I don’t want to give up.No, it’s more than that. I can’t give up. Not now that I have Nicole in my life. I have to find a way around this. I have to change this for her. I’m not sure how yet, but I will find a way. I have to. I have to embark on my own quest.“What if I find your true mate?” I ask Lizzie at breakfast the next morning.I have appreciated spending the night at her castle. It is a glorious place, but I still don’t want to stay here forever. She’s not my mate, and I want to go to the person who is.“Excuse me?” she asks, arching her eyebrows.“What if I find your mate?” I repeat. “Then will you leave me alone? Will you set me free?”Lizzie laughs as she shakes her head.“Don’t you see?” she asks, batting her eyelashes. “I already have my mate. That person is you. We are mates. And the sooner you accept that, the better things will be for us both.”Of course, I know that’s not true. I knew it back then and I certainly know it now. Lizzie isn’t my mate. Nicole is.

I spend the night in the temple and it’s an absolute paradise of a place to stay in. Everything is airy, calming, and comforting. Incense wafts through the temple. Music plays softly, so it’s soothing but not distracting. There’s so much to take in. I spend the night in a room held up by white marble pillars with crushed rubies creating designs through the stone. The purple canopy over the bed flutters with the wind. I have my own tea area, bookshelf, reading space, fireplace, and a closet with simple cloaks and clothes that fit me perfectly.I done a simple, light blue shirt with breathable, white shorts, and a purple cloak. Everything is easy to move in, so I feel like I could fight anyone. And I feel refreshed enough to do so. I’m clean, relaxed, and all my pain has remained a thing of the past since I touched the waterfall.“Good morning,” Zade says, as I join him for breakfast out on the patio. A full array of fruits, breads, eggs, and oats are laid out for us. For the wolf

It seems like everything else comes easier to me. I have block, attack, use magic, I can do all the things. But working through my anger is more difficult. Getting past the hurt of what happened with Gavin is tougher.“I don’t understand why I have to do this before I get my shield,” I say, slumped on the ground in the rock garden. “It’s not fair.”“What about it isn’t fair?” Zade asks, never one to just accept what I say.“Well, I’ll never have to face the alpha,” I reply. “Not ever again. He’s dead. So, my anger over that doesn’t matter. I can desire revenge against him. I’ll never get it.”“But what about your anger towards others?” Zade reminds me. “There are other people you wish to get revenge on, is there not?”My cheeks turn red under this accusation. It’s true, but how does he know it’s true? I tried to keep that side from him. He was never supposed to know that I still desire revenge like that. I know he wouldn’t approve of it if he did know.“You can’t keep things from

In the end, it comes down to what I think Nicole would want. I respect her so much as a person, that I know I’d have to let her decide. Would she rather be safe? Or would she rather have the chance to be with me? As her mate, I have to know the right answer. We naturally know each other better than anyone else could. I can think with her mind. She’s within my heart.Furthermore, I spent enough time with her to know her. I know how strong she is, feisty, passionate, and loving. I know how much she wants to be with me. I know how much I want to be with her.“I’m sorry,” I say. “I would do anything to keep the people I love safe. Almost anything anyway. But I won’t give up my mate.“I just hope that you see that this isn’t the right way to be with someone. You should want someone to be with you just because you blackmailed them into doing so. You shouldn’t wield your magic over someone you claim to love.“You should want to be with someone who is with you of their own freewill. So

Killing people affects me more than before. I guess that’s the tradeoff for having such power. When I’m in tune with the life around me, I mourn that life when it’s gone. I see beyond monsters and see the souls within.They were going to kill me though. And if they’re going to kill me I have every right to kill them. Even Zade didn’t disagree with that.So, I make sure nature wasn’t impacted too greatly. Then, I take time to bury the bodies. It makes me lose some progress. I know I’m losing at least a day over this fight, but I can’t just leave their corpses lying in the forest like this. Maybe that’s what I would do before, but not now. Now, I dig a hole for each of them. I bury them near each other. Then, I continue on my journey.Though it has taken me extra time, I do feel good about my decision. It seems more natural this way. I get to keep a bit of my soul too.By the time I near my old pack, I feel like maybe I can get the answers I need without all the bloodshed. That’s w