Actually Funny Jokes For Adults Novels & Stories

“But, I mean, if you’re that desperate, bro, I don’t mind jerking you off. Charity work. For old times’ sake.” I stared at him. Deadpan. For a full three seconds. Then I said, voice flat as asphalt, “Even as a joke, that wasn’t funny.” He threw his head back and howled while Ellis choked on his beer, coughing and laughing at the same time, tears actually forming at the corners of his eyes. It wasn’t fun being the fucked-up sideshow. I took one last drag then crushed the joint out in the ashtray so hard the glass cracked.

“Whatever you’re doing at ‘work’ tonight… hurry home. Both of you can fuck me senseless for all I care.” I snorted at my own joke, then immediately winced because yeah, that was a weird thing to say even alone. Little did I know how soon that joke was going to bite me right in the ass. And how much I was going to enjoy it when it did. [ You might be reading this wrong, but trust me, the real thrill is still ahead.^^]

“Yeah, and you know what’s the worst part? He is hot. Infuriatingly hot. It’s like the universe played some cruel joke. ‘Hey, here’s a guy who’s a total jerk, but let’s make him look like a freaking god just to mess with you.’” Ellie smirked, raising her glass again. “Maybe it’s a good thing you’re stuck with him. You are hot, he is hot. If you ever had kids, they would be ridiculously hot. Like, the world wouldn’t be able to handle it. That’s a lot of hotness.” I snorted. “Yeah, if he doesn’t rip the baby from my stomach first.” We both burst out laughing, the absurdity of it all hitting us at once. The alcohol was doing its job, and suddenly everything was funny—too funny. The more we dra

I couldn't help but laugh at her, she rolled her eyes as I sat next to her. We were having a rather awkward but nice lunch. Jessica was having a livid chat with Nick and Cindy while Emily and Simon chatted with Elliott and Sandra. We are just trying to make it less awkward as Jennifer just make up silly and stupid little jokes which for some reason I found funny. Everything was alright until someone cleared his throat making us all turn around to look at him. We all turned except Jennifer who wasn't really paying attention, she is just calmly eating her pizza.

SCARLETT'S POV. I was completely right. The party was boring as hell, and from the looks of things we weren't even near done here. And then even worse, the annoying as fuck MC who thoughts his jokes were so funny but they were obviously not, had been wasting so much time on the third segment of the programme which was jokes and riddles, that I almost threw my shoe at him. If I heard one more uncle joke coming from his mouth, I could just do it right there, damning all the consequences.

I rolled his eyes, "...Laugh all you want it's true" She couldn't breathe after laughing so hard her back looked like it hurt a bit, Just then the nurse came by and saw her laughing so hard and asked, "What's so funny dear?" Shit, she isn't supposed to know since she's human. "I was just telling her a joke to cheer her up ma'am" "May I hear it?' Shiiiiit

Lucas looked at the dozens of Wild Bull Dark Races in front of him and said, "Is there anything funny about this?" A Rank 5 Earth King Ranked Realm Wild Bull said to Lucas, "Human, this is the funniest joke I've ever heard in my life. Don't you think it's funny!?" ...

Okay, this shit got to stop, maybe I should try a joke or something? “Hello triple Ds” I say chuckling awkwardly and they just stand there not knowing what to say. “you know, because the names of the three of you starts with a D” I explain my bad joke. “Yah we got it” Dylan says with a fake chuckle, okay, maybe that joke can still be saved. “I’m a double D myself” I say laughing liking my own joke and all their eyes instantly go to my breasts. I choke in my laughter when Derek lets out an angry growl and I sink further inside my hoodie while Dylan starts counting the specks of dust on the floor and Dean find the light fixtures very interesting all of a sudden.

"I thought I knew how to make an omelette. I guess not." "Don't beat yourself up, or should I say cut yourself up?" "Haha, that was terrible." "It was good, it was a good joke," "Then how come I'm not laughing?" "Cause I think you cut up your funny bone too," Marcus couldn't hold back his laugh, "that made no sense, at all." "Yet you laughed, so mission accomplished. When I was a kid, my dad would make a bunch of dad jokes whenever we got hurt just to distract us from the pain, they were rarely funny." Marcus chuckled. "But it's the effort that counts, huh?"

When my joke lands she tilts her head back to laugh, shaking her head as she looks at me. "You're ridiculous." She says. "You're smiling." I respond. She gives me that warm look again and I wonder what's going through her mind at this moment. "You got any other ones?" She asks and I wrack my brain for any other dad jokes. "Um... The circus lion ate the clown but didn't finish." I say. "Why?" She asks. "Because he tasted funny." I respond and Harper chuckles again. "More." She teases, but I just shrug.