บททั้งหมดของ Living And Dying: บทที่ 31 - บทที่ 40

Morning air, the sound of my alarm clock with my heart ready to conquer the day, the music track in the stall, the quotes beside the plates and teapots-are the things I am longing for. The things that kept me alive. I closed the curtain by the window for the last time. We're leaving again. I suddenly felt lump in my throat as I walked through the door. It already looked like the first time I entered this four-cornered room. The lonely pillows, the chair in my reading corner, and the succulents in the table-little things that will remind me of how painful and amazing I've been through.I took a series of deep breaths as I scan the my now empty room. My things are already packed up. We left the hospital three days ago and now I am leaving the apartment with Tim. As I closed the door, I felt like I am closing another chapter of my life. Tim patted my

   “I felt like we're already living in a forest...like in the most beautiful way.” I uttered and sip my green tea which taste the worst but the best for my dumb body.     Tim nodded and smiled looking at the view outside. Just people passing by with breads on their hands, or children running early in the morning, and the sound of the birds chirping- it made me feel alive. I took my cardigan from the chair beside me and wore it.  “Where are you going, young lady?“ Tim asked.  Since yesterday he's been calling me 'young lady' or would reply to me with words like 'my pleasure'. I couldn't count how many times I'd punch him because of that.  “I want to visit the tree when you cross the lake, I found it really pretty. Gotta go. I'll be back-”

 “ What is this? Take this away from-”  “Kath, you need that.” Grandpa uttered calmly while eyes are darted on me and holding my hands and squeezing it gently.   My brows went down together as they all look at me with pity. “ Who the hell made you believe I am dying?!”   My voice sounds arrogant and I know I am losing control of my self. I'm losing all the respect left in my body. I just can't understand why all of this has to happen.   I just want take this clear tube that divides underneath my neck being tucked in the back of my ears, and meet in my nostrils. I tried to get my hands off Grandpa's but he won't let me go because he know what I will do.   “This is making me sick!” I screamed while tears of hatred streamed down. “I

 Zoe's POV  I hit the enter icon and took a sigh. A sigh that says I am almost done with life. I stared blankly ahead and found nothing interesting. Everything seems dull in my vision.     I saved the final draft of the chapter I wrote and closed my laptop. I put it back on my right desk and hug my pillow again. It's been days since I last wrote a chapter of it and I am scared I couldn't finish it within my remaining life expectancy. I should be happy because death is what I want before...but now... I don't want to face it. I want to stay alive...with him.    I'm like a ghost to him since yesterday. He never glance or ask me if I am okay, not even giving me a pat in my head. It's always Grandpa or Miss Mia or Kira who would accompany me with this damn cancer.    

 “ Rule number one, always be you. You don't need to pretend you are fine. You are a human and everything you feel is valid.” Grandpa stated while his eyes are widened gazing at us.“ What is he talking about?” Tim whispered to me as he fixed my little oxygen tank.“ Rules..I don't know what for..” I replied, catching my breath. “ Rule number two, always be good to the mates...and the last one, made them feel like they are home.” Oh, for the stall.“ Can I still help? ” I asked even though I already know the answer will be no. “ Or even just the bare minimum like...greeting them with a smile?”Grandpa scratched his forehead and pouted his lips while avoiding my gaze. “ I' ll think about it.”Someon