Best Dark Jokes

She's my best friend's sister, which meant she was off-limits. But I could never keep my distance, because I had always wanted Mia. I tried hard to resist my feelings for her, yet, I couldn't. So, I walked away, thinking it was the right thing to do. Now, ten years later, I've made a name for myself. I’m a billionaire with everything I ever dreamed of—except for one thing: Mia. When I see her again, she’s not the shy girl I once knew. No, she’s confident, strong, and still the one person who has the power to make me lose control. However, she’s also cold and distant, treating me like just another client, a stranger. She has every reason to hate me. But this time, I’m not walking away.

It was the third year of my secret relationship with Garrett, my Alpha brother's best friend. Marcus laughed and nudged Garrett playfully. "You've been with that little mate of yours for three years now. When are you going to introduce her to the pack?" I pressed myself against the doorframe, my heart racing. Had my brother figured out our secret? Garrett just laughed it off. "What mate? Just some crazy she-wolf who won't leave me alone." Marcus caught sight of me and grinned. "Sage, you see this? Never pick a mate like Garrett here." "Takes everything a female offers but won't even acknowledge the bond." Just then, more of Marcus's friends arrived, and they joined in the teasing. "Your brother's right, but Garrett's had his heart set on someone for years." "What was her name again? Oh right, Aria. She's returning to the pack soon." I'd heard that name before - Aria. But Garrett had never told me she was his true love.

Did he ever love me, did he ever care. No, no he didn’t. I spoke to myself as I was speaking with Damon the only one man who showed he actually cared but Zade, Zade , Zade didn’t care, he only used me to please his selfish ego, to fill his sexual desires, he was nothing more than just a temptation. My best friend brother was nothing more than just a temptation. “Did you really care, or was I just your show off, answer me Zade” I demanded of him but he stayed quiet, I guess I finally have my answer. Zade didn’t care but little did I know that he actually did, that he actually cared for me, should I turn back or should I accept. I guess it’s left to fate.

May lihim na pagtingin si Arianne sa best friend ng daddy Henry niya na si Josh kaya nang malaman niya na iiwan muna siya dito ng tatlong linggo ay walang pag-aalinlangan na pumayag siya kaagad para makasama ito. Aware naman siya na may girlfriend ito ngunit ang makasama lang niya ito ay masaya na siya. Kasama ni Josh na nakatira sa bahay niya ang girlfriend na si Lira. Maayos naman ang pakiktungo nito sa kanya. She's working as a fashion designer. Palagi itong wala kaya madalas na silang dalawa lang ng best friend ng dad niya ang magkasama. Isang gabi ay umuwi na nakainom ng alak si Josh. Nagkamali ito ng kuwarto na pinasukan. Imbis na sa kuwarto nilang dalawa ng girlfriend niya ay sa kuwarto kung nasaan si Arianne ito nakapasok. Akala niya ay ang girlfriend niya ang nakahiga doon ngunit hindi pala. Nakainom rin si Arianne dahil dumalo ito sa birthday party ng isa niyang kaibigan kaya humiga kaagad ito pagkapasok sa kuwarto kung saan siya natutulog habang nandoon sa bahay ni Josh. Bigla na lang niya naimulat ang kanyang mga mata dahil naramdaman niya na may malaki at matipunong katawan na pumatong sa ibabaw niya. Hubo't hubad ito. Her eyes got bigger when she saw who it was—Josh. Itutulak sana niya ito ngunit malakas ito kaya wala siyang nagawa. Nagustuhan naman nga niya ang ginagawa nito sa kanya hanggang sa may nangyari sa kanilang dalawa. Parehas silang dalawa nabigla kinabukasan sa nangyari. They found themselves naked lying on the bed. Ano ang gagawin nila? Paalisin kaya siya ni Josh sa bahay nito dahil sa nangyaring 'yon o hindi? Paano na ang girlfriend niya? Will it be the end of their relationship and the beginning of his fantasies with Arianne the woman he desires for so long?

Ella Sandoval is a heartless cold killer. Lumaki sya sa mundong walang kaawaan dapat ang mapang-lamang! Dapat parusahan ng kamatayan ang may sala! and that's her oath. In return, she will give you your karma! Not until she meets Silverio Guerrero the Mayor of her own beloved town who adores helping his people. But one day the good mayor witnessed her doings and ended up not just saving her but drowned loving her. Will he be able to save her after knowing what she's up to?

Lara Austen is the CEO of SignaBook, and the only daughter of James and Tola Austen. Her parents' only concern is for her to get married but that is the least of Lara’s concern. At the age of 24 she is one of the youngest leading business women in Yula and she has her eyes set on being one of the top among businessmen in Yula. Clark Rique the CEO of Dames and the best friend of Lai Austen, Lara’s brother. He is the next in line to succeed the number one company in all of Yula, Dames. A mobile phone company that not only sells phones but also produces apps. Clark and Lara have a bittersweet relationship, mostly filled with dislike for one another as they can’t bear each other's behaviour though they are linked through their relationship with Lai. Due to a family betrayal Clark is forced to get married in the span of less than two months, causing him to propose a marriage of convenience to Lara. Will Lara be able to bear Clark cold and domineering behaviour? Will Clark be able to survive Lara’s stubborn and sassy behaviour? Would they be able to put their differences aside and make this marriage work? Would this marriage evolve from a marriage of convenience into a love marriage? Theme: Arranged marriage, Romance, Business, Love

A fresh out college mess decided to have a few harmless drinks before going to see her father. Well, a very irresistible stranger wasn't so harmless so why not risk it. Little did she know that he was someone close to her father. Her father's best friend. *********** “Tell me what you want,” he demanded. “You,” I gasped. “Harder. Please.” He gave it to me. Relentless. Possessive. One hand pinned my wrists above my head; the other gripped my hip, angling me exactly how he wanted. “You’re mine tonight,” he said against my throat, teeth grazing skin. “Say it.” “I’m yours,” I breathed, lost in him.

Born into a world full of evil, Nina's family were brutally murdered. She loses her memory from the tragic incident and sold out by her adopted father as a breeder. However, fate has its way of playing its games. On the day of the mating ceremony, she is mated to a ruthless alpha cursed with darkness. She is torment by him and chosen as a vessel to absorb his curse. But when two enemies are mated, desire and love begin to stir up their hearts.  Aside from being mates, they are destined to kill each other or perish by the hands of their enemies. Which would they choose? Play by the hands of fate or by the hands of their foes?

Lumaking magkahiwalay si Dane at ang kakambal niyang si Dianne nang magkahiwalay ang mga magulang nila. Siya ay lumaki sa hirap habang ang kakambal ay lumaki sa marangyang buhay. Wala ng ibang hiling si Dane kundi ang mapayapa at tahimik lang na buhay, pero isang araw, may dumating na isang lalaki, at ibinalita nito sa kanya ang tunay niyang pagkatao kasama na dun ang pagkawala ng kakambal niyang kapatid. Then a man wearing a black mask came, and his name is Dark. Tama ang sinabi ni Calil na aakalainin nito na siya ang babaeng hinahanap nito! Dahil naiipit na siya sa sitwasyon ay pumayag siyang sumama rito at para mabigyan ng hustisya ang pagamatay ng kakambal niya. Pero hanggang kailan niya kayang magpanggap? Magagawa ba niyang pigilan ang pusong umibig kay Dark? Gayong kaya siyang ipagkalulu ng kanyang sarili sa bawat halik at yakap nito. O ang tamang tanong, magagawa ba niyang paibigin ang isang Dark De'Longhi? "This isn't romance. You're not a damsel in distress and I'm not the handsome prince who comes to save you."

R18+ “Fuck off, Azrael!” I snapped despite the crippling fear coiling tightly in my gut. “So you're a mouthy brat with me but a wet mouse with the others?” Those cold, green eyes narrowed. “I'm the one you should be afraid of, Saphielle, me. You do not know what I'm capable of.” ~ ~ ~ Everyone dreams of getting into ‘Velmorne Academy’ but it was an exclusive college to only the Elites. Only those at the top, you know, the 1% kind of rich? Yeah, exactly. So when I got accepted, I thought it was a miracle—It was a trap. Suddenly, the bullying started, and everyone hated me. And worst of all? Azrael, the Alpha prince, has made me his special prey. He says I belong to him and he’d do whatever it takes to make me his. It's hilarious and crazy cause he has a fiancè and I’m just a nobody. It makes no sense. He’s an arrogant asshole. And I fucking hate him. He's the bane of my existence and yet, I keep provoking him. Now I get dreams that I do not understand…they are strange, violent, terrifying—it messes with my sanity and distorts reality. And I’m convinced it has something to do with this school. And Azrael? He’s at the center of it. ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~••~•~•~•~• WARNING: This book contains dark themes and content that some might find disturbing or distressing. Contents like: Bullying, Murder, Violence, Obsession, Explicit steamy scenes, Manipulation, etc…