Corny Pick Up Line Jokes

Please leave a message after the tone. "Hi. This is Julie. Si Maria Juliena Dimagiba, tanda mo pa? Nakita nga pala kita kanina. Kasama mo 'yong boyfriend mo habang sakay kayo ng auto mo. Hindi mo siguro ako napansin kasi nobyo mo 'yong umorder para sa inyo. Oo, ako 'yong nasa drive thru. Rome... I'm sorry. Ang sama-sama ko noong mga bata pa tayo. Sorry sa lahat ng mga pambubully ko. Alam mo... feeling ko kinakarma na ako ngayon. Kasi ang yaman-yaman at ang sikat-sikat mo na, e. Tapos heto ako... kahit anong kayod ko, kahit anong sikap ko, wala pa rin. Hindi ako manghihingi ng pera sa'yo ha. Tumawag lang ako kasi gusto kong mag-sorry at sabihing..." Mahal kita, Borromeo Buendia Jr. Mahal kita kahit pansexual ka pa, bakla, o ano pa. I hung up and sent my message, leaving my confession still untold.

She's a nerd who dreamed of being just an ordinary girl but turns out to be a princess? However, is she really a princess who treated with special attention and kindness or the opposite? She was forced to enter the school of gangsters where she will encounter some troubles as a consequence of keeping her secret and meeting the Orvions—the superior of all gangsters. Friends, Family, Lover, or Herself—which among these four she will choose to save, let go of, and sacrifice as she fights against evil? Will she be able to survive 'till the end as she chose to cross the path of danger and misfortune at the end of the road or give up in the middle of her journey?

Amelia, a rich brat from Manila, who was sent to the country side to live with her Aunt as a punishment. She hates the place. It bore her. Then she met Hendrix, a college guy taking up civil engineering. Guwapo, matalino pero mahirap lang ang lalake kaya hindi ito gusto ni Amelia. "Guwapo sana pero poor lang siya. Hindi ko siya type." Pero ang lahat ng sinabi niya ay kinain din niya kalaunan. One day, she found herself admiring this handsome, broke, college guy. Oh no! She can't like him! Ayaw niya sa lalakeng butas-butas ang brief!

There's a famous catchphrase since time immemorial: The more you hate, the more you love. Alam ni Dennis na iba siya kompara sa ibang mga lalaki. Imbes na sa babae, sa lalaki siya nakakaramdam ng kakaiba. At may lihim siyang pagtingin sa isa sa mga barkada niya, kay Ervin. Subalit hindi niya ito sinasabi kahit kanino man dahil alam niyang ang taong gusto niya'y may iba ng mahal. Kaya mas lalo siyang determinado na itago sa binata ang kakaibang nararamdaman niya rito. Sa hindi inaasahan, may nakaalam ng kanyang sikreto sa hindi niya malamang dahilan. Raymond, the man who hates his guts. All this man do is to pick on his faults that sometimes, he wants to punch his stupid face. Well, the feeling is mutual. He equally hates the other. But then, Raymond's attitude turned 180°. Kung dati, nararamdaman niya ang inis nito sa kanya, ngayon, si Dennis na mismo ang nagugulat na to the rescue si Raymond tuwing may problema siya. Akala niya ba ayaw nito sa kanya? Wait, this is not a story about love. Maybe?

Si Rafael Jones ay bumalik ng Pilipinas dahil sa pagkamatay ng kanyang Kuya James. He never imagined that his brother would be killed in a car accident. He can't accept his death, so he tries to figure out why he had that accident. He finds out that James' girlfriend had another man and discovers that his girlfriend--Diane, is cheating on him. Then James was drunk and got into an accident. Rafael wants to exact his vengeance on the person who murdered James. Hindi siya naniniwalang aksidente lang ang lahat. Ipinadakip niya si Diane upang parusahan sa kanyang ginawa pero pinipilit nito na hindi siya si Diane kung hindi si Michaela. Hindi siya naniniwala dito. Michaela wakes up in an unknown place, and a man abducted her because of Diane's faults. Hindi niya alam kung ano bang nagawa nito. Hanggang itago siya ni Rafael at dinala sa kaniyang Isla. Pilit tinatanong nito kung ano ang ginawa niya kay James o ano ba ang nagawang kasalanan nito para mauwi lahat sa tragedy. Until Rafael realized he was falling in love with Michaela while they were on the island. Will he go for revenge or love?

"Do you want me to stop?" tanong ni Nicholas sa akin gamit ang pang-aakit na boses. Naglalakbay ang kaniyang mga kamay patungo sa aking perlas na sinilangan. Napaarko ang katawan ko sa kiliti at sensasyon na binibigay sa akin ng kaniyang kamay. "Tell me, Rosetta. Do you want me to stop?" "No..." "No what, Rosetta? No what?!" "No, Daddy. Please Daddy, Wreck me. Pleasure me...." **** After losing everything—her father, her fortune, and her future—Rosetta Morgan is desperate. The bills are stacking up, and the world she's known has turned cold. Then comes an offer she can’t refuse: one man, one deal, one way out. Nicholas Rivas is a billionaire with a body built for sin and a heart frozen by the past. He doesn’t do love. He does control. But Rosetta is unlike anyone he's ever met—fierce, vulnerable, and too tempting to ignore. Their arrangement is simple: no strings, no emotions. Just pleasure, power, and enough sparks to burn down every rule he’s ever made. But when passion turns possessive and feelings get in the way, the lines start to blur—and the cost of falling might be more than either of them bargained for.  

Si Ariah "Aya" Gallano ay dalawampu't dalawang taong gulang, iskolar ng kanilang bayan, at tumatayong magulang para sa kaniyang nag-iisang kapatid. Musmos pa lamang ay namulat na siya sa hagupit ng buhay dahil sa mga pagsubok na kaniyang pinagdaanan. Sa kabila nito, nanatili siyang matatag at higit na nahubok ang pagiging madiskarte. Subalit, dahil sa karamdaman ng kaniyang kapatid, kinailangan niyang makahanap ng mabilisang salapi. Siya ay napadpad sa dating application na "We Chat & Date", para humanap ng matandang lalaki na naghahanap ng kasintahan, o sugar daddy kung tawagin. Labag ito sa kaniyang kalooban, subalit kailangan niya ng mabilisang pera para sa pagpapagamot ng kapatid kaya naman isinantabi niya ang sariling prinsipyo para rito. Dito niya nakilala si Theodore Morgan, ang acting CEO ng Morgan Group, dalawampu't pitong taong gulang at ang pinaka batang business tycoon sa Pilipinas. Si Theodore ay napadpad sa dating application sa pag-asang makakahanap ng babaeng papakasalanan lamang bilang tugon sa hiling ng kaniyang lola, ang tanging tao na kumalinga sa kaniya noong mamatay ang mga magulang sa aksidente. Parehong may mithiin na nais makamit, parehong nais isakripisyo ang sariling kasiyahan para sa minamahal sa buhay. Ngunit parehong ayaw mahulog kanino man. Naniniwala silang walang puwang ang pag-ibig sa tulad nilang abala sa sarili at pangarap na nais makamit. Ano kaya ang kapalarang naghihintay para sa dalawang taong nais lang pumasok sa kasal para sa sariling motibo? Sa laro ng kasal-kasalanan, sino ang magiging taya? Kapag tadhana na ang nagpasya, mapipigilan mo ba ito?

Life has knocked her down so many times. Made her experience failures, sadness and frustrations. But one thing she always make sure, whatever those problems she may face, she will always get up At a very young age Selene, fell in love and gave her all but the man who promised her forever broke up with her without telling her his reasons. She was left with nothing but heartaches. She begged for him but he never gave her a chance. He dumped her, said words that hurt her to the core. The man who once adored her just robbed her innocence and threw her like a garbage, disgusted by her presence.

Dala ng kahirapan ay napilitan si Sabrina na huminto sa pag-aaral at maghanap ng trabaho. Dobleng dagok ang dumating sa buhay niya nang sunod-sunod na mamatay ang kanilang mga magulang, at biglang paglaho ng kaniyang kapatid. Kailangan niyang maghanap ng trabaho para buhayin ang sarili at para makapag-ipon ng pang-tuition sa susunod na pasokan. She ended up applying for an assistant secretary in one of the biggest entertainment companies of the country. And her boss is no other than Mr. Jackson Samaniego, the dubbed Devil Incarnate in the business industry. Masama ang ugali, palaging galit at higit sa lahat siya ang palaging pinag-iinitan nito. Pero kahit na gano’n ay pilit na iniintindi ni Sabrina ang amo dahil hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman nila ang nangyari sa asawa nito, at talagang kapit siya sa patalim. Pero paano kung isang pangyayari ang babago sa ikot ng mundo nila? Kakayanin kaya ni Sabrina ang hagupit ng galit nito? Kakayanin niya bang manatili sa tabi nito at pilit na ayusin ang pira-piraso nitong puso?

Lies, secrets, friendship and a betrayal. Wherever she goes, a trouble is following her. An incident in Isabela forces Charlotte to live in Manila together with her two cousins, Uno and Dos Villanueva. After Dos has posted a picture of them together on his social media account resulting for her to become the target of her cousins' enemies, she finds herself in another trouble. In order to protect her, Uno places her in Dos' class; A class known for having the most troublesome and violent students in Hillman High. Another trouble trails her from behind when the Class President asks her to become the Muse of their class. Secrets after lies, a friendship that ends up with betrayal, Charlotte is now forced to face those people from her past. An obsession she cannot let pass. How will her newly-found friends take all the secrets of the Muse? [COMPLETED]