10. Can't Sleep

The abandoned Ashley sat stunned in her chair.

A hollow breath escaped her lips.

She felt her resentment surging again and was hard to contain. That man had harassed her, and now he was insulting her by leaving her just like that—on a day like this. Not that she expected him to stay to accompany her, no. But at the very least, he could have had a bit of common sense. A little logic.

What if an acquaintance saw him wandering around outside? He had just apologized, and had just promised to be more careful. But the moment that girl appeared, he forgot everything and rushed to meet her. Completely wishy-washy and thoughtless.

It was a wonder how he had survived this long with such a mindset.

She had heard he was very intelligent. Even among his older brother and sister—both were famously skilled in politics, following in their father's footsteps—Josh was said to be even better. That’s why he was able to establish his own company. And it was not wrong though. As she remembered back when they were in school, he was always at the top, never once displaced. It made sense that he would maintain his aptitude for learning.

But what’s the use of living with a smart mind if it goes dumb the moment a girl is involved?

Ashley sighed repeatedly before entering the bedroom.

She changed out of her casual clothes into pajamas, turned off the lights, and threw herself onto the bed.

But remembering what happened to her there earlier made her jolt upright. Disgust curled in her stomach as she grabbed the messy blanket—the very same one Josh had touched. She shook it with all her strength, as if that would cleanse it of the filth things he had done to her. She felt sick, repulsed at the thought of sleeping on those marks. She might not sleep well because haunted by nightmares.

Yet, after cleaning the blanket and using it, she still couldn't fall asleep. Even after deciding to drag the heavy blanket along with the sheet set and mattress cover and replace it with the new one, she still couldn't sleep!

It didn't help at all.

Just closing her eyes was difficult. The moment she forced her eyelids shut, her eyeballs twitched and felt extremely tense. It was as if his eye muscles were pulling in opposite directions. She had no choice but to open her eyes wide, staring blankly at the dimly lit room.

She knew the problem was in her head. She knew that very well.

Too many things had happened today. And she wasn't even sure where to begin sorting and organizing them out—to unload them from her overcrowded mind so she could finally rest peacefully.

Because, in truth, it wasn't just her mind that was exhausted. Her body, too, felt completely drained.

All the effort she had put in for the past three months felt utterly futile.

At first, she hadn't cared much. She had thought her life would remain the same as before. Empty, devoid of family affection, treated like an outsider, and lonely. It had even crossed her mind that things she was about to face might get even more troublesome than before.

In the past, she never had to deal with mistreatment from her family because she lived far away. And even though she was living alone, she didn't truly feel lonely. There was Bella, who lived just across the street. That girl was always available whenever she needed her. Her presence in Ashley’s life was almost like her real sister. The good thing was, she had been able to enjoy her life comfortably. She just needed to stay within the general boundaries.

But marrying a man and moving back to Korea—who knew what awaited her? Her movements would be even more restricted as there will be many eyes and ears watching closely. And then there was the man who was supposed to be her husband. It was entirely possible that he and his family would treat her the way her own family did. Living under the same roof in such a relationship would be suffocating.

Then when she finally met the man she was set up with, her heart became a little concerned about this arranged marriage.

There was history between them, a past that made her think this arranged marriage might not be that bad. Back in school, they had been quite close. She had even once had a crush on him, though those feelings had remained unspoken and eventually faded. But when she saw him again after all these years, she felt something. The fluttering warmth of being around him might still linger.

His attitude, his care—everything he had shown during their time together to prepare for the wedding. Also the treatment that turned out to be so much better than her expectations, made her care for the marriage plan even more.

Especially when he clearly stated that he had no intention of rejecting the marriage and hoped Ashley would try with him, settled a tiny flicker of hope in her heart.

And then, that hope had lulled her into believing, into daring to think, that she could get something more than just a business marriage from Josh.

That thought had left her quite excited. And exhausted.

Who would’ve thought she was the only one who felt that excitement and exhaustion?

After failing to fall asleep, she tried distracting her mind by playing games on her phone, browsing online stores, scrolling through social media without purpose. But no matter what she did, sleepiness never came.

She even considered calling Bella just to chat. But with all her common sense she quickly held back. Bella would definitely overthink things if she called her on the night like, and worse—this late. Of course Ashley couldn't let others speculate badly about her or her marriage. Even if it was Bella.

Irritated and frustrated, she decided to get up, left her room, and turned on the television in the living room.