บททั้งหมดของ I Hate How Much I Want You: บทที่ 41 - บทที่ 50

Adrian’s POV I had been on dates before. I had been on so many dates that they blurred into a single long evening of smiling, paying, and leaving before anyone could ask what it meant. None of them had made me so nervous before. “Shit what do I wear?!!!” Not even with the fanciest dinners did I nerve wrack like this. I stood in front of a mirror at six o’clock with three shirts on the bed and wet hair dripping onto my collar like I was sixteen and late for my first date. I was giddy. That was the humiliating word for it. Giddy, and confused about the giddiness, because Elias Kane had asked me out in my father’s driveway as an act of petty war and I had still said yes like he had offered me a championship. I tried the black shirt. Too funeral. The white one. Too Harrison dinner. The dark green one Moses, a friend of mine once said made me look like I paid taxes. I put it on, took it off, put it on again, then sat on the edge of the bed and called Moses because pride

Elias’s POV We did not go home after the film. Adrian took the long way on purpose, windows down, city air rushing in warm and a bit dirty, the kind of night that made even the traffic lights look friendly. I should have told him to drop me off. I sat there with my shirt still too open and his kiss still on my mouth and let the breeze push my hair out of the tie. “You are going the wrong way for my building,” I said. “I know.” He glanced at me, grinning like he had stolen something. “Unless you want me to turn around.” I did not tell him to turn around. We drove through the centre with the radio low, not even on a station we agreed on, just noise so the silence would not get heavy. He pointed at a closed bakery and said they used to sell cinnamon things at midnight. I told him that sounded made up. He pulled over anyway, found a twenty-four hour place two streets down, and came back with two pastries and icing on his thumb. I laughed at him. He held the thumb out. I should hav

Elias’s POV He was still inside me when he kissed me, wet and messy, spit and sweat sliding between our mouths. I could taste myself on his tongue from earlier and it should have shamed me. It did not. I clutched his shoulders and kissed him back like I wanted to crawl into him, hips twitching around the thick stretch of his cock. “Still tight,” he muttered into my mouth. “How are you still this tight after I had my fingers in you, my tongue in you, and now this?” “Don’t compliment yourself while you are doing it.” He laughed and snapped his hips. The sound I made was ugly. He liked that. He did it again, deeper, until the bedframe started tapping the wall in a rhythm I would hear later in my sleep. “You can pretend to be annoyed. Your hole is sucking me like it missed me.” He licked my lower lip, filthy, slow. “Did it? Did you miss getting fucked while you were busy calling yourself straight?” I turned my face away. He dragged it back and kissed me until I opened for him aga

Elias's POVWe left the hotel at noon, because Adrian said checkout was at eleven and I said that meant we were already late, and he said that was the point of staying.The room had been paid for on his card, which I'd argued about for ten minutes and lost. It had a window that looked over a parking structure and a bed that had not survived us. I'd woken up at dawn with my face in his shoulder and his arm heavy across my ribs, and for a full minute I hadn't moved. I'd just listened to him breathe. It was the most peaceful minute I'd had since March.Then he'd cracked one blue eye open and said, "You're staring.""I'm not.""You are. It's creepy. Do it more."Now we were on the highway with the windows cracked, a cold bright October wind pushing through the car, and I was trying very hard to remember how to be a person who didn't smile at nothing."Stop that," Adrian said."Stop what?""Looking out the window and grinning like an idiot.""I'm not grinning.""Your whole face is doing it

Adrian's POVI let the call ring out.I was parked at a red light three blocks from Elias's street, both hands locked on the wheel, and his name sat on my dashboard screen in white letters, pulsing. Part of me wanted to answer so badly my thumb actually twitched. The rest of me kept hearing his voice. *He's slept with half the campus. He's not gay, Yelena. God. Don't be ridiculous.*The screen went dark. A second later a voicemail notification popped up, and I swiped it away before I could be tempted.Then my phone lit up again. *Dad: I'm in the study. Don't make me ask twice.*I'd forgotten about him. For eighteen hours I'd forgotten about everything, and now it all came down at once, like a rack of tyres collapsing in a garage. I drove to the house with the radio off, rehearsing nothing, because nothing I said had ever worked on Richard Vale.---The house was too quiet. My mother's car was gone from the driveway, and the front hall smelled like lemon polish and cold marble, the way