CHAPTER 4

“Okay, spill na. I know may tinatago ka.”

Napalingon ako kay Iya habang umiinom siya ng strawberry frappe sa café naming tambayan sa Greenbelt. Her eyes were sharp, suspicious, and too damn observant.

“Wala naman,” bulong ko habang iniikot ang straw sa iced Americano ko.

“Celle,” she leaned in, whispering dramatically. “Tatlong linggo ka nang blooming, laging tulala, and you barely post anything except boring art reposts. Kahit throwback selfie, wala. That’s not you.”

“Maybe I’m just… busy.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Busy sa lalaki?”

I choked a little on my drink. “Iya!”

Her eyes widened with fake shock. “Oh my God. Tama ako?! Sino siya?! Wait—don’t tell me, kilala ko?”

I shook my head quickly. “Hindi. Hindi mo siya kilala. Hindi siya from our circle.”

“Hmm,” she crossed her arms. “Pero may ‘siya’ talaga?”

I paused.

And then… nodded.

Iya’s jaw dropped. “Wait lang. As in seryoso ‘to? As in—Celle Alvarado has a secret man?!”

I smiled weakly, looking down at my drink. “He’s… just someone I met.”

“Someone? Someone as in, pinag-uusapan ba natin ang casual dating? Or may feelings na?”

I shook my head again. “No feelings. Walang ganun. It’s just… casual.”

“Casual,” she repeated, narrowing her eyes. “Ikaw? Casual? Hindi kita ma-imagine in a no-labels kind of setup.”

I shrugged. “Neither can I. But here I am.”

Tahimik siya saglit.

Then she smiled — genuinely. “As long as you’re safe, and he’s not a walking red flag… I’m happy for you. You deserve to feel something other than pressure and expectations.”

My chest tightened.

Because Iya didn’t know the truth. She didn’t know how tangled it really was — how complicated everything felt. Kung paano ako natutunaw sa bawat haplos niya, sa bawat tingin niya. How I kept telling myself this was just physical… and how my heart kept forgetting the rules.

“So,” Iya said, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Anong codename niya? Para hindi obvious pag pinag-uusapan natin.”

I smirked. “Codename?”

She grinned. “Yeah. Like, ‘Mr. Tall Dark and Dangerous’ or something. O baka naman ‘Sir Shower Scene’?”

“Baliw ka talaga,” tawa ko.

“Pero seryoso, Celle… I hope kahit papaano, pinipili mo rin sarili mo sa lalaking ‘yan. Kasi knowing you… mas sanay kang mag-adjust kaysa magmahal nang totoo.”

I froze for a second.

Then gave her a small smile. “I’ll try.”

Mayamaya nagpapaalam na si Isa.ay lakad pa kasi sya at isiningit lang nya itong pagkikita namin.

“Masaya ka ba?” tanong niya bago siya tumayo.

Hindi ako nakasagot.

Hindi rin ako sigurado hanggang ngayon.

"Sige na ng babush, mag usap tayo ng matagal next time." Sabi ni Iya sabay alis.

Nasa harap ko pa ang baso ng natunaw na yelo. May ilang patak ng kape sa gilid ng mesa. May ilang mata sa paligid na tila walang pake. Pero ako? Hindi mapakali.

Pumasok ang message niya.

Renzo: You free this weekend?

Nagkibit-balikat ako. Tumugon ako ng simple: Maybe.

Pero ilang minuto lang… may sumunod ulit.

Renzo: I want to take you somewhere.

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa phone.

Hindi ko alam kung dapat akong matakot o matuwa. Pero alam kong may isang parte ng sarili kong hindi na makatanggi.

A few hours later, habang nakaupo ako sa vanity table ng kwarto ko, nakatitig lang ako sa sarili ko sa salamin. Barefaced. Vulnerable.

“Celle,” bulong ko sa sarili. “Ano bang ginagawa mo?”

I traced my fingers along my collarbone. Doon niya ako unang hinalikan noong gabing ‘yon. Doon nagsimula ang lahat.

Ang hindi dapat mangyari.

Pero sa bawat pagpikit ng mata ko, sa bawat gabi ng katahimikan, siya lang ang laman ng isip ko.

Hindi pa kami lubos na magkakilala. Pangalan lang ang alam namin sa isa't isa.

Sa sumunod na umaga, habang nagsusuklay ako ng buhok, muling tumunog ang phone.

“Pack light,” sabi niya sa text. “Bring swimwear. I’ll handle the rest.”

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako pumayag.

Maybe because part of me was tired of always saying no.

Maybe because, deep down, I wanted to see how far I’d go before I broke all the rules I made for myself.

Or maybe… because I wanted to be near him again. Kahit wala akong karapatang gustuhin ‘yon.

He picked me up just before sunset — suot ang black shirt na fitted sa katawan niya, dark sunglasses, at bahagyang nakangiti habang binuksan ang passenger door ng SUV niya.

“Hi,” he said, voice low, almost teasing.

“Hi,” I replied, sliding in.

The road to Batangas was quiet. Walang traffic. Walang music. Pero puno ng tensyon ang hangin. Minsan nagkakatinginan kami. Minsan hindi. Pero palagi — ramdam ko ang init ng presence niya.

At kapag napapasimple siyang sumulyap sa legs ko… tumitibok ang puso ko.

Pagdating sa beach house — isang private villa sa gilid ng bangin — binuksan niya ang main door at tinapunan ako ng tingin.

“Relax ka lang. No pressure. No expectations.”

Pero sa paraan ng pagkakasabi niya, parang siya mismo ang hindi naniniwala sa sinabi niya.

I stepped inside. The place was beautiful. Malawak ang sala, floor-to-ceiling windows, at tanaw ang dagat. Amoy kahoy at sea breeze.

He watched me the whole time.

“You like it?” tanong niya.

I nodded. “It’s… peaceful.”

“You don’t strike me as someone who gets much peace.”

Napatingin ako sa kanya. “How would you know?”

“I listen,” he said. “Even to what you don’t say.”

My breath caught.

May iba talaga sa kanya. Hindi lang katawan ko ang dinadama niya — pati ‘yung mga bagay na tinatago ko sa ilalim ng mga ngiti ko.

After dinner — grilled seafood, fresh mangoes, and a bottle of wine — lumabas kami sa balcony. The moon was full. The waves soft. And the night… dangerous.

He stood behind me. Not touching. Not pushing.

Just there.

“I keep trying to pretend this is just about sex,” he whispered.

I swallowed hard. “Isn’t it?”

His breath ghosted over my ear. “I don’t think it ever was.”

Tumigil ang mundo ko.

And then, he stepped back.

“Come with me,” bulong niya, eyes glowing under the moonlight.

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko — dahan-dahan — and led me down the path to the private shoreline below the cliff.

The sand was cool beneath my feet. The breeze kissed my skin. At sa ilalim ng liwanag ng buwan, huminto siya, humarap sa akin… at dahan-dahang hinaplos ang pisngi ko.

“Celestine,” he whispered, using my full name this time.

I looked up at him, eyes wide, body trembling — not from fear, but from how much I wanted him.

And when his lips met mine… I didn’t resist. — slow, deep, deliberate.

His tongue met mine, soft at first, then hungrier. Wet, warm, swirling, tasting. Tongue to tongue, his kiss devoured every inch of hesitation left in me.

“God, Celestine…” he whispered against my lips.

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at dahan-dahang humakbang papunta sa tubig. Warm and shallow, it lapped at our calves, then thighs.

He turned me around in the waist-deep water, arms wrapping around my waist, lips pressing against the back of my neck.

Gently, he slid my sundress off, leaving me bare under the moonlight.

Napasinghap ako nang lamigin ang u***g ko sa hangin — and then moaned when his palms cupped my breasts from behind. He kneaded them slowly, thumbs rubbing the hardened peaks in lazy circles.

“Your body drives me insane,” he breathed, kissing down the curve of my neck.

Then he spun me to face him. His eyes locked on mine while he lowered his mouth to my breast. Isinubo niya ang isa, sinipsip nang matagal habang ang dila niya'y paikot sa u***g ko.

“Renzo…” I whimpered, fingers in his wet hair.

He switched to the other nipple, lamas ang kabilang dibdib habang sinisimsim ang isa, until my knees went weak in the water.

Then his hand slid lower — between my legs — at hinagod ang hiwa ko sa ilalim ng tubig.

“You’re so wet for me,” he growled, even though we were surrounded by water. “Pero alam kong hindi lang tubig ‘yan.”

He found my clit, rubbing in slow circles, then slid one finger inside me. Then two. He curled them just right, finding the spot that made me gasp.

“Let it go, baby,” he whispered. “I want you to come with my fingers in you, here in the ocean.”

And I did.

My orgasm rippled through me like the waves around us. Napasigaw ako, sabay baon ng mukha niya sa leeg ko habang nanginginig ako sa sarap.

Bago pa ako makabawi, binuhat niya ako — bridal style — at iniupo sa buhangin malapit sa shoreline. Basa pa rin kami pareho, but we didn’t care.

He knelt between my legs, spreading me open again.

Then, with one look — wild, reverent — he leaned down and ate me out like he was starving.

His tongue traced every inch of my folds. He licked up the slickness, then focused on my clit — sucking, licking, flicking. Two fingers slid inside me again, moving in time with his mouth. The cold sand at my back, the heat of his mouth — the contrast was electric.

“Ang sarap mo,” he muttered between licks. “Para akong malulunod sa’yo.”

I moaned louder, arching into his face, thighs quivering as another orgasm hit me like lightning.

“Renzo… please… I need you inside me.”

He wiped his mouth, eyes wild, then pulled down his board shorts. His cock stood proud — thick, veiny, and fully hard.

“Turn around,” he growled.

I did — on all fours on the sand, the moon above, the waves behind.

Then he entered me from behind — one hard, slow thrust.

“Fuck, yes…” he moaned, gripping my hips tight. “You feel too damn good.”

He started thrusting — slow, deep, dragging the tip inside me, then slamming back in.

Slap. Slap. Slap.

My moans mixed with the sound of waves and skin-on-skin.

“Harder,” I begged.

And he gave it to me.

He grabbed my hair, pulling me back against him while his other hand reached under to rub my clit in sync with his thrusts.

“You gonna come for me again?” he grunted.

“Yes! Don’t stop!”

My climax burst through me like a wave crashing the shore. My whole body shuddered, squeezing him tight.

He groaned, pulled out, then turned me around, laying me on the sand. He entered me again — this time in missionary, lips on mine, kissing me tongue-to-tongue while pounding into me deep and raw.

“Celle… I’m close…”

“Me too…”

“Come with me again…”

We came — together, hard, no barriers, no walls. Just two souls, bare, under the moonlight.

Nakahiga kami sa buhangin, tangled limbs, chest to chest. The tide reached our feet.

He kissed my forehead, then my shoulder, then my lips.

“Still just physical?” he asked softly.

I didn’t answer.

Because the way my heart beat for him now… I already knew the truth.