I Cheated Myself Like I Knew I Would นิยาย & เรื่องราว

The one he'd been giving me since the moment we met, the one that made me forget, for whole stretches of time, that I'd come here to plot revenge and not to feel wanted. Dillan had been unfaithful for ten years. One reckless night wouldn't make me anything I wasn't already entitled to. I moved closer. The booth was small, intimate, and I let myself lean into him without pretending it was an accident. His hands settled at my waist, not pulling me in, not pushing me away, just holding me there like he was leaving the choice entirely to me. I made it for him. I kissed him.

"No. I didn't fuck him." Jimmy's features softened, but it's only for two seconds because my next three words are going to break it all over again. "But I cheated." "We were in a relationship and I did something with him. We didn't have sex, but it was wrong and I came here because I thought you were good. I felt you didn't deserve it. I figured I was a bad person, but now I see that—" I blink furiously. No way. I will not cry at a moment like this.

I started taking steps back and started running away to control the break of my heat. To control the break of my soul. If this was how trust and love worked nowadays, I didn't need it. I didn't want it. They yelled my name but I didn't hear it. I should have know it. I should have known how he was cheating on me. I should have believed it when something in me never settled seeing him. I should have known how fake words were. A hand seized mine, but I tried to wriggle it away. How could I forget she was a runner?

Was he ashamed of himself for betraying the woman who was probably waiting for him? Oh god, how the hell I became this person! I didn't even recognise myself in that moment. I never thought myself to be this weak. I should've known, didn't life teach me just recently that everyone was selfish and especially when it came to men. It angered me that I had become so weak and just a few hours ago I had thought that he made me strong, but I forgot that he had so much power over my emotions that he also made me weak. I couldn't afford that. Didn't I know he would leave one day, of course I knew. But what I didn't know was that he was such a cheater, bloody bastard!

I cried like a baby, punching myself in the chest with every word. "I know I destroyed your future, and I know I destroyed mine too," I whispered, gripping her hand tighter. "I hate myself for it, but when I was with him, I forgot about everything. I forgot about the rules in the contract, I forgot about the guilt, I forgot about you, Madison." The admission was agonizing, the most honest truth I could tell.

I had touched myself under the scrutiny of those lusty eyes, and when I came apart, Daniel disappeared, leaving me soaked, my fingers wet and my heart throbbing with guilt. He’d made me cheat on Daddy. And I despised him more for it. There could only be one explanation and it was what I told myself last night when I’d run to the bathroom with thighs that were trembling to wash traces of my sin. Of him. It had to be my ovulation, hormones were making me primed and overly stimulated, it wasn’t Daniel who got me wet. Telling myself this and holding onto it was the only thing that kept me from going crazy. This was how I managed to fall asleep peacefully.

He winced at my comment but didn’t argue. “I shouldn’t have done what I did at the restaurant. It came out wrong. I wasn’t thinking.” He exhaled heavily, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I get it. You’re mad. You probably hate me right now. But you and I… we had something special.” “Not special enough to stop you from cheating.” He looked down at his hands, like a child caught stealing, making me shake my head. “I was stupid. Selfish,” he admitted. “I didn’t realize what I had until I lost it.”

William growled at me. I retorted mockingly, "I'm nowhere near as pathetic as you. Despite knowing that Marissa and I are about to get married, you shamelessly stick to her anyway. You didn't even mind having sex with her in the bathroom of a clubhouse. I feel ashamed on your behalf. Aren't you afraid you might catch some kind of disease from doing it in a public space?" William flew into a rage and punched me. Before I could retaliate, he dumped the steaming bowl of soup all over himself and screamed in pain.

Cheating had humiliated me. This— This would destroy me.

he scoffed and I looked confused as ever. “Cheating?” I looked at him and scoffed. What shocked me the most was that I couldn't feel bad deep down in my heart. If I cheated on him just because I danced with another man then I would have been blaming myself for it. “My friend was going through a hard time and she wanted to go drink I joined her and then started dancing with her but an unknown man just pointed me to him. I successfully ran out of his arms while dragging Anita along with me but then you are saying this?” I asked him after explaining everything in the simplest way ever.