Novel & Cerita Church Humor Stories

Everything in me let loose at the same time I felt his thick cum fill my insides. He slid out of me, my legs became wobbly as he dropped the one he was holding to the ground but he managed to hold me up. "Shower sex remains my best." I mumbled. "Mine too." He agreed without hesitation. "Right, Lucain, I forgot to tell you." I spoke up, craning my neck to look at him. "What is that?" He asked. "I need to go to the hospital." I answered. "Do you think you still have the flu?" He asked.

How he seemed so effortlessly perfect. I never thought he’d notice me. I certainly never thought he’d choose me. Five years ago. Three months after my father’s company started hemorrhaging money. I worked the register at Morrison’s Corner Store, scanning groceries for the same people who’d made my high school years hell. I’d dropped out of community college when my father cut my funding. Couldn’t afford tuition. Couldn’t afford anything. The bell above the door chimed. Bruce Smith walked in. My heart stopped. He was even more handsome than I remembered — filled out, mature, dressed in a tailored suit that probably cost more than I made in a month.

Hoffman Real Estate, once all hustle and bustle, was then just an echo of empty rooms and papers tossed everywhere, a total wreck. Seth was running ragged, bouncing between the court, banks, and creditors, forced to sell his wheels and his digs, even hitting up friends and family for cash. But it was still far from enough. Back in the day, Seth's so-called friends and business partners scattered like roaches when the lights came on, leaving him high and dry. He took a nosedive from the top, becoming the butt of every joke in the real estate world. Lily's story did not have a happy ending either.

Then someone in the crowd sneered, their voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, that must be Sophia's sugar daddy. Showed up to defend her. She's not picky, is she. She'll take a guy in his fifties." The crowd erupted. Some covered their mouths, laughing. Others joined in openly. "Yeah, I heard she doesn't care about age. Maybe this old man's a regular too." The dean's expression tightened. He turned sharply toward the crowd. "All of you–shut your mouths!" He glanced at my injuries, his voice urgent.

“Literally.” Christian’s expression gentled. “That’s… rough.” “It made me grow up fast,” I said “Embarrassingly fast.” A ghost of a smile curved his mouth. “I can relate.” We drifted back into conversation the way you wade into water. Slowly. Carefully. He told me stories about his father’s philandering habits, about siblings who arrived like unexpected announcements, about holidays that felt like negotiations instead of celebrations. The humor he used felt like armor—polished from years of practice.

“You have called me stupid on multiple occasions, told me I lack brain cells and what else.” “It was all a joke!” Christian defended his actions, but maybe if he never made those jokes in the first place, we wouldn’t have been here. “And I’ve never laughed, not once,” I told him. “Jokes are supposed to be funny.”

Aunt said to the blue eyed guy as he smashed his lips against hers. This is some telenovela shit. I stood up and started clapping so loud without nobody to back me up. Everyone stared at me weirdly. Ryder stood up, whistling and clapping. Few seconds later, some people joined as the couple's separated. We all walked out of the church with some people murmuring. Mr and Mrs Harvey looked super embarrassed. I smiled to myself. Missing accomplished. "Thank you so much," the groom walked up to me with Monica by his side. ." You sent that message to Monica, right?"