Elena CarsonIt’s been two weeks.Two weeks of trying to re-establish some kind of normalcy. I go to class, sit in the back row, take notes like my life depends on it, and leave the second the lecture ends. I study until my eyes burn and my head throbs. I avoid lingering anywhere near Killian’s office or the paths he usually takes across campus. It’s exhausting, but it’s necessary. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.The worst part is how I still see him almost every day.He’s impossible to miss. Tall, composed, always in those dark shirts with the sleeves rolled up. Does he not have any colour besides black?I catch glimpses of him walking across the quad, talking to other professors, or standing by his car in the faculty lot. Each time my stomach twists, a sharp, nauseating mix of longing and shame. I duck behind pillars or change direction like some pathetic spy. I hate myself for it, but I can’t stop.I even turned down Nora when she asked me to join her and Nol
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