Novel & Cerita Best Your Mom Jokes

My mother despised me because I was the unintended consequence of a one-night stand. She poured all her love and attention into her students, treating them as if they were her own flesh and blood. One day, when her favourite pupil confessed his feelings for me, she flew into a rage. She slapped me hard across the face and called me a whore. Years later, as Alzheimer's clouded her mind, she forgot I even existed, yet still remembered every single one of her precious students. The irony was that not one of them ever came to visit her in the nursing home. They all loathed her just as much as I did.

I was born just one minute after Tiara, but the world treated that one minute as if it lasted a lifetime. She was the star. I was the shadow. She was flawless. I was the afterthought. She was loved. I was forgotten. Even by Reagan de Russo, heir to the wealthiest family in the country and the man I had secretly loved for the past ten years. But to him, there was only Tiara. And when he proposed to her, I knew my quiet little dream had finally died. Until that day came. The day Tiara left him at the altar. The day the world stopped turning for just a second. The day the man who had never even glanced my way, turned to me and asked me to take her place. I knew what I was. An escape. A damage control. A backup plan. And I... I was too tired of being strong. So I said yes. We married. Without love. Without a future. Just a one-year contract and a life of make-believe in front of flashing cameras and watching eyes. But the longer I stayed by his side, the harder it became to tell what was real and what was just part of the performance. Because for the first time... Reagan saw me. But can love truly grow from the ruins of lies, old wounds, and the shadow of a woman who’s always been his first choice? Or will I always be… only the second best?

“ You lied to me! You weren’t who you showed yourself to be! I hate-“ before she could say those three words, I sealed her mouth shut with a rough kiss.

Maria Rodriguez a 20 year old young woman living in New York who just graduated from Harvard. She and her best friend Jason go out to a club with they friends Lola, Carla, Adam and Ben. While the other two were dancing with other guys Jason and Maria had one two many drinks and one thing led to another. **** Jason Mendez a spoilt rich boy, always gets what he wants, a ladies man, he falls in love with his best friend, and is determined to get her. Will he be able too?

This is the seventh year of my arranged marriage to Frank Jackson, yet he is constantly seeing other women. Because of that, I become known in our circle as the ever-tolerant wife. Everyone is watching and waiting to see when a mistress will finally replace me. But when I unexpectedly get pregnant, I hear a furious voice screaming at me from my belly in my mind. "Mommy, are you some holy saint? In your past life, you kept tolerating everything. That was exactly why my scumbag dad's mistress drove you out and left you for dead on the streets! "That vile woman is practically trampling all over you. How can you not fight back? Slap her! While you're at it, give my fool of a dad a good slap, too! The more you tolerate, the more people push their luck. You need to stand up for yourself and divorce that scumbag!" I swallow nervously, but my hand is already itching to act. Maybe I should try doing what the baby says...

My younger brother, Owen Rivera, and I are playing in Dad's refrigerated truck. Owen wants to grab my ice cream from me, but I refuse to let him have his way. He shoves me forcefully, causing me to lose my balance and fall to the floor, knocking me out on the spot. When I finally wake up and locate him in the freezer, I find out that he's gotten reduced to a frozen statue. The security footage shows that Owen has been screaming the words "Mommy, help me!" hysterically for three hours before his death. After Mom is done watching the footage, she breaks down on the spot. Then, she yanks me by my hair before slamming me against the wall. "What were you doing? You were at the entrance, dammit! Why didn't you open the door for Owen?" With reddened eyes, Dad throws me into the freezer. "Owen was cold and frightened in the freezer! You should have a taste of the same thing too!" The thick and heavy door is slammed in my face. Darkness and a bone-chilling coldness devour me instantly. I curl into a small ball in the corner Owen has just died in. My teeth are starting to chatter, and my consciousness is starting to slip away. I'm sorry, Mom and Dad. I don't feel cold. I'm not cold at all. I will never eat ice cream ever again in my next lifetime.

Ever since anyone could remember; Elena Sergio and Matthew Marcello had been best of friends, the ride or die type of friends. But when Elena's crush asks another girl out on the day she planned to tell him her feelings right in front of her; Elena is left heart broken and distraught.After a night of drunkenness and sex; Elena and Matthew's 'friendship' take a left turn. With the new unexpected event; Elena finds out secrets that not only threaten her friendship with Matthew but also risk her losing him forever.

Mia is charged with the responsibility to watch over the pack's most popular boy, cole for her friend Nicole who is on a heart surgery. It makes her a stalker and always gets caught up with his friend Miles, her sworn enemy. However, what if she was watching over the wrong Cole?

Betrayed by her husband and stepmother, Asa ended up having a one night stand with a stranger. After which she left her city. Years later, she's back. Situations forced her into a temporal marriage with a stranger who turned out to be Biden Hali, the CEO of the city's biggest company, who surprisingly had the same resemblance with her son. Biden however despises Asa as he was already planning to wed his childhood sweetheart before he was pressured to marry Asa. But by the time Biden Hali finds out the truth: That Asa is actually his childhood sweetheart and that her genius son was for him, she was already long gone- with their baby. Biden will do anything to win her and their baby back, including spoiling her rotten with love and affection. Will he be able to win her back considering the fact that she had already grown to become a billionaire, wanted by thousands of superwealthy bachelors?

I was born with a genetic disorder. My father left as soon as he found out, and my illness quickly drained all my mother’s savings. To afford my treatment, she moved me from one stranger’s home to another, until she chose to have a child for money. After giving birth to a baby boy and receiving twelve thousand dollars, she was about to leave, but the man asked her to stay. He promised to raise me as his own and cover my medical expenses. She agreed. They married soon after. She told me I would always be the one she loved most. To prove it, she rarely held my brother and almost never smiled at him. Until the day he accidentally swallowed my medicine. As she frantically tried to save him, she broke down and screamed at me, “Why are you still alive?” I watched them rush to the hospital. Then I went back to my room, picked up the scattered pills, and swallowed them all. Mom, I wouldn't be a burden to you anymore.