Best Your Mom Jokes

My boyfriend Orion was the leading hunter of the Bright Moon Pack, who was sent on an S-class mission three years ago. Before he left, he told me to wait for his return, after which he would mark me. Holding him to his promise, I waited for over a thousand days, and he eventually did come back. I was delighted, but just ten days after I blissfully prepared for the marking ceremony, I overheard him speaking with his fellow hunters. "Are you sure you're going to mark Elara? What about Dahlia and Emery? Especially Emery—the pup's two years old and looks just like you. There's no hiding it at all." "Hell, the whole thing about a secret mission was a farce, to cover up for you hanging around for Emery's birth. If Elara knew the truth…" Orion shot his deputy a sharp glare right then. "Just tell Dahlia to keep her mouth shut and hide the pup. Elara's the only one for me." Dahlia? The pup? As it turned out, in those three years I was worried sick for him, he had a pup with another woman. My knuckles clenched, I returned to my room and called my father. "Dad, I want to go home."

Life always has it's nature. Nature to make you feel anything you didn't expect to happen. It's always ups and downs but this life is different from others. Joanabe's, who is so passionate about music. Dreams to become a musician. Fate always has its way for her. Is it really worth it?When she found her first unrequited love, Kane married her childhood friend Cheryl? Who later become pregnant.The heartbroken Joanabe griefs for the sudden news and takes away her life but gets reborn in a baby's body, not just anybody's baby. Kane and Cheryl's child."Honey! What will be her name?" Ask Cheryl."Her name is Joenabell, my child," Kane replied happily to his beloved wife while kissing his child's forehead.WAI-WAIT! KA-KANE?! H-HE KISSED MY FOREHEAD! MY FOREHEAD!I, Joanabe inside Joenabell's body become their child. What the hell! F**k life.Is it her karma?-or perhaps a second chance?

Liam Patrick Owen, a 17 year old gay young man, who has been homeless for the last two years of his life; living on the streets and doing what he has to do to survive in life from day to day; moment to moment and second to second. Riley Aegon Grayson, a 23 year old bisexual man who is the president of the motorcycle club, The Gray Rebel's since he was 18 years old. Most people view these clubs and the members as bad but that isn't true for all. Once of Riley's Patch holders finds Liam and brings the young man to his brother to figure out what should be done with Liam. Liam is usually terrified of everyone especially men but he has an instant connect with Black Jack and one of the women in the club. What will Riley do with Liam and will Black Jack allow it.

"Bagaimana jika aku bolos sekolah hari ini?" gadis berparas cantik tengah berbisik dengan sahabatnya yang sebangku dengannya. Gadis yang saat ini masih duduk di bangku SMA, memiliki cita-cita yang tinggi untuk menjadi seorang penyanyi. Pertemuannya dengan seorang lelaki yang dermawan membuat hidupnya berubah drastis. Percintaan, pengorbanan dan kesakitan karena mencintai juga terjadi dalam kisah gadis ini. Siapa gadis ini? Sebab, ia juga mampu meluluhkan hati seorang Pria dermawan yang akan membuat hidupnya semakin berwarna. Lalu, bagaimana cara dirinya meraih cita-citanya untuk menjadi penyanyi terkenal?

My cousin, Isabelle Cox, dies of cancer. However, my adoptive parents, who have always loved her the most, don't shed a single tear. Instead, they go on an overseas trip with my adoptive brother, Cedric Cox. After they return, they give me an exquisite doll and ask me to put it right next to my bed every night. My adoptive mother, Vivian Mason, looks at my swollen eyes and smiles tenderly. "Why, you're such a grateful and sentimental kid. This is such a pretty doll. Let it stay by your side and accompany you like it's your sister, alright?" I agree. Later, my body becomes increasingly weak, and I sleep all day. One day, when I wake up, I am horrified to find that I am trapped inside the doll and can't move at all. My deceased cousin, Isabelle, became "me"! Beaming widely, she cuts my hair and also my limbs one by one. Then, she throws my mutilated body into the fire. As the flames engulf me, I see my adoptive family standing behind her. On their faces, they show happy and relieved expressions. When I open my eyes again, I am back to the day when they give me the doll.

The moment I was pushed into the river by my six stepbrothers and drowned there, I was still clutching a piece of candy my mom had given me. When I open my eyes again, I curl up in my swaddle as a one-month-old baby. That's when I notice six children glaring at me darkly with their hands outstretched, ready to strangle me. As I stare at them, I begin cursing them out mentally. "Just you wait till the day I can speak, you bastards!" My mom rushes out of the kitchen instantly. "It's a rare occasion for me to cook for the family, so I told you to keep an eye on your baby sister. Why are you cursing all of a sudden?" The brothers swap glances with each other in confusion. The oldest brother, Alex Finch, scratches his head. "You must be hearing things, Mom. We were about to play with Meadow. No one was speaking just now." Upon hearing Alex's shameless words, I continue cursing him out silently. "You're the most shameless bastard I've ever seen! When I'm three years old, you'll plot to sell me to an old single man in the countryside! Screw you!" Mom's hands tremble slightly at that moment. She quickly picks me up, her eyes as wide as saucers. I flash a toothless grin at her in return. "Don't be scared, Mom. This time, I'll definitely protect you!" Watch as I, a one-month-old baby, send my bastard of a father as well as the six ungrateful brats to prison!

When Alex, a twenty-one year old girl from a poor family, made a financial decision that made her family almost poor. Now her mother suffers from a deadly stroke that leaves her paralyzed and her younger sister, Emily, has gotten admission into the prestigious university of Greenville. Alex is confused and scared. She doesn't want to loose her mom and she also doesn't want her sister to loose her admission slot. But when a job offer comes in as a house keeper in the billionaire Beverly's Mansion, Alex is relieved. Until she finds out the being a male is the main criteria for the job. Alex is desperate, so she agrees. Find out as Alex copes with tying her boobs every morning with a bandage and developing feelings for her boss,the Billionaire Logan Beverly. *** *Snippet* I shift my suspicion aside and continued watching. Alex removed the baggy jeans he wore and was left in a lacy panty I scoffed loudly. My male housekeeper wore panties? I shook my head in confusion. Was he one of those men that had a weird kind of sexual kink? The he stalked into the bathroom. I was tempted to stop. Why was I even bothering watching him undress? It felt weird. But I wanted to know more about that bandage around him. What if he brought in a weapon and concealed it underneath the bandage? I needed to find out. My jaws dropped at what I saw. Alex had boobs! I wiped my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. How is it possible for a man to have boobs? What's going on here? Alex finally removed the last piece of clothing he had on. And only then did it dawn on me that Alex was in fact, a 'she'.

*Excerpt from a small excerpt: Shophia Marin ran as fast as she could to escape the large mansion. Running a long distance, he probably couldn't catch up, she turned her head to see that the mansion was no longer there, so she took a break under the tree. System, is Ralius still chasing me? [ Host, stop chasing but... ] But what? [But when people ran out of here, it pissed him off... the host made him black... he was right behind the host] Huh!!! "Shophia Marin, I'm too far from the villa to run away to relax." - Ralius lifted Marin's chin and forced her to lean against the tree trunk to support her head with her hands, dark eyes looking at her. The black male villain is terrible, the system saves me. [Sorry host I can't help] "You are becoming more and more intelligent, next time I will monitor you." - Ralius carried Marin on his shoulder and returned to the mansion. "Forgive me, I don't want to be here." - Don't trust this useless system in the first place.

Dua kali mengalami patah hati membuat Ran memutuskan untuk mengunci rapat-rapat seluruh pintu hatinya. Ia tidak ingin mengalami sakit yang sama untuk kali ketiga. Namun, apakah ia bisa mempertahankan keyakinannya untuk tidak jatuh cinta lagi? Apakah mungkin tidak ada yang bisa menyentuh hatinya lagi? Kenyataan membuat Ran tidak bisa menghindar. Takdir cinta sudah ditetapkan oleh semesta. Bagaimanapun ia mengunci rapat hatinya, pasti ada yang bisa menyentuh hingga ia merasakan lagi bagaimana cinta membuat jantungnya berdebar.

Award-winning Author Marie Lavender brings a captivating, passionate love story about a young heiress and a devilishly charming ship captain. All set in two coastal French towns… After being raised to believe that love is a frivolous endeavor, French heiress Fara Bellamont has always kept her dreams of adventure and discovering a soul-searing passion to herself. So, when Captain Grant Hill makes his grand entrance into her life by way of rescuing her one fateful night, she knows she’s in trouble. He completely steals her heart. But, as far as society is concerned, he’s also not a suitable husband. Grant Hill, a mysterious, rugged ship captain, is just as enthralled with Fara as she is with him, but he too knows such things aren’t so simple. Not only must they overcome social expectations to be together, but wars and lies, as well. And with a long-time yearning neither has managed to achieve, the pair must fight to attain their deepest desire: Happiness. If you love steamy, romantic tales by Tessa Dare, Julia Quinn, and Christi Caldwell, then you’ll adore this exciting and intricate Historical Romance set by the sea.