Semua Bab Rules and Roses: Bab 141 - Bab 150
152 Bab
Hundred + 17
To err is human, to forgive, divine.✾“She had always thought me that I shouldn’t rely too much on anyone,” I bite my lip, looking up at him from under my lashes. Yohan was quiet, he didn’t comment and just continued listening to me. Nodding ever so often whenever I stop talking just so he could take in the things I’m saying. So far, he still hadn’t pushed me away. I could take that as a good sign, couldn’t I? “And well…it’s no secret that I was different, the bad different when I had been at the academe.” Yohan rubbed his cheek to mine, “You’ve changed, Amara. For the better.” “I guess,” Sighing, I lean more into him. He was trailing his fingers along my spine and I appreciated it. It made me calm. “From what I could remember, we were out at the market then. That was the very first time that I went outside the gates. Every
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Hundred + 18
Real intimacy is a sacred experience.✾I push myself up with my elbows.The tent still had his scent lingering somewhere, if he wasn’t next to me, where was he? Frantically, I start rubbing my eyes, glancing around the tent.And then I see him. The first thing I noticed was that Yohan looked like he was in pain. Both his hands were shakily covering his mouth. He was pressing himself against the wall of the tent, his head falling back, his eyes closed. He was shaking all over, goosebumps ran along his arms. He was sweating and groaning softly, his eyebrows furrowed. His scent mingled in the air, making me want to crawl over to him and comfort him.“Yohan?” I ask.He jolted with the sound of my voice. Slowly, he opens his eyes and looks at me, a pained expression on his face. Wiping the sweat that had formed on my forehead, I tilt my head at him with confusion, pushing myself up to a sitting position. H
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Hundred + 19
The past beats inside me like a second heart.✾When I opened my eyes, I wasn’t lying down on Yohan’s chest anymore.When I opened my eyes, my cheek was pressed down on cold tiles. I wasn’t inside the tent. No, I was inside an all too familiar room. The place had been dark, much like it had been in my memories. The only light that made the room somewhat visible was the dim light bulb hanging loosely on the ceiling, as well as the small window that cast the glow of the moon.All around me were mirrors of different shapes and colors. All of them were pointing towards me, my reflection showcasing the same spooked and confused expression that I was probably expressing. My mind knew that I was dreaming, that this wasn’t real. However, it was my body that seemed to have a mind of its own. It felt like I was being controlled. I felt an unbearable heat inside of me. It wasn’t like the heat that I’ve experi
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Hundred + 20
The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.✾The cool wind kiss my cheeks and I hug myself, shivering lightly.The nights had gone colder, which meant it really had been long since I’ve gone out of the gates. We were nearing the mountains, nearing the snow-covered lands that I’ve once read in my books. Breathing out through my mouth, I see white smoke right in front of me, as my warm breath mix and mingles with the cool night air.My eye falls on all the campers here. They had been battling the cold far longer than I did. How had they managed to survive? The tents didn’t offer any type of blankets. Had they adapted?
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Hundred + 21
Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.✾“I don’t know if I showed it enough,” Eleanor pulled her knees to her chest, leaning her cheek right by her knees. She wasn’t looking at me, her eyes following the flow of the river. The wind had turned chillier than it had been moments ago. I didn’t know if the goosebumps running up my arm were due to the cold or because we were talking now. “But I’ve always thought of you as my sister.”I wanted to tell her that I know that. That’s why her betrayal hurt so much. But I don’t. I’m not even sure it was a question that she wanted an answer to. It was just a statement she wanted to start with.Eleanor started fiddling with her thumbs, “I know that the things I&rsquo
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Hundred + 22
Human nature is like water. It takes the shape of its container.✾It was Yohan.Clutching my heart, I narrow my eyes at him, “I didn’t even sense that you were.”“Sorry,” He yawned, stretching his arms up in the air. “Force of habit.”“Habit?”Eleanor coughed behind me. When I turned around though, I realized it wasn’t exactly a cough. From the way her eyes were glittering as she looked at Yohan, I knew it was something different entirely. Her look has been meaningful as if I wasn’t curious enough already. Eleanor was great at lying, which I learned the hard way. With how she was acting, it was like she knew something and desperately wa
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Hundred + 23
No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.✾The first time I ate something that Eleanor had cooked, I instantly regretted it.She was a Sem native, they were great in things like mining and exploring forests but that was it. They were horrible cooks. As much as possible, one would be safer with a Sem native as a guard instead of having them as one of the kitchen staff. Even though they were given a recipe book, or a list of instructions, seeing as they were from Sem, they would end up with a burnt and wasted food. Those from Sem were known for being so full of pride that they rather eat what they had burnt instead of asking for help.Eleanor was one of them. The good thing was that at least she was willing to accept that there were things that she needed to correct. See
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Hundred + 24
It is a long-cherished tradition among a certain type of military thinker that huge casualties are the main thing.✾It had been a few days since I had breakfast with Eleanor.Like how I imagined it would be it was a bit awkward. Especially with how every few seconds, she would stare at me and tears would leak out of her eyes. I teased her about it, hoping that she would stop, and her pride would get the best of her. However, when I did tease her, not only did it make her more emotional, but it also made her talk about how we used to be in the past.When I had teased her about her tears, she took me seriously. I had assumed that she would just scoff at me or ignore my teasing, but it seemed like the past few months actually changed her. Instead of just rolling her eyes at me, she took it way too seriously. S
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Hundred + 25
A boy needs a father to show him how to be in the world. He needs to be given swagger, taught how to read a map so that he can recognize the roads that lead to life and the paths that lead to death, how to know what love requires, and where to find steel in the heart when life makes demands on us that are greater than we think we can endure.✾I closed my mouth and listened. Yohan was quiet right next to me and it was thanks to him that I haven’t jumped Eleanor yet. My mate had just gone through something horrible and almost died back in the underground fighting ring and she wants to put him in the spotlight again? Gritting my teeth, I continued looking down on my lap, my hands clenched. “Amara, I don’t like this idea any more than you do,” Eleanor says. Without meaning to, I scoff. I hear her sighing, and I find myself lifting my head a bit to look at her. She was staring daggers at the map, her jaw clenched.
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Hundred + 26
And live like it's heaven on earth.✾The first thing I noticed once we reached Verdant was that it was inexplicably green.Verdant was a district that was abundantly covered by mist. The trees and mountains seemed to be covered by moss and various plants and leaves. And everywhere I went, the only thing I could smell was fresh dew. The kind of thing one might smell at the start of the morning as dawn breaks. Once we have reached the vicinity of Verdant, the sound of one of the largest waterfalls I have ever seen echoed throughout the thick forest.The trees surrounding the whole district seemed as tall as the sky and seemed to disappear within the clouds. I had no choice but to look up. I couldn’t even help but awe loudly.“Woah,” I mut
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