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NicolaiLast night, Skye and I both said things we can’t take back, not without a serious discussion. She said Jaxon should move in. I’m still shaking my head, wondering what the actual fuck about that one. But then again, I said I wanted her to break the bond with Jaxon. I’m sure she feels the same way about that. But as soon as the words were out of our mouths, we looked at each other in the dark for a long moment before Skye said, "We're not going to do this right tonight." Not a question. An assessment. "We're both too tired and too—" she gestured at the general state of both of us, post-intimacy, both completely naked, a tangle of limbs, completely blissed out. "Tomorrow.""Tomorrow," I agreed immediately, always willing to give her what she needs but knowing we can’t put off that discussion forever.She fell asleep within minutes, almost like speaking the words allowed her to set down the weight of them. But I stayed awake somewhat longer, unable to turn off my mind until the e
SkyeNicolai stands and undresses for me, exposing every hard earned muscle and well-defined line. He’s sexy as fuck and it takes effort not to drool. Then he finally tosses his boxers aside and my mouth is watering all over again. His cock is stunning, long and thick and ridged with veins. He watches me staring and a pearly bead of cum forms at the tip under the heat of my gaze. Suddenly, tasting him is the only thing I want more than to feel him inside me. I’m up and reaching for him before I even decide to move but he knocks my hand away. “Next time.” He grunts like he’s barely holding on himself. “This time is all about you.”He climbs up the bed, stretching the full length of his body on top of mine, his hard length nestled perfectly between my thighs. And kisses me until I forget my own name. Then, just when I’ve worked myself to another peak from grinding frantically against his cock, he flips us and lifts me to straddle him.“Ride me.” He demands. “I want to watch your glori
Skye Nicolai lifts me up and urges my legs around his waist, then carries me to the bedroom. Not rushed, just moving leisurely as we taste each other thoroughly. The pace of two people who have nothing to prove and nowhere to be except here.He kicks the door closed behind us and slowly sets me on my feet, letting my body slide against every delicious inch of his. He gazes down at me in the low light, and his expression is something I've seen before and never gotten used to—the way he looks at me in those rare moments when he lets go of control, like he wants to devour me."Come here," he says, walking to stand by the bed.Two words. But the tone of his voice says he means them entirely and is not to be questioned. I cross the room to him, my body already cold with him no longer pressed against me. But the moment I reach him, he takes my face in both hands and kisses me again, slowly, thoroughly, in the way that says I have time and you are worth all of it. And just like that, I feel
SkyeBenji is asleep before midnight for the first time in eight weeks. I stand in the kitchen, and register this fact the way you register something you stopped believing in—with suspicion first, then cautious acknowledgment, then something close to wonder.The monitor is quiet. Actually quiet. Not the held-breath quiet of a baby who's about to wake, but the deep, even breathing of a small person who has, for reasons entirely his own, decided that tonight he'll sleep before midnight.I stand at the counter in the dark kitchen eating toast over the sink and think, this is the best toast I’ve ever had. I feel, for the first time in eight weeks, like a person who exists in a body rather than a mechanism for keeping a newborn alive. And that feeling just makes everything better. Even toast. That feeling lasts all of five minutes before my brain, released from the immediate tyranny of feeding schedules and sleep windows and decoding the specific register of Benji's various complaints, ca
JaxonMy conversation with Noah plays on a loop in my head until I’m dizzy with it. I've already been on the road for an hour when I finally decide enough is enough and make a decision. And I don't let myself think about it long enough to change my mind. I just turn the car around.My first call is to Noah, letting him know I won’t be coming home today after all. Then I dial the Woolf estate to let them know I’m on my way back, hoping some advance notice rather than just reappearing on their doorstep will work in my favor.When I arrive, Skye is in the sitting room nursing our son. She looks up from the feeding with a mix of curiosity and a slight tinge of embarrassment. She looks gorgeous like this and I almost forget what I’m doing here. When I finally find my voice, I start to blurt an excuse. "I forgot my—" I stop myself before I can finish the lie. "No I didn't. I have a question."Skye settles Benji more comfortably and gives me her full attention. "Okay."I sit down across fro
Jaxon Eight weeks have flown by in the blink of an eye. I can’t believe how much my son has grown in that short period of time. I also can’t believe how much I’ve already missed. Every day he’s doing something new. Something he wasn’t doing when I left the day before. And it guts me that I’m not there to see it.When Skye walked away from me at the same moment I realized I couldn’t live without her, I thought that was the worst thing I’d ever have to face. I was wrong. Because as much as I loved her, still love her, it’s nothing compared to the profound loss I feel every time I have to kiss Benji goodbye.He’s developed his own little personality, full of coos and cries that mean something. He’s even starting to smile. And he has, as I discovered two days ago and have not yet finished processing, a strong preference for Nicolai Woolf's baritone.I was holding him while he cried. Doing everything I've learned in eight weeks of nearly daily visits—the right angle, the right rhythm, the
JaxonBenjamin Marco, my son, weighs seven pounds and has his mother's eyes and my mouth and has been in the world for approximately eleven minutes when I understand, with complete and devastating clarity, everything I threw away. Everything I could never fully comprehend until this very moment. I
SkyeThe dynamic between Jaxon and Nicolai settles into something functional. Not by design. By necessity—mine, specifically, which is the only currency that matters in this room right now.Jaxon is on my left. Nicolai is on my right. They take their places wordlessly and seem to accept the other’s
SkyeFrom the minute I crawled out of bed after breathing through the first contraction, to the time NIcolai woke to find me bracing myself in the bathroom doorway, it seems fifteen minute pain intervals have become ten. And I want to find the person who wrote the chapter on early labor being a cha
Jaxon "I still love you." I blurt out of nowhere. It comes out without strategy. Without the careful construction I usually apply to things I say to her. Just the truth, with nowhere to put it. What the fuck was I thinking? But it’s too late to take it back. "I know I don't deserve another chanc







