5: He doesn't deserve my tears

Fiona’s POV

“The boyfriend of the patient in ward 302 is so handsome!” I overheard two nurses gossiping in the hallway.

I’d just had that blowout in Ross’s hospital room: Sebastian, the man I’d been married to for years, doubting me like that, thinking I could drive Ross to suicide just because she was his first love.

I mean, after three years of sharing a home, a life… he still didn’t know me? Didn’t know my character, and doubted me anyway?

Sure, I was heartbroken over the divorce and his blind devotion to his ex, but please, that didn’t give him any reason to think I wanted her dead.

And now these two nurses were saying things that made me feel anything but happy.

Ward 302? The same room where Ross was?

“He’s gorgeous and super-rich. It’s Sebastian Blackwood, the president of that famous luxury group,” they continued in hushed, excited tones.

“No way! Last Valentine’s Day, I saw him give that beautiful patient a huge bouquet of roses. They looked so sweet together. I bet they’ll get married soon.”

“Maybe we’ll see the billionaire reveal his secret lover in the headlines any day now,” they giggled expectantly.

My steps froze. My heart twisted with a sharp stab of pain.

My marriage to Sebastian was a secret, by contract. We never appeared together in public. No one knew he and I were married except our families and close friends.

My mom had hated the idea of me marrying him under a contract, she said I deserved to marry for true love, but she knew I’d been in love with Sebastian since high school, so I was willing to take any kind of marriage just to be his.

So he never announced my existence to the world.

Sebastian lost his sight in an accidental fall. His temper turned irritable and aggressive. He couldn’t accept the truth and even started losing hope in life.

His grandmother was deeply worried and decided to find a bride to help care for him and get him through the tough times. Sebastian was completely against it, but he didn’t want to disobey Grandma. He loved her more than himself.

I married him out of courage and desire for him, but I was never what Sebastian wanted. I was available, but never the one he truly desired.

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks.

I shouldn’t have hoped he’d ever love me.

Sebastian only cared about the woman he loved.

And it had always been her. Ross.

The nurses noticed my distress and stopped talking. They must have wondered why this random woman suddenly started crying.

They didn’t know I was Sebastian’s hidden wife. No one did. That’s why they were rooting for Ross and Sebastian’s love, because for her, he had no problem showing the world, making public gestures of affection, like the flowers he gave her on Valentine’s Day.

I was just an out-of-place stranger in that moment, never acknowledged as his wife, always living in his shadow, never loved, never valued.

I was on the verge of collapsing right there, and I knew if I started sobbing in public, I’d make a fool of myself. So I hurried past them, my steps growing heavier.

My heart felt heavy, betrayed. More tears streamed down my face, and I nearly cried out loud. My back hunched unconsciously, and I wrapped my arms tightly around my shoulders. The cold wind outside the hospital hit me, leaving me drained.

I didn’t want to remember the moments I’d felt hopeful that Sebastian was worth it—all the everyday things we shared: cooking together, sharing meals, smiles and little jokes, kisses and tenderness, passionate nights… All those memories were piling on top of each other, threatening to destroy me completely.

All this time, while I believed he saw me differently, he was still in touch with Ross, meeting her publicly, making her his official girlfriend, while I was at home, holding onto hope?

Sure, our marriage was contractual, but countless times he made me believe we could be so much more, that things were working out between us.

“I love your company, Fi,” he’d say, caressing my cheek and smiling beautifully at me, making me blush and my heart race. But that meant nothing, never did, since he seemed willing to move mountains for Ross.

I wiped my tears, feeling pathetic for being in such a pitiful state in public. I was the delusional one. Sebastian wasn’t to blame, he couldn’t help that I wanted more from him than he could give. After all, no one can control matters of the heart…

I stood up, my legs trembling from weakness. I urgently needed some energy to keep from sinking into despair.

I decided to go to a nearby café by the hospital, where I could warm up and have something hot, maybe that would make me feel better. “What can I get you, ma’am?” the waiter asked kindly.

“Could I have a cup of hot chocolate, a sandwich, and some cookies?” I requested with a faint smile.

The young man nodded. “I’ll make it extra special to cheer you up,” he grinned.

“Oh my God… how embarrassing,” I muttered, trying to wipe my face and pull myself together, my mascara was probably smeared everywhere.

“Don’t feel bad about crying,” he said empathetically, even though he didn’t have to. “Everyone has a breakdown now and then. The important thing is to get back up with your head held high.”

Those words, even from a stranger, were exactly what I needed to hear in that moment, like my guardian angel speaking through him to calm my heart. It comforted me in a way. “Thank you for the kindness,” I smiled, touched.

“No problem! But I’ve got something that tastes even better than words, I’ll be right back,” he said with a big smile before walking away, making me chuckle softly.

Moments later, he returned with my order, still playful, and wished me the best. My body gradually warmed with the rich, hot sips, and a smile began to play on my lips, the pain fading little by little.

Maybe I shouldn’t let this situation with Sebastian consume me so much. After all, a man who had no respect or consideration for me, to the point of dismissing me so pathetically despite years of commitment, he didn’t deserve my tears or my self-pity.

So I sat there, savoring the hot chocolate, enjoying the lively atmosphere of the café, customers eating and chatting, waiters bustling about, life flowing normally both inside and out. It gave me hope.

And in that moment, I missed someone. So I pulled out my phone and dialed the number I knew best.