All Chapters of The Devil Who Claimed Me (M x M): Chapter 61 - Chapter 70

125 Chapters

CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE

NIKOLAIHis words strike deep. Because they’re true. But I don’t care. I’ve always had the opinion that the most useless weapons you can have by your side are people, and that still holds true to this day. I don’t need friends. I don’t need emotional liabilities.“In fact,” Caleb goes on, “I’ve never really seen anyone around you. Not even one of your countless fuck buddies.” He pauses. “Except for Julian, that is. Is that his name? Julian?”I tense at the mention of Julian’s name. I’ve been trying not to think about him. It’s been four days.Four days since the party.Four days since I’ve seen Julian.I haven’t sought him out or spoken to him since that night at the party.Instead, I focused my attention on rebuilding everything brick by brick. Starting with my reputation at school.That was the easiest part to fix. It helped that a lot of people were drunk that night. All I had to do was work my way back in with the most popular girls in school. I convinced them to see things my w

CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO

NIKOLAICaleb must see something on my face because his eyes narrow. “This is not an excuse for you to approach him again. No distractions. Remember the promise you made to me?”Right. Caleb’s words are like a cold dash of reality. The smile I don’t even remember having on my face drops.I can’t go running back to Julian. And even if I want to, that doesn’t mean he wants me back.The fact that he helped to clean up after me meant nothing. He could have easily done it out of guilt. Out of some misplaced responsibility for his role in that night.It has nothing to do with me and everything to do with who I’m beginning to realize Julian is. A kind, loyal person.“I know,” I snap. “I’m not running back to him. You can relax.”“That’s what I want to hear.”A beat passes as Caleb stares at me intently again. I focus my attention on the sketchpad on my lap, but I can’t help the way my shoulders tense slightly. I already know what he’s going to say and I wish he wouldn’t.Sure enough, he says

CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE

JULIANIt’s been four days since the party.Four days since I quit the plan.Four days since Theo has been giving me the silent treatment.Everything else has seemingly returned to normal. Except it’s not quite the same. It feels weird not talking to Theo, not doing things together. It’s the longest we’ve gone without speaking to each other. Theo hasn’t been this mad at me in ages. Not even when I accidentally killed his pet goldfish.I didn’t care so much at the beginning because I was still mad, but now I do. Because I miss him.I’ve tried to fix some other things from the party.Like talking to David a day after the party. Thank God he hadn’t gone to the police yet. It wasn’t hard to convince him not to. All I had to do was remind him that he technically assaulted me since he forcefully kissed me. He was remorseful, saying he was drunk and out of his mind, and agreed not to press charges against Nikolai.I'd like to say I did it out of guilt but I know that isn’t entirely the reas

CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR

JULIANThe blood drips on the rug, sinking into the fabric, and the sight of it is finally enough to kick my ass into gear.“Theo!” I rush toward him in large strides, dropping down to my knees in front of him.I don’t hesitate. I whip off my shirt, wrapping it around his wrist, trying to suppress the bleeding.He tries to yank his hand away but I don’t let him. My grip tightens around his wrist.“What the fuck are you doing?” I try to convey anger but my voice comes out shaky. “Are you insane?”Theo doesn’t answer. I finally look up at him.I regret it immediately and almost want to look away. The look in his eyes scares me. There is a dullness in them, none of the usual vibrance and shine. He looks like he’s not even present, like he’s elsewhere, trapped in his own thoughts.He looks exhausted. His eyes are bloodshot, his hair messy. There are circles under his eyes, like he’s not slept in days.My lips thin. “We’re going to the hospital. Right now.” I stand up, trying to drag him

CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE

JULIANI suck in a breath as the words hit me like a stab to the heart.Because of you.Those are the last words I ever want to hear. They sound like they came from a nightmare.I never want to hear that I almost drove Theo to…“What did I do?” I ask shakily, my voice thick with emotion.I almost don’t want to hear the answer to that. I don’t want to hear how I’ve disappointed Theo. How I’ve failed him and let him down.Theo lets out a disbelieving laugh. “Are you serious?” His eyes glint with something akin to hatred and it makes me flinch. “You abandoned me when I needed you the most. You turned your back on me like it was nothing. Like I meant nothing to you.”Tears sting my eyes as I shake my head. “I didn’t. I can never abandon you, Theo."I try to grab his hand but he moves away. His rejection hurts. It feels like a thousand needles are stabbing me all at once.“You were the only person I had left,” he continues. “The only one I could rely on. But you left. Just like everyone el

CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX

NIKOLAIA+.I stare at the bright red grade on my sketch paper. It’s nothing new. I’ve seen it a thousand times. It’s what I’ve always gotten. It’s what I rightfully deserve.But this particular one feels different. It leaves a sinking feeling in my gut instead of the usual satisfaction I always feel.If there is a very glaring pointer to just how fucked I am, then this will be it.I did the one thing I wasn’t supposed to.I broke one of the most important rules I set for myself.I drew a person. And not just anyone, but the most forbidden of them all. The one that is likely to get me in so much trouble. The one that will make Caleb beat my ass— or at least attempt to— if he ever finds out.Julian.If I’m being honest, I don’t know how it happened. After that day at the rooftop where I caught myself drawing him, I trashed the drawing. Then, I promised myself it wasn’t going to happen again.And I tried. I really did.I tried to sketch anything that captured my interest. The skyline

CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN

NIKOLAIMy heart pounds hard in my chest. This is kind of what I wanted but I feel a little uncomfortable. I know she’s praising me but there’s a part of me that doesn’t like it. A part of me that doesn’t want her to see.I feel like a specimen being examined under a microscope.“Do you know what your problem has always been?” she asks.“That my work is… empty?” I guess. The word almost hurts me to say. Getting stabbed would hurt less.“That too. But the problem is that you hide.”I stiffen automatically.“All your other works have always felt cold, restrained,” she continues. “It’s like you were terrified of putting anything real into them.”Something uncomfortable crawls under my skin.“But that?” she points to the sketch sheet in my hand. “That is exceptional. It’s the easiest A+ I’ve ever given.”Exceptional. It’s such a little word. A word that should technically mean nothing to me but strangely lights me up inside.“I’m impressed, Nikolai,” she says sincerely. “Very impressed. I

CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT

NIKOLAI For a second, I forget how to breathe. It’s ridiculous. It’s been barely a week since I last saw him and yet seeing him again now manages to hit me like a physical blow. My heart races as I watch him approach. We’ve not spoken since I told him I needed a break. And at the party, we barely even looked at each other. I only caught a glimpse of him after the whole thing happened. When he stared at me like… I grind my teeth. What the fuck could he possibly want now? I stare at the way his dark blonde hair artfully flops over his forehead. He’s dressed casually in a grey hoodie and jeans. His face looks good as usual, but I’ve seen better. There’s nothing special about the way he looks. Nothing that should make it easy for him to worm his way into my brain and thoughts. Nothing that should disrupt my entire system the way he has managed to. Somehow, though, he has. I don’t keep my eyes off him as he finally stands in front of me, a little distance between us. He look

CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE

NIKOLAI I swallow hard at the sincerity in his eyes. “Why are you telling me this?” “I just wanted you to know.” He licks his lips. “I wanted you to know that I didn’t replace you with another guy. That you had no reason to be jealous.” My jaw tightens. “I wasn’t jealous. I was just having a bad night, that’s all.” I expect him to call me out on my lie but instead he simply says, “Okay.” And somehow, that’s worse than if he’d challenged me. It makes me feel like he’s only saying it to make me feel better. Like he doesn’t believe me. I don’t blame him because I’m not sure I believe myself either. “Why did you do it?” I ask the question I’ve wanted to ask since I knew about what he did. “Do what?” “Why did you stop David from going to the police?” Julian tenses. That means Caleb was telling the truth. “How did you know about that?” he asks carefully. “Answer the question.” He looks away briefly. “I didn’t want your life ruined over one mistake.” One mistake. I almost

CHAPTER SEVENTY

JULIANIt’s almost worrying the way I immediately relax when Nikolai leads me into his apartment. It’s ridiculous how familiar everything seems. Like this is my own house.Like I have a right to be here.It feels like our space. It feels intimate. Like a place we can just be…I smack myself internally. Just what am I even thinking?Our space? Seriously?It’s naive to think this means anything special to Nikolai. That this is different for him. New to him like it is for me.He’s brought countless lovers in here.I’m nothing special. Just one among many.I brush any lingering hurt away.This isn’t about me. The plan isn’t to fall in love with Nikolai and live happily ever after. The plan is to break his heart and dump him.Just like Theo wants.The plan is working perfectly. Maybe too perfectly. I was surprised earlier when he suddenly kissed me at school, in the middle of the hallway where anyone could see. Granted, there was no one around, but still…I didn’t take Nikolai for a PDA ki

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