Chapter Four

[Enna's POV]

"TUMAYO kana diyan! Naka sampung test kit na tayo pero waley, positive parin!" nasapo ni Mikey ang ulo niya. "Bakit ba kasi ipinasok ng call boy na yun ang semilya niya? Pwede namang ilabas!Hay!"

"A-ano na ang ga-gawin ko ngayon...M-mikey? Si-guradong papatayin ako ni Papa kapag nalaman niyang nabuntis ako ng ibang guy..." Inihilig ko ang ulo ko sa gilid ng toilet bowl at tuluyan na akong napahagulhol.

After running here kanina to puke, Mikey came in right away para sana ako sabunutan pero hindi niya ginagawa because I was puking helplessly in the toilet bowl, sprawled like a beated cat. Akala ko nga I was going to die na dahil sa dami ng sinuka ko.

One of the coffee shop personnel also came in after Mikey to check on me. Pinulsuhan niya lang ako then she told me na buntis daw ako. Since there was a pharmacy near the shop, pinabili niya doon si Mikey ng pregnancy test kit just to confirm.

Sadly, the test all came out positive because there were two red lines from all of the sticks I peed in.

Paano na ako nito ngayon?

I only did what I thought was best para hindi matuloy ang engagement namin ni Ashton-I let a stranger popped my kitty. Pero bakit pa ito kailangang mangyari? Bakit kailangan ko pang maging preggy?

Ang dami dami ko pang mga pangarap!

Gusto ko pang magtravel abroad! Titira pa dapat ako ng New York ng isang taon para mag-take ng crash course sa fashion. After ng isang taon ay sa Paris naman ako titira to make use of the things I learned from studying in New York. I'll work with one of the famous designers there panga as a mentee until I'll be ready to confidently showcase my talent in designing. Magpapatayo pa nga ako ng sarili kong signature's boutique. At magiging sikat na fashion at beauty blogger pa ako!

Pa'no ko gagawin lahat ng iyon if my baby na ako? Hindi pa nga ako nakakahawak ng baby eh.

"Wala na tayong magagawa, Amega. Tanggapin mo nalang ang kapalaran mo. Mamatay ka kung mamatay. Diba, iyan naman ang gusto mo?" sagot ni Mikey sa tanong ko.

Sinapak ko ang tuhod niya. "Ang bad bad mo talaga! Kasalanan mo 'to eh! Pinagahasa mo ako sa call boy nayun!"

"Huy, anong pinagahasa? Ikaw ang may gusto niyan. Tinulungan lang kita. Ang sabihin mo, masyado kang nasarapan kay Kuya! Kaya iyan, instant baby!"sabi niya at nagbunot ng cellphone.

Ginusto ko ba iyon? Hindi ko nga masyadong matandaan kung anong nangyari. And he forced me to take that pill kaya!

"Mikey..."

"Sshhh! Huwag kanang ngumawa at tatawagan ko si Kuya. Mas mabuti nang malaman niya para may kasama kang mamatay kung sakaling papatayin ka nga ng Papa mo, "sabi niya at napatingin sa phone.

I dried my tears at sinubukan kong tumayo kahit naubos ang buong energy ko sa pag-puked ko kanina.

"B-bakit ka may number niya?" I asked habang nagsi-sigok sigok. Baka siguro nag-talk sila ni Mikey nung nasa hospital ako. Siya nga daw nag-pay sa ginasto ko nun sabi ni Mikey. Siguro ay masyado lang siyang naguilty kaya niya iyon ginawa.

"Aba, prospect si Kuya. Hindi lang hottie, total performer pa! Kitang kita naman ang ebidensiya, diba? Warak ang kittycat mo pero halata namang sarap na sarap ka! Baka lang sakaling gusto mo pa ng second session. At baka pwede ring ako naman ang magpagahasa sa kanya," he retorted and laughed flirtatiously.

"Ang gross mo, Mikey! Hindi iyon pumapatol sa gay. He's straight!" I defended. I have a gut feeling that he was straight. And I don't want to think that those sinful red lips I tasted had kissed a number of guys. Or those hands that left trails onto my skin had touched a man's body. I mean, I have nothing against gays. I love my bestfriend pero I just can't associate that call boy with those things. I'd still like to think that he was a straight guy.

"Aba, possessive lang ang peg? Pa'no mo nalaman, aber? Nandun kaba nung nag perform siya sa mga naging customer niya dati?" he raised his one brow.

"I just knew. He's straight!" I answered and raised a hand to carefully dry my tears. Good thing I used waterproof mascara. I'm just a little worried lang kasi kapapalagay ko lang false eyelashes ko yesterday.

Winagayway ni Mikey ng maarte ang hand niya. "Fine! Wala naman na akong planong tikman si Mister Kitty Wrecker lalo na ngayong na disgrasya kana ng sledgehammer niya. Sayong sayo na siya!" Sikmat niya sa'kin at idinikit na yung phone sa tenga niya.

"K-kailangan mo ba talaga siyang ta-wagan?" tanong ko.

"Sshhh!" Mikey pressed his index finger in front of his lips.

"Hello?" maarteng sabi ni Mikey." Mister uhmm...Kitty Wrecker?"

Napalunok ako habang tinitingnan siya.

"Mikey...hindi na-" tinakpan niya ang labi ko.

Mikey's forehead creased at napataas ang kilay niya.

"Sino ka?"

"Mikey..."

"Shhh...."Pinanlakihan niya ako ng mga mata and he mouthed me to shut up. "Sino?! Black Jack? Well Black Jack, kailangan kong makausap ang may-ari nitong Phone...Yes...Mikho...he is...saan? Nagdadasal sa kumbento?Hindi pwede? Kailangan namin siyang makausap ng personal ngayon....Urgent matter. Paki sabi sa kanya this is between life and death...Saan ba iyang kumbentong iyan?" he asked impatiently. "Yung address baby boy dahil marami ang seminary schools dito sa Cebu..."naiirita na niyang itinirik ang mga mata. "Uhuh...okay... thanks! Bye!" he huffed and rolled his eyeballs saka siya napatingin sa'kin. "Ang weird ng Mikho na ito, ha? Hindi daw pwedeng istorbohin dahil naglalakad daw na nakaluhod sa kumbento. At itong Black Jack naman na ito nakakaloka! Hindi ko alam kung sinto-sinto o nag bi-babytalk lang. Parang temang lang!" he said as if talking to himself.

"A-ano ba kasing plano mo, Mikey? Bakit mo naman siya tinawagan?" I asked while fixing my skirt. Nagka-creased na tuloy yung skirt ko. Buti nalang walang puke yung shirt ko.

"Basta! Siya na ang magiging sagot mo diyan sa problema mo. Halika na at pupuntahan na natin iyong address na binigay sa'kin ni Black Jack," sabi niya at hinila na ako palabas ng banyo.

Naguguluhang sumunod naman ako sa kanya. Mag-re-retouch pa sana ako pero I'll do that inside the car nalang.

[Mikho's POV]

GOD

forgive me for I can't muster the courage to confess to my superiors. Alam kong wala akong karapatang humingi ng pabor sa Inyo dahil sa kasalanang nagawa ko pero sana bigyan Niyo po ako ng lakas ng loob ngayon na sabihin sa kanila ang totoo. You know the desires of my heart and You knew that it was never my intention to betray You. I was tempted and I regret it with--

"Kuya Mikho!"

I took a sigh and resumed the prayer in my head when Black Jack spoke again. Now, he was right behind me, tapping my shoulder.

"Kuya Mikho! May tumawag po sa phone. Kagaya po kay Father Mario ang boses. Sabi niya po....ano po...ano... life and death. Papatayin daw po niya kayo! Urgent po daw Kuya!"

I gasped and stood up from the altar to face Black Jack. Baka nakuha na naman niya ito sa mga pinapanood niya. Aside from his autism ay inaatake rin siya ng hyperactivity kung minsan.

"Pare, nagdadasal ako. Mamaya mo na ako kulitin. Maglaro ka nalang ng snake diyan sa cellphone," I patted his head. I lent him my phone dahil paborito niyang laruin ang snake game at para hindi niya ako kulitin. Lucky him I was the only seminarian who owns a thirty three ten Nokia phone. Most of the seminarians here either use smart phones or android.

"Kuya, totoo po. Binigay ko nga po ang address dito kasi po baka patayin rin po niya ako kapag 'di ko binigay," he handed me the phone with his shaking hand. "A-alis na po ako kuya. A-yoko pa pong ma-matay," he shakily said and ran panickedly outside the church.

I sighed while looking at his departing figure and kissed the rosary on my neck. I knelt down again in front of the altar and whispered a little prayer before I exited the church.

After contemplating last night, I decided that I will talk to my superiors today.

God may have mercy on me.

Nagdilig muna ako ng halaman sa harap ng kumbento para kalmahin ang sarili ko. Today might be the end of my life as a seminarian. Or if I am lucky, I might still live the life that I have always wanted and become a priest in the next five months. Whatever will be the outcome, I will have to accept it with all my heart. It's for God to decide. And I knew He always decides for the good.

"Mikho!" I was snapped out of my thoughts when I saw Manong Teddy running towards me. He was heaving when he stopped. "M-may naghahanap na babae at mukhang binabae sa iyo sa labas ng gate. Naka baby bra at naka uniform yung babae na kulay dilaw ang buhok. Iyong binabae maskulado at kulay pula ang buhok, may tattoo na ahas sa kaliwang braso. Sabi nung lalaki, magsasampa daw sila ng kasong rape kapag hindi ka nagpakita sa kanila."

Shit! I cursed inwardly, regretting because I just prayed for my sins earlier. That explains why Black Jack was panicking. He wasn't in his hyperactive mode. He did speak with that gay guy friend of that girl.

"May iba pa po bang nakaka-alam nito, Manong?" I asked, frustratedly combing my fingers through my hair.

"Ako lang naman ang nasa gate. Pero totoo ba iyong sinabi nung lalaki? Nang-rape ka?" he looked at me with uncertainty.

"I don't know, Manong Ted," I heaved out and cursed at myself again. This was entirely my fault. I am now reaping the consequences of my sins.

I walked towards the seminary's main gate, following Manong Ted instead of walking to my superior's offices. Mabuti nalang morning ang shift ni Manong Ted at siya ang naka assign sa main gate ngayon. My hands were cold while sweats were dripping down my forehead. I don't know what my parents will think of me if ever I'll be charged with a rape case. Raf had his share of almost the same trouble and just got out of his fix years ago. Mom and dad had their fine share of trauma the past years at ayoko nang dagdagan pa ang mga iyon.

I took a deep breath and prayed when we both stood in front of the gate. God, please don't tell me it's not what I think it is. Tatanggapin ko po kahit anong parusa niyo. But not a rape case, please...

Manong Ted opened the gate to me. There were two cars outside. One was the weird looking car I drove a month ago. The other was a red car with a bunny's ears on its head. Someone came down from the latter's driver's seat. The gay guy. He walked and stood in front of me.

"Hi! Long time no see. Siguro naalala mo pa ako?" he smiled, surveying his eyes from my feet to my face. "Hindi na lugi ang kaibigan ko sa'yo. You're in your worn out clothes pero ang hot mo parin. Gwapo, mukhang mabait, at mukhang masipag kanama--"

"Look, if you're planning to file me a case. I swear, I did not do anything that your friend never liked. I did everything with her consent. I only did what she'd asked me to do." Hindi ako komportableng sabihin ito but I have the need to justify myself.

"Taray! Nag no-nosebleed ako sa'yo, ha! Ikaw lang ang kilala kong call boy na sobrang Englisero, " he said and motioned his hand in the air. "Madali naman kaming kausap. Hindi kami magsasampa ng demanda kung papanagutan mo ang kaibigan ko. She's pregnant, you're the father at kailangan mo siyang pakasalan. Ngayon din!"

"Sus Ginoo!" gulat na sabi ni Manong Ted sa likod ko habang nabato naman ako sa kinatatayuan ko. I stared blankly with incredulity at the open space of the road, processing what this gay guy had told me.

Did I just hear I thought I didn't want to hear? I felt like heaven and earth had collapsed and hit right through me, shattering all the plans, the dreams, the expectations that I shaped and built through the years. This was the end of me.

God, have I sinned too much?

"You need to come with us or else we'll go straight to one of the police stations and file you a case. I have your picture, I have your number at ngayon alam ko narin kung saan ka mahahanap. Siguro naman lahat ng tao dito kilala ka? Hindi mo naman siguro gugustuhing malaman nila na isa kang rapist? Hindi mo rin alam kung ano ang pwedeng gawin ng daddy ni Enna oras na malaman niya ito. He can put you behind bars without fair trial. Or worse, pwede ka niyang ipa-salvage," he threatened and gave me a warning smile.

Napapikit ako at nasapo ang ulo ko. My parents had been through a lot and I couldn't imagine bringing another shame to the family. "There must be another option. I can't marry her. I'll be ordai--"

"Are you suggesting to abort the baby?" he cocked a brow, putting a hand in one of his waists.

"Hindi iyan ang ibig kong sabihin--"

"Mikey!" a sweet chiming familiar voice called out. Natigilan ako at napalingon sa pinanggalingan ng boses. It was little barbie. She had a worried look while she fixed her little skirt. Was that even a skirt? Kaunting ihip ng hangin ay pwede nang makita ang kaselanan niya. And Manong Ted wasn't exaggerating when he said about the baby bra thing. I don't understand women nowadays. Those clothes should have never passed through standards.

"Huwag kanang magsalita, Amega. You stay inside the car. Ako na ang makikipag negotiate dito kay, Mister Kitty Wrecker," her gay friend told her and gazed back at me. "Kailangan mo nang sumama sa amin ngayon kasi five pm ang appointment niyo sa Tito kong judge."

"W-what?" marahas ko na naipadaan ang mga kamay ko sa ulo ko. "Kailangan natin itong pag- usapan.

And I need to make sure that the baby is mine," I gasped and looked at the girl helplessly who was now lighting a cigar.

"Huy babaeta! Itapon mo 'yan! Bawal sa'yo 'yan!" saway ng kaibigan niya na napabaling muli ang atensiyon sa kanya.

"Pero nasusuka ako, Mikey!"she stomped her foot like the brat looking girl that she was.

"Itapon mo 'yan! Gusto mo bang maging bulag, pipi, bungi o 'di kaya'y bingi ang anak mo?!"

She pursed her lips and batted her lashes to her friend bago niya tinapon ang sigarilyo.

I massaged my head dahil nagsisimula ng sumakit ang ulo ko. Tell me, how am I going to marry a girl like her? I'd rather babysit a small baby than babysit an overgrown brat like her. The woman was by no doubt a handful.

And why am I even considering this? A wedding will not be an option.

"We'll talk this through," sabi ko sa bading niyang kaibigan saka ako tumalikod para lapitan si Manong Ted. Nagpaalam ako na sasama sa kanila sandali. Nakakaintindi namang tumango si Manong Ted at nangakong hindi magsusumbong sa mga superiors ko. Mabuti nalang at recreation day namin ngayon at walang mga pastoral activities at lectures.

"Doon kana kay Enna sumakay. Sundan niyo nalang ako. Doon na tayo mag usap sa bahay ni Tito," the gay guy told me bago siya naglakad at pumasok sa pula niyang sasakyan.

He left me with no choice but to ride with the girl.

[ Enna's POV]

HE was so silent while I'm driving. Tanging buntong hininga lang niya ang naririnig ko.

Mikho...

Ang hot ng pangalan niya infairness. Bagay sa kanya. Kasing hottie niya rin. He's almost perfect na nga eh. Gwapo siya, mukhang mabait naman, mukhang matalino, kaya lang he's not lucky to be born with a silver spoon. Poor si Kuya. Kaya siguro he resorted in selling his body kahit may pinag aralan siya. Medyo malaki siguro ang kinikita niya sa pag co-callboy. To think na may day job din siya sa isang seminaryo ha!

Nakakaawa nga siya kasi masyado ng worn out yung blue shirt na suot niya ngayon. Faded na tapos may mga butas pa. Tapos yung jeans niya, worn out narin masyado. And pft, his phone?! I saw it kanina kasi may parang ti-next siya. I'm not sure kung anong model iyon pero mukhang ancient na. Nakakatawag at nakakatext ba talaga iyon?

I have five phones at lahat latest models ng ibat ibang top brands ng phones. Bilhan ko kaya siya mamaya ng iphone?

I slowed down Moley kasi tumigil na ang car ni Mikey sa harap ng isang malaking gate. By the way, Moley's the name of my car.

Bumuntot ako kay Mikey at ipinasok ko ang sasakyan sa kakabukas lang na gate.

Napahinga ako ng malalim ng naipark ko na ito sa garage ng mansion. Hindi parin nagsasalita si... Kuya Mikho or was it better to call him Mikho nalang? Mag ti-ten years din kasi ang age gap namin pero hindi naman halata kasi hottie siya.

I took a deep breath and decided to open the car handle when I heard his soft but deep voice.

"Enna right?" he muttered my name so endearingly. Ang sosyal pakinggan ng name ko coming from him.

Dahan dahan naman akong napalingon sa kanya at napatango. Nagtama ang mga mata namin. Sandali lang niya akong tiningnan. He had a worrisome look. Tapos ibinaling niya agad sa front ang mga mata niya.

"Tell me, did I rape you, Enna?"

Napalunok ako. "Hindi ko alam. I can't remember anything," sagot ko nalang kahit yung iba natatandaan ko naman.

Mikey told me about his plan kanina sa phone while we're on our way to the seminary. Honestly, I don't know if this was the best way at nagiguilty ako para sa kanya pero may choice pa ba ako? May tiwala naman ako kay Mikey so I'll go with the flow nalang.

Kumatok si Mikey sa car window ko. Binuksan ko naman iyon. "Amega, bumaba na kayo diyan. Mamaya na kayo magtitigan. Naghihintay na si Tito sa study," mataray niyang sabi. "Doon na kayo mag-usap."

I almost rolled my eyes at him. Bumaba ako at bumaba narin si Mikho and we followed Mikey to the study.

"Tito Gretch!" Mikey greeted the old man na maybe about his fifties na naka upo sa isang malaking table nang makapasok na kami sa study ng bahay. I haven't seen him before. Ngayon palang.

Tumayo siya ng makita kami at umikot sa table at bineso si Mikey."Mabuti naman at maaga kayong nakarating." Napatitig si Tito Gretch sa akin. "You must be, Enna?" sabi niya.

I nodded my head and smiled. Tapos, he averted his eyes towards Mikho and ngumiti siya ng I don't know but it was a meaningful smirk. Like malandi. Like Mikey, gay din kasi siya."You must be the groom?" ngiti niya kay Mikho.

Napalingon ako kay Mikho and he was wearing a serious look.

Umalon ang adam's apple niya. "I came here because I wanted to clarify things and not to get married," he firmly stated and looked at me. "I'm not even sure if the baby you are carrying is mine, Enna."

Napaawang ang lips ko. Was he insulting me?

"Excuse me! I had ten boyfriends pero yung doggie mo lang ang nakapasok sa kitty ko!" I can't believe this! I thought he wasn't a bastard! "Nakalimutan mo nabang ikaw ang nakawasak sa kitty ko?!" naiiyak kong hissed sa kanya.

"Didn't you have anyone after me?" he asked na mukhang hindi parin naniniwala.

"How dare you! Hindi ako mag wi-waste ng energy para puntahan ang isang poor na kagaya mo if hindi ikaw ang father nitong baby na dinadala ko! Akala mo ba gusto ko rin 'to? I just got out of college. Marami pa akong gustong gawin sa life ko at marami pa akong mga pangarap! And marrying a poor like you is not even an option pero I will do it for my baby," tuluyan na akong napa-iyak. I have no intention of insulting him pero nasaktan kasi ako sa sinabi niya.

" I'm sorry, I didn't ask those to offend you," he softly said at apologetic akong tiningnan pero inismiran ko siya. Napasapo siya sa ulo niya. "Can you give me sometime para mapag isipan ko ito?" he asked.

"Pasensiya kana pero wala na kaming oras na pwedeng ibigay sa'yo. It's either you will marry her now or we'll file a case against you at ipapakalat namin hindi lang dito sa Cebu kundi sa buong Pilipinas na isa kang rapist. You choose," sabi ni Mikey na lumapit na ngayon sakin para aluin ako. "Hush hush, Amega."

Napasabunot siya sa buhok niya while looking at us with disbelief. He had a face of a criminal who looks as if he was about to be sentenced to death. Biglang bumara ang lalamunan ko, nakukonsensiya ako. We were forcing him to marry me and giving him no choice at all. Baka kagaya ko ay marami rin siyang mga pangarap, o baka may girlfriend pala siya, o worst asawa.

This was so pathetic and so selfish of me. Gagamitin ko lang siya for me to get away with my engagement and soon to be arranged marriage with Ashton. Siguro, I will find another way nalang and let him go.

"Ano na? Are we going to start the wedding? It's already four-thirty. May appointment pa ako ng five-thirty. Make up your mind, guys," sabi ni Tito Gretch.

I took a deep inhale to loosen up the heaviness in my chest bago ako nagsalita. Pero hindi ko paman nabubuka ang bibig ko ay nagsalita na siya.

"Alright. I'll marry you..."