kung sasagot ba o tatakbo na lang palabas.

Dr. Collins stepped back and sat at his desk. Once settled, he leaned forward, elbows planted on the desk, eyes locked on her. “Don’t play innocent, Ciara. I’m your doctor now. Sagutin mo ang mga tanong ko. Kumusta siya sa kama? Does he satisfy you?”

Parang naging mansanas na ang kulay ng pisngi ni Ciara “He… he’s normal. Maayos naman siya bilang asawa. Ginagawa niya ang… tungkulin niya.” Pagsisinungaling nito.

“Normal?” Nag-iba naman bigla ang tono ni Colton, sumingkit pa ang mata nito sa kanya, na parang naamoy ang kasinungalingan sa sagot niya. “That’s it? After two years of marriage, normal lang ang kaya mong sabihin?”

“Dr. Collins, please... this is too personal.”

“No, Ciara. This is necessary.” Naging mas mahinahon na ang boses ni Colton, parang may halong galit at hinanakit. “Dalawang taon na, and still no child. Don’t you think something’s wrong? Or maybe…” bahagya siyang ngumiti nang mapait, “maybe you just don’t feel anything with him?”

“Hindi ‘yan totoo,” mabilis na sagot ni Ciara, pero alam naman talaga nito kung ano ang totoo.

Tumango-tango naman si Colton, parang alam na ang lahat ng sagot sa kabila ng pagsisinungaling nito. “You don’t climax, do you? Hindi mo nga kayang sabihin nang diretso. Don’t lie to me, Ciara. I can see it in your eyes. Luca may be my cousin, but I know exactly what kind of man he is.”

Umangat ang tingin ni Ciara, nanginginig ang kamay. Ciara rubbed her brow nervously.

"Is that really related to why I haven’t gotten pregnant?”

“Just tell me. I’m the doctor trying to help you. You can open up to me. Besides examining reproductive health, I also need to understand other possible causes. If you never climax, then—well, that’s one answer.” Dr. Collins said softly, his fingers brushing hers on the table.

Ciara quickly pulled her hand away, her chest tightening. Iba ang line of questioning na ‘to, hindi tulad ng mga normal na tanong ng ibang OB. Hindi na siya parang nasa medical consultation lang, kundi parang unti-unti siyang hinihila ni Dr. Collins papasok sa mas malalim na usapan. Para bang hindi lang kalusugan niya ang gustong alamin nito, kundi pati ang mga sikreto at kahinaan niya sa loob ng kama at sa pagitan nila ni Luca bilang mag-asawa. “Sorry, Dr. Collins… that’s too personal. Nahihiya lang akong sagutin,” she whispered, forcing her gaze down.

“Maybe you’re just really surprised.” He gave a small nod, isinara na nito ang notebook matapos niyang ilista ang mga napansin niya, at saka niya itinuro ang kama. “Please lie down for the physical exam.”

Nag-atubili pa si Ciara pero tumango rin kalaunan. Kinakabahan lang ito. This is the first time too, na ang OB niya ay lalaki. Kaya parang iba 'yung nararamdaman niya. But she slowly walked to the bed and sat, pulling her skirt closer to her knees.

“Relax,” Collins said, adjusting the pillows. “Spread your legs.”

Ciara obeyed, pero ramdam niya ang bilis ng tibok ng puso niya. He slipped on his gloves and stepped closer.

“Remove your underwear,” he said evenly.

Her eyes widened. “W-what? Bakit kailangan, Dr. Collins?”

“Trust me. I’m your doctor. Standard procedure ito,” he replied calmly.

Ciara’s hands trembled. “I… I’m really embarrassed…”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” His voice stayed firm, pero mas lalo siyang kinabahan nang marinig niyang nilock nito ang pinto.

Her throat went dry. “No,” she blurted, bolting upright. “I won’t continue this examination.”

Agad naman na bumaba si Ciara ng kama at nagmamadaling pumunta sa pinto, nakalimutan nga nito ang sandals niya.

Collins remained motionless, eyes fixed on her as she left, his expression impossible to read.

Outside, Ciara’s face was pale. “Where’s Luca… bakit hindi siya sumunod rito?” she whispered shakily as she rushed down the hall.

Inside the office, Dr. Collins calmly picked up her forgotten sandals, slipped them into his drawer, and straightened his coat.

“Next patient,” he called smoothly, his voice gentle again as a couple entered, parang wala lang nangyari.