MerryGold

AUSTINMaddened, saddened by the death of Avalon. She was sweet, tolerant and easy going. I had much doubts that I would ever fall for another. I had no patience to start over, no patience to create a new profound loving bond. I marched to the stables in search for a new lover. Perhaps not a new lover, Avalon was irreplaceable my beautiful horse... I needed a temporary companion just as good as Avalon had been over the years. Frustrated, I could not find the stable boy. Grover had said he had to be somewhere in here, going by the name of Thomas. The unholy stench of manure and filthy straw almost knocked my boots off. I came to a halt when I heard giggling from the back where a negro girl was sat on hay exchanging saliva from the negro stable boy. It gave my skin goosebumps. Absolutely nauseating."I'd leave you two to breed on hay like the animals you're but I have no time to entertain wild things..." I said cooly making them jump off each other in an instant. A chuckle escaped my li

MERRYGOLDWe had promised each other to abstain. To save ourselves until the right moment. Thomas was very understanding, he never rushed me into anything that I did not quite comfortable with. I had always known of Austin Cunningham but with him being eight years older than me, he had already been off to boarding school. On holidays he preferred to visit their umpteen family all over Europe and the West. I suppose I could say, I had never stumbled upon him. For a while, I noted that he was the black sheep. His brother was kind and respectful so was his sisters, like their very religious parents. They treated us fairly as human beings, they gave us a little dignity and Mrs Cunningham loved to occupy herself with bible classes where she discreetly taught us as kids around the ranch how to read, some simple mathematics here and there. She would always whisper that we had to pretend we were reading our bibles and that there was no other activity taking place other than that. Selfless and

MERRYGOLDCuddling to the warmth of my blanket, I said grace thanking God for my life, the people in it and my daily bread. Sleep came easy considering how long of a day it had been. I had this nightmare for days and days on end where I imagined Austin sneaking in and taking advantage of me. In this dream, I fought hard and ran far enough to hide behind big brother and Thomas.In reality... I failed—In reality, his hands swooped over my body in the dark. His breath behind my back watching me sleep. His eyes heavy with lust. Assuming it was another nightmare, I woke up breathing and sweating heavily after feeling his presence beside me... touching and caressing me. His tongue made contact with my neck, I felt my body shut down from fear. I couldn't voice my thoughts or scream. Where was the this confidence that I always had? Where had it gone? Where was my determination to fight back? Where had my daring courage to kick him in the nuts go? Where was my boldness to scream, to run, to—

I have not had a date in about a century, are you sure I look quite alright... Mrs. Brown." I asked one of our oldest housekeepers, she had been there when I was born, when I went off to boarding school, upon my return. She had always been there.I could not recall a moment in my life where she had not been present. I had respect for my mother and Mrs. Brown. They were very close to my heart. Mrs. Brown gave me a soft smile... "You look handsome as always Master Austin.""What happened to calling me your dear Austin?" I teased."You're a grown man now.""I still want to be called 'my dear Austin'..." I gave her a pout."Ohhh I know that pout, caused me grief when you were a little boy. You were a big crier, such a big baby." She chuckled reminiscing.I appreciated my mother but I knew all too well that all she did was give birth and hand the child to Mrs. Brown to take care of. My mother had her good night's sleep while Mrs. Brown did all her motherly duties. My mother could not r

"I told you, he was as friendly as could be..." Thomas said taking a spoonful of his food.For the first time, I felt the urge to roll my eyes at him.For someone whom I had been missing so much, I only felt nothing but annoyance.Would they still think Austin was a saint if I told them about all his deeds... how he had sneaked in and invaded every bit of privacy till I could practically breathe the same air as him. For something meant to disgust me, how scared and fearful I had been...I found myself wishing I had given in. I found myself, waiting for him to budge through the door and start a squabble with me for what so ever reason that it would land him in between my thighs.I gulped down a feeling of guilt when I looked at Thomas who could not stop letting me know about horse facts that I had no interest in knowing.He looked at me adoringly and assured me he missed me so much.I missed him as well..."Merri?" My brother called, I diverted my attention to him.It was as if I exp