Clean Jokes For Adults

On the day of my seventh wedding anniversary, my husband's lover gave my son a pet cat. My pregnancy made me allergic to cat fur, and rashes appeared all over my body. Sensing that it might lead to a miscarriage, I told my son to return the cat. "I'm keeping it!" my five-year-old son, Zachary, protested. He pushed me and said, "I hate having you as my mom! I want Aunt Lynn to be my mom!" My husband, Quinton Locke, tore into me. "Why did you have to develop an allergy now, out of all times? Is your jealousy blinding you to the point where you won't even consider your son 's feelings? You're being unreasonable!" He carried Zachary up and left with the cat. They had eschewed me in favor of Lynn Shelbert, Quinton's lover and the 'apple of his eye'. I collapsed on the ground, watching as blood began to soak my pants. At that moment, I knew I had suffered a miscarriage. I felt an unimaginable pain while I was in the hospital. My husband and son went traveling with Lynn, resembling a happy family of three. Lynn sent me a message. [Do you know why Quinton married you even though he's hopelessly in love with me? Well, I wanted a son and a daughter, but I didn't want to bear the risks that come with pregnancy. It's a shame you had a miscarriage.] Despair engulfed me that very instant. I hired a lawyer to prepare the divorce papers and took a flight back to my hometown. My sole wish was to never see Quinton and Zachary again.

I had been in a relationship with Zachary Dawson for seven years and engaged for three when, out of the blue, Ruby White, the daughter of his mentor, moved into our home. Sitting casually on the bed that Zachary and I shared, Ruby lounged with an air of nonchalance, her voice playful and teasing. "Zachary, the dental god, sure has a nice bed," she remarked with a smirk. "I can only imagine what it would be like to spend the night with him in this bed." I captured the scene on my phone and sent the video to our family group chat with a brief message: Looks like Zachary might have a new girlfriend Zachary rushed home, wrapping his arms protectively around a tearful Ruby. He pointed at me, his voice seething with anger. "My mentor's dying wish was for me to take care of Ruby! If you can't accept that, then move out!" Honestly, my brows furrowed deeper than the wrinkles on the bedsheets Ruby had sat on. Fine. I didn't need the bed, and I didn't need a fiancé anymore.

You are supposed to marry the man you believe is the love of your life but then a one-night stand with a girl changed everything so fast and you could not wipe her off from your bold mind. Nasabik ka nga lang ba sa kakaibang thrill mula sa babaeng yun? Paano kung hanap hanapin ng traydor mong katawan ang mga haplos niya? Are you gonna throw the five years relationship you have? And chose the other person despite being unsure of what you truly feel? Magiging ran away bride ka ba? At sasama sa taong bago mo lang nakilala?

Xander duduk, tersenyum samar memandangi tiap ruang pertemuan ini-markasnya-beserta semua orang-orang yang tidak akan bisa berkutik di bawah kuasanya. Dengan satu tarikan di pinggang, Crystal terduduk di pangkuan Xander. Menjadi mainannya. Crystal terbelalak, nyaris memekik ketika jemari dingin Xander menyusuri belahan pahanya lewat belahan gaunnya yang panjang. Terus naik. Lalu, mengelus pelan di sana. Sialan. Rencananya memang seperti ini, tapi tidak sampai seperti ini. "Duduklah. Mulai rapatnya." Xander berkata malas pada orang-orangnya yang masih berdiri kaku, menunggu perintah selanjutnya. "Aku ingin melakukannya dengan dia di pangkuanku." * * * Crystal Leonidas; the Perfect Princess! Hidupnya sempurna. Putri bungsu Billionaire nomor satu dunia, cantik, pintar, dengan Aiden Lucero; lelaki bak prince charming yang mencintainya. Melindunginya dari segala hal. Bersama Aiden, Crystal percaya ia tidak membutuhkan apa pun lagi. Hingga, tatapan Crystal bertemu dengan mata indah Xander William. Hangat tapi kelam. Menenangkan sekaligus menakutkan. Bukan rahasia lagi jika seketika itu Crystal terjatuh pada lelaki asing itu. Cepat, keras dan dalam. Percikan perasaan itu terasa menakutkan, berubah menjadi api, lalu menjelma menjadi rasa mendamba yang kuat. Terlarang, tapi memanggil-manggil untuk ia lewati. Ketika bibir Xander membakar tubuhnya dengan ciuman, Crystal tahu ia sudah melanggar batas. Batas berbahaya. Sayangnya, tidak ada jalan kembali. He is a Beast. A cruel beast who can kill you and throw your body in the east. So, what happened next when Crystal realizes that she already Falling For The Beast?

Damien Kings, the richest billionaire in the whole of Florida USA, he is known for his wealth and cuteness, he is also the country's sweetheart. He is also a single father with three kids: Kathy Kings: The first child, seven years of age, rude to ladies most especially those who get close to her dad and pretty though. Freddie Kings: The second child, five years of age, cute and handsome just like his dad and also a foodie. Flora Kings: The last child, three years of age, cute little angel, pretty and her mother died immediately after giving birth to her. The three don't want to see a lady with their dad, every nanny that comes to take care of them either get fired or resigns by themselves due to the children's mischievous act. But accidentally Damien meets with a lady and the lady eventually becomes their nanny. Who is she? Sylvia Jones, cute, nice, gorgeous, a true definition of beauty. She lives with her mum, Mrs Jones and she has a best friend named Rachel. She just lost her job and is looking for another one when she got an offer of being Damien's kids nanny and seeing she has got no job accepted the offer. What will happen when she gets to the house? How is she going to cope with the children? Will they like her? Or Will she get fired or resign like the others? All this question will be answered if you ride with me on this journey.

Orphaned at 15 Sara is left in the care of her evil aunt and her new husband. Sara has to try and survive the next few years without the support of her family. She makes friends with her new step-cousin and makes a vow. If neither of them find love they will marry. What Sara doesn't know is fate is listening closely to promises made.

Blurb Valerie thought she had it all, a devoted fiancee, a promising future, and a life carefully planned. But everything took a left turn when her fiancee accused her of cheating on him and being pregnant despite the fact that she was still a virgin. And true to his claims, the test was positive, Valerie was pregnant, question was how? Her family casts her out and her fiancee breaks up with her. Valerie is devastated and has no idea what to do until she rans into Max Black. A man who claims the child she is carrying is his. Valerie is forced into a marriage of convinience, she steps into the world of Max Black only to uncover some dark secrets, he is not just rich and powerful, he is the alpha of a secret werewolf pack and the child growing inside of her is his heir and also part werewolf. Valerie is now torn between fear of the life growing I side of her and the growing bond she feels with the man who vows to protect her and her unborn child

After three years with her lover, Lloyd Banks, the proud and powerful heir to the banks Empire, Nancy Drew gets the shock of her life when she discovers she is pregnant and the man tells her she was only a thing of pleasure and not fit to carry his child. Nancy begged to keep her child and begged to even be his secret Baby mama but he looked her straight in the eyes and told her the truth he had harbored for years. “The truth is, when I look at you, I don’t see the kind of woman fit to carry my child. Look, I don’t think I will ever see you as anything more than what you are right now, a thing for my pleasure.” Broken and dejected she escapes with her pregnancy and goes back to her father who kicks her out of the house with her unwanted pregnancy and she is forced to move to another country. When the government of the new country enforces a single child birth policy for new pregnancies, Nancy is forced to give up one of her children. Lloyd cried when he received a package that contained his son with a letter stating. [ I hope you find some warmth in your cold heart to care for our son.] The Cold hearted and Proud CEO vowed to find the mother of his child and make her his no matter what but he is unsuccessful for years. What happens when they meet years later and he learns that she actually gave birth to not just one but two children for him? Let’s go Find out in TWO FOR THE CEO.

Five years after we broke up, my ex-fiancé Bruce, yes the mafia one, suddenly called me out of the blue to announce our wedding date. I was speechless. Shocked, I blurted out, "Wait… didn't we break up five years ago?" He replied with his usual arrogance, "Break up? I never agreed to that. You left in a fit of anger. "And let me guess. You came back to the country only because you heard I was getting married. Out of jealousy, hoping to reclaim our engagement?" He even had the nerve to tell me to be magnanimous and accept Bella, the so-called 'perfect girl' who had spent the last five years by his side. I let out an icy laugh and hung up immediately. I had long been married to the most powerful Don of the strongest mafia family and had two adorable sons to show for it. Honestly, I had no idea what Bruce was thinking. Now, who even cares about him?

AN EROTIC ROMANCE NOVEL. READ RESPONSIBLY. STORY CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT. Grayson Andrade suffered so much from the betrayal of his fiancee. Dahil sa sakit, poot at pandidiri sa dating nobya, malaki ang naging epekto nito sa kanyang katawan; hindi na magawang tumigas pa ng kanyang pagkalalaki! It brought shame and disgrace to him, and as a man who was once worshiped and adored by women, he finds it hard to accept his condition. He tried everything to cure his erectile dysfunction but to no avail. Pero nang makilala niya ang isa sa mga katulong sa mansyon ng kanyang yumaong ama na si Olivia ay bigla na lamang tumayo ang pagkalalaki niya at pagkatigas-tigas pa nito. Gagawin ni Grayson ang lahat mapapayag niya lamang ang dalaga na tulongan siya nitong gumaling sapagka't si Olivia lamang ang may kakayahang patigasin ang kanyang nagtatampong pagkalalaki.