Novel & Cerita Actually I Was There Alone

No one is coming after me. I slow once I realize that. No one is coming after me. No enemy is coming after me. No one who cares about me is coming after me either. The ones I love don’t want to see if I’m okay. Whatever I did must have been so horrifying that no one dares come near me. No one wants me near them. I am completely alone in a way that I've never been before. And I don't know what to do now. But I do know that I’m on my own.

“No visitors today either?” “No,” I said quietly, looking away. “And that’s how I want it.” She nodded like she understood more than she let on and left the room without pressing. I turned onto my side, ignoring the protest from my ribs, and stared at the wall. No parents. No Elias. No Clara coming to gloat. No friends who probably didn’t even know I was here because I’d never told them how bad things had gotten. Just me, the machines, and the quiet realization that I had finally become exactly what I’d always feared: completely alone.

I still have to go to his apartment later. Alone. SHIT.

I was out to burn this prom to the ground, to burn out this sadness that dwelled in the pit of my chest and watch the smoke evaporate into the atmosphere, to solo dance till my legs gave out. I was a bit strong to carry that out. I was not here alone. Miss Beatrice was here with me and Morris; of course, we couldn't leave him behind. They just had to be there to take pictures with me and go back home, I was going to get back home on my own.

I didn’t see him. I didn’t hear him. But deep down, I knew. I hadn’t been alone. And that realization terrified me.

No escape. She was alone. I was not. The silver light blazed. I saw my opening.

“We still have a few more minutes to walk to the hotel. Come on.” We started walking away from the amusement park and since Mizuki told me that the hotel I’m looking for will only be a walking distance, I trusted him that I would never be late for the event. "Is this your first time traveling alone?" I heard him talking to me again. "Yes. I had no other choice, but to follow my mom even though I have no one accompanying me to come here.” I suddenly felt gloomy. “It’s just me.” “What do you mean it’s just you?” I looked at him again and he was just staring at me, waiting for my reply.

"I’m here. I’m not going anywhere." I held on tighter. I didn’t care how desperate I looked. I didn’t care about anything except the fact that I wasn’t alone. Ramon was here. And for now, that was enough.

He narrows his eyes at me. I don’t want to, but I can feel the sting of incoming tears threatening to pour out. It’s the damn hormones. “You can’t leave me all alone in this big place you call – whatever it is you want to call it – and not expect me to be lonely, okay? I was in here all by myself in a city I didn’t know existed up until two days ago. So you must forgive me if I stepped out to do something with my time since you weren’t available to make it worth my while.”

I might have let myself believe I wasn’t completely alone. But he didn’t. He wouldn’t. So I turned. And walked away.