PUSH AND REBOUND

EDDY

Our eyes met.

She was standing there, nak*d, and covered in sweat. Her stare was uneasy as they flickered against mine.

It looked as though she was doing something she shouldn't be doing. I wondered what it could be.

My eyes shifted to the small heap of her costume for the night on the floor. Wet and abandoned with contempt, most likely.

I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face.

After tonight's incident, I wanted to meet Lola. 

Not because I was concerned about whatever it was she felt, I just thought she might have a lot to say to me, and I'd rather take that before the break of the next day.

Her sight disgusted me, reminding me of why I had to make a decision to be stuck with her for life, against my will.

"I can see you are doing good. Hot shower. Happy vibes. No worries," I clicked my teeth.

Pain paired with hatred glistened in her eyes as she stared hard on.

I knew that feeling because I have felt it ever since I knew myself as a person. She had no idea.

"Am I wrong?" I propped my head forward, peering more into her eyes as they threatened to swallow me whole.

She didn't lift a muscle. She just kept staring, her breathing growing harder with the way her chest rose and fell.

I sighed.

"I mean, think about it. I knew you would have done better if the stitches didn't----"

"EDDY!!!!!!"

Her voice, which was a sudden bash, dense and long, rang harshly against my ear drums, causing me to tilt my head in a subconscious effort to dampen its effect.

Her breathing was an uncontrolled mess as she glared hard at me, every possible part of her body vibrating.

Within me, I was fighting a deliberate war not to lash out harshly on her.

She has no idea what her presence in my life has changed and how much I have to sacrifice to keep that balance.

"I want a divorce," she blurted out, like it was her first time suggesting it.

It was funny. My expression broke into a mocking laughter — that's exactly how she'd interpret it.

What Lola would never know was that even I have tried too.

If divorce was possible, she wouldn't be standing in front of me.

So, right about now, she was trying to mock me — that was exactly how I interpreted it.

I snarled, biting down on my teeth to keep my emotional rage from exploding.

Lola already made the headlines. It wouldn't be too great if she pops up again for something even crazier than the first.

"Do you think you can have some shame and find some clothes?" I nibbled on my words, like even talking about her disgusted me.

"Is there really more you can do to me?" 

Her response came almost immediately, one would think she had rehearsed for the moment.

Lola could be unfazed with her responses some times, and so timid to even look me in the eyes on other times.

It makes me feel I am not doing enough. Knowing that threatens me, and my position in all of this.

I swallowed, adjusting my stance, ready to give her a taste of what she was desperately asking for.

"Whatever has happened to you, I'm not sorry, but it is all your fault."

Her glare widened, like she was actually lost on what I was talking about.

"You know what to do. Don't sit back on your task and heap the blame on me when things start to go wrong."

My voice was hard against my throat, and I was becoming impatient trapped in the bathroom on account of such meaningless conversation.

Lola shook her head as if discouraging herself from saying the first set of words that had hit her tongue.

"Call your lawyer. Let's get a divorce," she pulled violently, her body swaying in line with the rising and falling of her tone.

"Your opinions became totally useless when you agreed to marry me," I blurted out in response.

My ear caught the faint sound of her breathing dip, and for all I cared, she could drop right there and I wouldn't even move a muscle.

"What will you have me---"

"Shush! Shuuuuush! Don't do that, okay? You've come too far to give up on happiness. Own it. Don't let it go," I continued, moving in closer to where she stood.

Her eyes were glossy with tears and her boldness visibly withered.

She continued to take one step after another backwards as I continued to move in on her.

When she exhausted the space behind her, her back crashed against the wall, her hand grabbing the base of the wash hand basin, knocking over the tube of mouth wash.

I stared at her trembling fingers, and the way her flesh bulged out along her hand.

"I am convinced getting stuck with you is the greatest punishment I have ever had to endure," I said, meaning every single word.

There was no way my father didn't know what he was doing.

"Then, let me go. Eddy---please," her voice trailed off, broken, exhausted.

I didn't look at her face.

"I want to, but you're not helping me here," I replied, my words as cold as my heart felt, barely above a whisper.

Frustration clawed at my stomach as my eyes moved along her body — her neck, her shoulders and then, down her lower parts.

Lola had clear skin. Not like I care. I probably have seen her nak*d a thousand and one times, but I never took my time to check her out.

She was big, but her curves were distinct and perfectly positioned.

"Is there something else I can do? Connor doesn't seem like he is going to ever yield."

Her voice was firm, her words tight. I could sense the determination to escape to a safer space than she was at the moment.

But...

F*ck you, Lola!

You should have been able to stop this.

If I wasn't, it meant you most definitely was able, but you didn't.

You saw an opportunity to dig wealth, and went heads on without considering the risk.

You are going to have to bear the consequences of the situation you started until I am able to find a way out finally.

"Make him. Freedom has never been easy," I replied, calmly, breathing in every other word I would have said.

I could imagine her eyes flickering in confusion, her chest rising and falling to my words which were way more threatening than they sounded.

I continued to trail my eyes along her body, looking for the moment where I got captivated in the slightest, enough to make me want to even consider a moment with her, enough to make me not see her as the cause and the enemy, but I couldn't find any.

As long as this marriage was concerned, to me, Lola was ridiculous and just another means to remind me of how inefficient and dependent I was as a Langford.

"If I were you, I would think harder on how to make things work," I snapped, gritting my teeth as I proceeded out of the bathroom, frustration burning through my chest.

I knew I had pushed Lola, and I couldn't wait for a rebound.