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Is 'How To Stop Being A Narcissist' Worth Reading?

2026-03-09 16:37:44

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3 Answers

Graham

I was recommended this book by my therapist after complaining of exhaustion caused by 'people-pleasing'. It is an ironic read in many ways, as whilst reading it I came to realize that I have been attempting to gain admiration from others for being 'the nice one', rather than actually pleasing anyone.

The book will also reveal to you that there are more than just loud egocentric individuals that define Narcissism. You will also read about Covert Narcissists who play victim, make you feel guilty for needing to be alone, etc. The journal prompts really did help me identify a major pattern of my ‘humbly’ dismissing compliments, and my secret desire for more adoration. Yes, some of the sections read like homework, but that is kind of the point. It’s not for people who want to hear how wonderful they are. It’s for people who are willing to read some stuff that will make them squirm a little.

2026-03-12

Helena

There were 3 things that surprised me. 1) It was really funny for such a dark subject (‘Congratulations, your narcissism made you buy a book about narcissism’). 2) You don’t come to realize that the childhood wounds created the narcissistic traits. 3) The ‘are you a narcissist?’ quiz wasn’t another clickbait list. While my score did end up being somewhat high, the book immediately started to explain how labels don’t matter as much as change does.

Replacing “I’m better than them” with “I’m different from them” can help you to switch from a competitive to a curious mindset. This seems simple but is very effective. Now I notice more often when I’m mentally ranking people and I immediately stop doing that. This is progress, not perfection!

2026-03-13

Ian

How to Stop Being a Narcissist is a book I picked up randomly (at the suggestion of a friend who said that taking this book of self-help would be good for me because I take a lot of selfies). In the end the book is not as dry as I expected. It’s also not just “bad” for you. Instead the author attempts to explain why certain Narcissistic behaviors have developed. For example why some people use their charm to protect themselves and others why some people crave validation in order to fill emptiness. I highlighted several sections, but one of the things that really stood out for me was the chapter on “micro-empathy” and how to practice these small steps of truly listening to another person rather than waiting for your chance to speak.

I also really appreciated the chapter on “micro-empathy” and the various exercises the author outlined to practice really listening to others on a daily basis. Although it was not a book with a “quick fix” for the author, it was really thoughtfully written and gave a lot of insight into why people develop narcissistic tendencies. As someone who struggles with this, I found the book to be really insightful and also somewhat “liberating”. Although I still catch myself frequently falling into various narcissistic traps, I have also become much more aware of when I am slipping into various modes of behavior and am able to think to myself, “oh there’s that fragile ego again” in the middle of rolling my eyes.

2026-03-14

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