Masuk“Hey… hey, wake up.”
My eyelids felt heavy as I forced them open, blinking against the blur. A dull throb pressed at the back of my head. “Rhea, sit up.” The figure above me slowly came into focus. Lana. My brows drew together. “What… how—?” I pushed myself upright, dragging the blanket with me. “Here. Drink.” She guided a cup of coffee to my lips. I took it without resistance. The heat burned softly down my throat. Lana sat beside me. I didn’t miss the worry on her face. “How are you feeling?” she asked. “I’m okay.” My voice cracked immediately. “Take another sip.” I did. “What happened?” I asked. “You don’t remember?” I shook my head slowly. “No.” “Last night…” She hesitated. “What happened last night?” Silence stretched for a moment.Then fragments started returning. Darnell standing at the entrance of Vanessa’s apartment. Me turning away and leaving. “You came into my room crying,” Lana said softly. “You wouldn’t say what happened. I just let you sleep here… with me.” My eyes shifted around the room. Only then did it fully settle in. I was in her room. “I don’t remember,” I whispered. And I didn’t. Everything after leaving that building was gone. Lana’s hand rested gently on my arm. “Rhea… what really happened?” “I don’t know.” I swallowed. “Maybe I was just… moody.” Even as I said it, it sounded hollow. I didn’t know why I came to Lana last night. But maybe I did. She had always been my safe place. With her, I could breathe. Be myself without thinking. So why was it suddenly so hard? Lana would never judge me. But I would. Maybe that was the problem. “I’ve only seen you like that once before,” Lana said carefully. My face tightened. “Lana…” “And it was because of a guy.” My eyes closed briefly. My jaw clenched. I hated that memory. Hated what it made me feel about myself. “That was two years ago,” I said quietly. “And you know I hate when you bring it up.” She hesitated then asked, “Are you seeing someone?” I let out a short, humorless laugh and swung my legs off the bed. “Are you seriously asking me that?” “Yes.” Her voice was steady now. “And I need you to be honest with me.” “If I was seeing someone,” I snapped, “you’d be the first to know.” “I don’t know that anymore,” she shot back. I froze. “I don’t know, Rhea,” she continued, voice rising. “You don’t tell me anything anymore.” “That’s not true.” “It is.” Her voice broke slightly. “It wasn’t like this before. We weren’t like this.” I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. “When you and Liam broke up, you changed,” she said. “I tried to be there for you, but you pushed me away. And you’ve been doing it ever since.” Silence settled between us because she was right. I just didn’t want her to be. I hated talking about Liam. I loved him too much, given him everything. My heart. My body. Three years of my life. And in the end, it still wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough. “I didn’t push you away,” I said quietly, even though I didn’t believe it myself. Lana gave a small, disbelieving laugh and wiped at her eyes. “Rhea… you shut me out.” “I just needed time.” “It’s been two years.” “I’m trying,” I said quickly, softer now. “I promise.” I bit my lip hard, tilting my head up to stop my tears from falling. Lana exhaled. “And you think I’m not?” I folded my arms tightly. “You don’t understand.” “And I never will if you don’t tell me.” “Don’t you think I want to?” Lana pushed up from the bed, frustration finally breaking through. “I’m not doing this with you. When you’re ready to talk, come find me.” “Lana…” “I need to get ready. Please leave.” She turned away, already fixing the bed, ignoring me completely. My chest tightened. I wiped my face with my sleeve, turned, and walked out of her room with the coffee in my hand.Dear Diary,I've started journalling again after two years. The reason I stopped was because of a man. And the reason I'm writing again is because of another man. I think I'm cursed in that department.I'm ten days into getting over Darnell and somehow it feels like I haven't made any progress at all. Like for one, if I'm really determined on getting over him, I wouldn't be writing it down in a damn book. I dropped the pen and closed the book harder than necessary. This wasn't working. I picked up my coffee and took a sip before setting it back down. I remembered asking for vanilla in my coffee but it tasted completely bland. One of the many reasons I missed Café Denise.I'd found this new place called Haven a few miles down the street and thought I'd give it a try. What I learned was that nothing was going to top Café Denise. At least nobody here was clearing out the entire café to corner me, and I was choosing to be content with that.It was around seven in the evening. I'd left th
I never entertained the idea of my own home becoming my personal hell. Somehow I doubt it's the house. Hell is wherever Maurice is. My grip on the headrest tightened and my eyes pressed shut.I'd checked everywhere. The closets, the bathroom, every drawer. I even checked the vents. There wasn't any left. Not even one.My eyes snapped open with the pounding ache and gnawing need. My blood pressure was climbing by the second and the sweat pooling on my skin was making everything worse.I let go of the headrest and grabbed the gum pack, pouring the last two pieces into my mouth to keep my jaw occupied. The bottle had held nearly fifty pieces and I'd opened it in the morning. It helped with the craving but it only lasted a few minutes before it came back worse than before.I can't do this.I strode toward the door and opened it, closing it behind me as I headed downstairs to the kitchen. There had to be something in the cabinets. Something to stop the drums in my head. Maurice was nowhere
"You haven't touched your food, you should eat. It'll help you recover faster," Simone said, hovering over me."I'm not hungry," I replied, dropping the fork onto the platter."You haven't eaten anything since yesterday."I sighed and looked at her, then past her at the white wall. "I'll eat when I'm out of here.""Darnell, you know you can't leave until you get better," Simone said."I feel better.""What she means is," Maurice said, walking in, "you can't leave until the doctors clear you."I sank my head into the stiff pillow and closed my eyes. I needed to get out of here."You're all acting like he's five. If he wants to leave we should let him," Serena said from the corner, and for once I actually agreed with something out of her mouth."...but he needs to walk out of this hospital unassisted."I take that back."I can walk," I argued, and all three of them gave me the same skeptical look.Serena got up and crossed to the bed. "Okay then," she said, lifting the tray off my lap a
Focus, Rhea. Focus.Re-evaluation of financial assets. I vividly remembered being taught how to do this but sitting here with the blank pages of my laptop staring back at me, I wasn't sure I knew how anymore. Or at least had the capacity to actually focus.I picked up my coffee and took a sip. The heat stung my tongue but I downed it anyway."Are you done with that?" Angela asked from behind me."Still working on it," I replied, setting the cup down and stretching my fingers over the keyboard like I was about to do something meaningful."You've been working on that since you came in."Right. I'd been trying not to look at the time since I got here and if you asked me I'd say I'd been sitting here for three miserable days.I typed gibberish. "I'll be done soon."With this speed, I had no idea what I meant by soon.She grabbed the back of my chair and spun it around to face her. I let her. Angela was a Black American woman in her mid-thirties and the only person at Blackridge I actually
I was drowning. The water sat inches from my nose, but I couldn't move, my hands and legs felt paralyzed, like an anchor was lashed to my ankle, dragging me down inch by inch until the water poured into my lungs. And every time it did, a hand would close around my arm and pull me out, and for one second I'd think it was finally over. Then they'd let go, and I'd sink all over again.This time the hand grabbed me and hauled me upward, but my eyes stayed shut. I tried to lift my own hand to brace myself against the surface, but before I could grip anything, the hand released me and I was falling back, faster than the last two hundred times. I reached out to my sides, searching for something to hold onto, but there was nothing there. Before I could process it, my back slammed against the surface of the water and my eyes snapped open.The bright lights stung my eyes, sharp and disorienting, and I narrowed them slightly to soften the glare. I sucked in enough air to fill my lungs and forced
I stared at the text I'd typed and erased it, then started again.ME: Did I do something?I deleted that one too and left the chat before I sent something I'd regret.This wasn't like him. He wouldn't just disappear. I'd gotten so used to him chasing me that I couldn't even consider the idea that he wasn't interested anymore. That should've been a relief, right? But somehow it just left a hollow ache behind my ribs that refused to move no matter how many times I told myself I didn't care.I opened my contacts and pulled out Maurice's number, the one I'd gotten from him on the island, and pressed dial, raising the phone to my ear. It rang once and I almost hung up. Twice, and my heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat, because I still hadn't figured out what I was going to say.I didn't even register the third ring before my stomach churned."Hello?" Maurice said when I didn't speak. A pause. "Rhea?"I opened my mouth. "Hi." It was the only word I could manage."Can I h
"I'm sorry," Mom murmured weakly. "I didn't mean to ruin your birthday.""Mom, you didn't ruin anything, okay?" Vanessa said softly, sitting beside her on the hospital bed."You should get some rest," I added, gently stroking her hair.She smiled faintly and took both Vanessa's hand and mine in her
I pushed myself off the bed. “You shouldn’t be in here.”He didn’t move. Didn’t even blink.My heart started pounding louder in my ears. “Get out of my room.”The silence after I said it felt heavier than his presence. I hated that I had to repeat myself in my head just to convince myself I meant i
Two months.I’d hidden my engagement for two monthsonly for it to be exposed on an Instagram Live.“I guess the cat’s finally out of the bag, huh?” Maurice said from the driver’s seat, trying to laugh it off.I turned my head slightly toward him.The humor drained from his face, and he focused bac
“I’m glad I’m finally spending time with my girls,” Mom said, a pleased smile resting on her lips as she stirred the mint leaves in her mojito. “Me too,” I replied, sipping my strawberry daiquiri. The cold sweetness melted across my tongue while the tiny slice of lime on the rim brushed my fingers







