Treacherous Riptides of Desire

“¡Hija de puta, Juana!”Sunod-sunod na kalansing ng kubyertos ang narinig ko, padabog na tinabing ni Papa ang plato kaya kumalat ang mga bubog sa sahig.“Anim! Anim na taon na simula nung umalis ka sa lugar na ‘yon at lumayo!” I can already see where this is going. His daily sermon of reminding me how I messed up my life. “Kung ang bawat galaw mo ay dini-depende mo pa rin sa lalaking ‘yon, dapat ay sumama ka nalang sa anak mo nung nawala siya!” His last remarks triggered me.“Utang na loob, Pa! Do you hear yourself? Alam ko ang nagawa ko! Alam ko ang pagkakamali ko and I regret it every single time.” I shouted, making him stop.“Sa totoo lang, Pa… Sa ating dalawa, ako ang mas may karapatan na ungkatin ang nakaraan. Dahil kung hindi dahil sa’yo… Kung hindi dahil sa inyo, Julia should've been alive! She could've seen this world despite how cruel it is to live here. Don’t blame me for the mistakes I made, because I had the chance to make it right… Yet you took it away from me.” Naghahabu

The trip took a toll on me. Pagkatapos ng tagpong iyon ay nagkaroon ako ng oras para makapag-isip. Dapat ay dumiretso na lang talaga ako rito sa probinsya at hindi na nag palipas pa ng oras sa Manila, fully knowing the presence of the Frentones were the most prominent there. Malalim na ang gabi nang makarating ako rito. I entered the main door, it was made of mahogany. The design is very vintage, halatang-halata ang pagiging luma nito pero matibay pa rin. Before my grandmother died, this is where I used to live. This is the place filled with most of my memories growing up. The place I loved and hated the most.‎ Everytime I have the chance, I make sure that this place is taken care of. I hired people to clean this place every month, but I didn't dare to renovate it. I fixed some parts but I tried my best not to change anything at all. Gusto kong manatili itong ganito, kahit na kada pasilyo ng bahay ay puno ng ala-alang minsan ayaw ko nang dumaan sa isip ko.The frames of the windo

YEAR 2015“I’m sure you’ve heard of Izo, Juana. Gwapo ‘yon! Senior natin. Hindi mo ba type?” I laughed at the idea, interesting. “Well, he’s handsome. I’d give him that.” Tinapik tapik naman ako ni Rowena na para bang kilig na kilig. “Ano ba, Juana! Napaka-in denial mo naman oh. Alam naman nating lahat na hindi lang gwapo ‘yon! Matalino, masipag, mayaman, yung maginoong medyo bastos ang charisma!” Patili nitong kantyaw. “Sus. Huwag kang mag alala, Rowena! In the future, ako na ang titilian mo. ‘Di man ako kasing gwapo at kasing yaman ni Izo ngayon, sigurado akong magiging type mo rin ako.” Sabat ni Stephen na sinuklian ng irap ni Rowena. “Pero what’s the deal nga, Juana? Nung umattend tayo sa grand ceremony nila, you seem good friends with his family. He’s an only child, marami kang kaagaw but you have an advantage, you know.” Sabay kindat ni Rowena.“Fine. I liked him before, Rowi. We were basically playmates because Tita Micunda always visits our mansion before, she’s good friend

YEAR 2015"May laro raw ang 3rd year, Rowena! Manood tayo!" Tinakbo ko ang hallway ng building namin para lang hagilapin si Rowena. "Please! Samahan mo na ako, ililibre nalang kita mamaya!" I begged her. Mukha namang wala na siyang magawa dahil binitbit ko na rin ang bag niya palabas. When we arrived at the court, dinig ko na agad ang hiyaw ng mga senior namin na nanonood. We aren't allowed here, for sure! Pero ang sabi naman ay kung inimbita ka ng senior, you may enter and watch the game. This is their final practice para sa gaganaping liga sa susunod na linggo, Izo is one of this school's athlete. He's a consistent MVP of our school's team. No wonder his body's built like that. Kahit pa noong bata kami, talagang masculine na ang figure niya. I've always admired his physique, at halatang-halata iyon ngayon lalo na't kita ang mga braso niya sa suot niyang jersey. I saw the number at the back of his shirt, it's 22. I blushed. That’s my birthday, sinakto niya kaya iyon? "Hoy! Sigu