Best Your Mom Jokes

He will own every breath she take, every beat of her racing heart, and every inch of her human body until she give in. He will make her his property.

Hallie is determined to become the best female top warrior no matter what it takes. She is not going to let anything stop her, not even some mate bond that she doesn't even want. Until she meets Hugh while away training for a place in the kingdom, will Hallie be able to achieve her dreams, or will she give it all up for a mate who is determined not to let her go? I stood there, feeling all pairs of eyes on me, as if I were on display. Their gazes bore into me, waiting for my reaction. I was at a loss for words. What the hell was I meant to say? I barely knew them, and now I had just found out their son was my mate. The mate that I never wanted. All I wanted was to train and become the warrior I had always dreamt of. This was my worst nightmare come true. “Well?” My so-called mate grinned at me with his hands in his pockets, as if he knew that I was struggling. I glared at him, feeling a surge of anger and frustration. He must be so arrogant, I thought to myself. I wanted to reject him there and then, but his parents were watching me excitedly. They were obviously pleased their son had found his mate. I, on the other hand, was not pleased.

“I Dante Hernandez Alpha of the Crimson Pack reject you Queen of Barbosa,” he smirks at her. “And I Daniella Maynard reject your rejection King of Narcissism.” Dante Hernandez the cruellest and the cruellest and the most fearless Alpha of Crimson Pack reject Daniella Maynard when she was fifteen years of age. His mate who has a really hard past and was almost on the brink of death when her brother in-law came to her rescue and took her away from her pack. Daniella was barely surviving from her demons when Dante shows up and rejected her instantly without explanation of her knowing that he was her mate. What really hurts the most is when he compares her to his chosen or ex-mate, just like everyone in her past. Five years later and they met again, will Dante still do the rejection or will it be the other way around.

Life always has it's nature. Nature to make you feel anything you didn't expect to happen. It's always ups and downs but this life is different from others. Joanabe's, who is so passionate about music. Dreams to become a musician. Fate always has its way for her. Is it really worth it?When she found her first unrequited love, Kane married her childhood friend Cheryl? Who later become pregnant.The heartbroken Joanabe griefs for the sudden news and takes away her life but gets reborn in a baby's body, not just anybody's baby. Kane and Cheryl's child."Honey! What will be her name?" Ask Cheryl."Her name is Joenabell, my child," Kane replied happily to his beloved wife while kissing his child's forehead.WAI-WAIT! KA-KANE?! H-HE KISSED MY FOREHEAD! MY FOREHEAD!I, Joanabe inside Joenabell's body become their child. What the hell! F**k life.Is it her karma?-or perhaps a second chance?

Takhta, harta dan wanita adalah 3 hal yang tidak dapat di lepaskan dari sosok penguasa negeri sampai rasanya itu sudah menjadi turun temurun antar kaum bangsawan. Semua orang berebut untuk mendapatkan takhta, merebut harta dan memiliki wanita, tapi tidak dengan pangeran yang satu ini. Keinginan hidup atas jerih payahnya membuatnya rela melepas statusnya sebagai pangeran mahkota, tapi sebuah kejadian membuatnya berubah menjadi sosok yang di takuti semua orang. Kejam, tiada ampun dan pemain wanita sudah melekat dalam namanya. Seluruh penjuru mengenalnya hingga ke telinga orang yang menjadikannya menjadi seperti ini. Mungkinkah orang tersebut akan kembali bertemu dengan sang pangeran untuk memperbaiki segalanya? Atau hanya akan memperburuk keadaan?

All of her life, Maville Costas was born with a golden spoon in her mouth. She was the only heiress of the Costas Corporation, the family's Princess, and labeled as the richest elite in the country. She lived her life following all the dreams her mother built for her. Mistakes aren't allowed in her life as she needs to maintain her perfect image in the crowd. She was caged in the darkness, not being able to find the light that could save her. Living her life was tormenting for her not until she met Zyril, the man that is the epitome of a dream. The moment she looked into his eyes was when she knew she was home; she finds peace and solace in him. She knew then that he's the light that could free her from the darkness. But not the way, Zyril sees it, because the moment his eyes landed on her was the moment he knew she's so hard to reach. However, you can't control the wild beating of your heart. When they both fall in love with each finding each other comfort, they didn't know the storm that was coming in their ways. That eyes that once scream home for her were all in the past now as his eyes tell once serenity in her life.

Isang malaking aral sa buhay ng isang tao na dapat huwag mong husgahan ang iyong kapwa ayon sa nakikita mo lamang. Kung hindi mo kilala ang kanyang tunay na pagkatao mas maigi kung mananahimik ka at huwag kang magbitaw ng mga nakakasakit na salita. Huwag mainggit sa tagumpay ng iba. Kung nais mo rin na magtagumpay kagaya ng kapwa mo. Isaisip mo na kung kaya niya kakayanin mo rin na pagtagumpayan ang narating niya. Maaaring mabilis ang pag-angat niya dahil mas maabilidad siya kaysa sa'yo. Dahan-dahan ka lang, balang araw may mararating ka rin. Kahit gaano man ka bagal ang lakad ng isang pagong kung dala niya ang kanyang sapat na determinasyon makakarating parin siya sa kanyang paruruunan. Ang pagkakaroon ng matatag, matapang at mapang-unawa na katuwang sa buhay ay isang biyaya ng panginoon. Ako ay matatawag na nagmula sa madilim na nakaraan. Mula sa sirang pamilya, kinamumuhian ang haligi ng tahanan dahil pinagpalit niya kami sa kanyang kabit. Maswerti na rin kami dahil may matapang at matatag kaming ina na nagsumikap para kami ay gabayan. Napakaswerti rin niya ng muling nakatagpo ng kabiyak na handang tumayo bilang aming ama. Pinangako ko sa aking sarili na hindi ko gagayahin ang aking ama. Pinangako kong panindigan ko ang pamilya bubuuhin. Ngunit sa isang kapusokan nakagawa ako ng isang kasalanan na lingid sa aking kaalaman. Tanadhana ng diyos na mapalapit ako sa babae na kapatid ng aking nagawan ng kasalanan. Minsan kong hinusgahan sa kasalanan na hindi naman niya ginawa. Naging roller coaster ang buhay pag-ibig namin. Pero sabi nga nila gaano man kalakas ng bagyo at unos sisibol parin ang isang liwanag na magbigay pag-asa na tapos na ang kalamidad.

The moment I was pushed into the river by my six stepbrothers and drowned there, I was still clutching a piece of candy my mom had given me. When I open my eyes again, I curl up in my swaddle as a one-month-old baby. That's when I notice six children glaring at me darkly with their hands outstretched, ready to strangle me. As I stare at them, I begin cursing them out mentally. "Just you wait till the day I can speak, you bastards!" My mom rushes out of the kitchen instantly. "It's a rare occasion for me to cook for the family, so I told you to keep an eye on your baby sister. Why are you cursing all of a sudden?" The brothers swap glances with each other in confusion. The oldest brother, Alex Finch, scratches his head. "You must be hearing things, Mom. We were about to play with Meadow. No one was speaking just now." Upon hearing Alex's shameless words, I continue cursing him out silently. "You're the most shameless bastard I've ever seen! When I'm three years old, you'll plot to sell me to an old single man in the countryside! Screw you!" Mom's hands tremble slightly at that moment. She quickly picks me up, her eyes as wide as saucers. I flash a toothless grin at her in return. "Don't be scared, Mom. This time, I'll definitely protect you!" Watch as I, a one-month-old baby, send my bastard of a father as well as the six ungrateful brats to prison!

You will love it!!! Please open and read it~ ya ya ya yya ya Warning 21+ Pernikahan Citra dan Bayu yang bermula dari perjodohan tanpa cinta awalnya berjalan mulus tanpa banyak masalah.

My boyfriend Orion was the leading hunter of the Bright Moon Pack, who was sent on an S-class mission three years ago. Before he left, he told me to wait for his return, after which he would mark me. Holding him to his promise, I waited for over a thousand days, and he eventually did come back. I was delighted, but just ten days after I blissfully prepared for the marking ceremony, I overheard him speaking with his fellow hunters. "Are you sure you're going to mark Elara? What about Dahlia and Emery? Especially Emery—the pup's two years old and looks just like you. There's no hiding it at all." "Hell, the whole thing about a secret mission was a farce, to cover up for you hanging around for Emery's birth. If Elara knew the truth…" Orion shot his deputy a sharp glare right then. "Just tell Dahlia to keep her mouth shut and hide the pup. Elara's the only one for me." Dahlia? The pup? As it turned out, in those three years I was worried sick for him, he had a pup with another woman. My knuckles clenched, I returned to my room and called my father. "Dad, I want to go home."